[Copypasta] Mr Bear song (that's where your hopes go to die)

Well There's all sorts of creatures, down on Dangley Doodle Farm. Like wise old Mr Octopus, with way too many arms! There's Mr Pig! And Mr Cow! They're always in good moods. But That's cause they don't know they'll soon be sliced up into food! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to turn into despair. Mr Bear! What's That over there? That's where your dreams go to die! Mr Racoon! Wants to go to the moon. He'll end up as a bus driver soon! Mr Porcupine! Thinks he'll read the news at nine, he'll end up as a janitor, who stinks of turpentine. Mr Tiny Mouse! Thought he'd own a massive house. Ended up in a bed sit where he can't control the louse! Mr Horse! Though he'd go into professional sports. Now he's an alcoholic and he's on his third divorce! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the place your life becomes an endless questionnaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your hopes go to die. Lower your expectations! Maybe you could get a job in telecommunications. No matter how you try you'll never reach the League of Nations. The best you'll get is middle rank in trading operations! So lower your expectations! You'll never win an oscar, so there's no congratulations. The future that is coming will not meet specifications. And no amount of visualisations will save you from your own deterioration Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the tramp who thought he'd be a multimillionaire! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where self-esteem goes to die. Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's the disappointment that is waiting everywhere! Mr Bear! What's that over there? That's where your schemes go to die! That's where your dreams go to die! That's where dreams go to die!
April 2022
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtGy5ig2wQw
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill

twitchquotes: This is why I say the LCS has been going downhill. They bring a TFT player onto the analyst desk for a summoner's rift game. He clearly has no idea what's going on. "Scarra" is it? Has anyone heard of this guy?
twitch chat
August 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Daily stock prayer

Time for our daily prayer: Our calls, Who art in PLTR, Perfect be Thy Timing. Thy tendies come. Thy expirations be done, on earth as it is in Wall Street. Give us this day our daily Lambos. And forgive us of our puts, as we forgive those who buy puts against us. And lead us not into Debt, but deliver us unto tendies. Amen
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Pikachu

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Pokemon

you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about

twitchquotes: LUL you vs the guy she tells you not to worry about OMEGALUL
twitch chat
March 2018

Classic

Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle

twitchquotes: I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
April 2020
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing