I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas
Hunter's mark face
twitchquotes:
Wtf are you doing, just hunter's mark face and kill him?! 
twitch chat
Reynad
That's not his knee
twitchquotes:
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) that's not his knee ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
twitch chat
Kripp
Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good.
Mr. Musk I don’t feel so good.
༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ༽つ
༼ つ ◕_ ◕ ::;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . .
༼ つ ◕_ :;:.::..:. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
༼ つ :;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
༼ ;::,':;:.::..:::....:.:... . . . . . . . . .
WallStreetBets
Partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle
twitchquotes:
I can only assume from your cavalier attitude that you have yet to partake in the wonderment that is the McGriddle. Let me enlighten you. What happens is the One True God grows them on trees in the Elysian Fields using a heretofore unused incantation. He then proceeds to magic them down to your local eatery where whatever Ghetto Bastard cook your McDonalds has rescued from welfare that week proceeds to wrap it in cellophane and pass it along to you, the fortunate consumer. You proceed to ingest this finery in the vain hope that your obviously overmatched taste buds can somehow grasp the delectable intricacies it is suddenly faced with. Is that egg? Why yes it is, and bacon too. But wait-they didn't add... yes they did, yes they did indeed. They added cheese. And then, then my friends, they wrap it in a sumptuous pancake bun! As your taste buds try to process that amazing piece of information, IT hits them...the syrup nugget. THE MOTHERFUCKING SYRUP NUGGET! It announces itself with a burst of confectionery grandiosity the likes of which your palate has never seen.
twitch chat
I WANT TO TOUCH THE KRIPPARRIAN
twitchquotes:
ᶤ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵗᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵗʰᵉ ᵏʳᶤᵖᵖᵃʳʳᶤᵃᶰ
twitch chat
Kripp