I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
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Anne frankly, I did nazi that coming. I literally came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, 11/10 with rice, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro. CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed. Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. You are now banned from /r/pyongyang What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. Jet fuel can't melt dank memes, that stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. OP is a fuzzy little man-peach, 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Fuck Jenny. Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. /r/dadjokes. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh. Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. Edit: This blew up. RIP my inbox.
Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger
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Happy π¦ Thanksgiving π¦! Guess what π―βitβs that time β° of year π to gobble π¦ gobble π¦ gobble π¦ up β¬οΈ those dicks π chicks π₯ and bicks π€¨ (big dicks) ππ«π«π«π« I bet π youβre all π€π€π€ HORNY-copia π½ π₯π₯πΆπβοΈπππ for SKANKS-giving π€ͺππ€€π€€πππ youβll be saying π¬ thanks π for giving me all π« this π« COCK π₯³π₯³π₯³π₯³ send this to π of your thiccest sluts with those hot π₯΅ hot π₯ tasty π€€π peach pies π₯§ π ππ if you know 
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
what I mean βΊοΈππ if you get 1οΈβ£ back ππ€¬π‘ then you and that slut π€€π€€π€€π«π«π« have to appropriate Native American culture together ππͺΆπ if you get 3οΈβ£ back ππ€ youβre going to get your turkey π¦ eaten πππππ tomorrow night π±π±π±π± if you get 5οΈβ£ back ππ you will be eating your cousinβs πΆπ» peach π pie π₯§ just like youβve always π―π―π―wanted ππ€€π₯΅ if you get 7οΈβ£ back πΆ youβll become π²π² a pilgrim π©π and be the villain π¦ΉββοΈ of American πΊπΈ history πππ πππ if you get all 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back π€―π±π€―π±π€―π±π€― youβll be feasting π€€π this thanksgiving ππ in more ways than one π«πππΌπ okay you sexy π sexy π gobbling turkey poos π¦π¦π¦ itβs time β° for me to go β‘οΈ atone π€£for the sins βοΈ πof my ancestorsππππ©πΌββ€οΈβπβπ¨πΌπ€°πΌπ€±πΌπ©βπ§π€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺπ€ͺ
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Pokemon Marathon Season 2 Intermission
twitchquotes:
HOLD IT HOW PREDICTABLE THIS IS BORING NOT MY SHOULDER VERY SCARY-O THIS IS BORING AGAIN UNINTELLIGENT ?????? WANNA SHARE MY BLANKET
HOLD IT HOW PREDICTABLE THIS IS BORING NOT MY SHOULDER VERY SCARY-O THIS IS BORING AGAIN UNINTELLIGENT ?????? WANNA SHARE MY BLANKET
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Pokemon Marathon 2018
Iβm a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer
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Iβm a zoomer! Not a shady millenial or a boomer. Iβm a zoomer, not a Gen Xβr. Born in the 21th century. Iβm a zoomer, iβm yeething and sheeting and peeting and reating. Iβm a zoomer, we use internet since we were born. Dancing like fortnight! Iβm a zoomer, we donβt know 9/11. Iβm a zoomer, we are the 9 year olds. Iβm a zoomer!
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I sexually Identify as tyler1
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I sexually identify as tyler1. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of running it down mid and typing "hehe xd" to boosted animals. People say to me that a beta becoming an alpha god is impossible and that Iβm fucking retarded, but I donβt care, Iβm an alpha. Iβm having an engineer install a McChicken dispenser and an Oreo McFlury maker in my room. From now on I want you guys to call me βtyler1β and respect my right to catch axes and flame needlessly. If you canβt accept me youβre an dravenphobe and need to check your alpha privilege. hehe xd.
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Tyler1