I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks.
TL;DR I hate shitting
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
It starts with a charging Rein
twitchquotes:
It starts with a charging Rein. Janus floods the enemy team. His teammates race back and forth behind closed eyelids. Janus dies. Dead. Now itβs up to the Justice to decide what to do with it.
twitch chat
OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
Classic
Reynad's peak performance in salt manufacturing
twitchquotes:
Hello Reynad I am Terry Davison from the Texas Salt making factory. Our buisness would like to invest in your salt revenues as we have sensed a peak performance. Pls no pepper.
twitch chat
Reynad
Hitler messages Kripp
twitchquotes:
Hey Kripp how's it going, Hitler here. I've heard rumors that you've been MUTING your mic whenever our Nazi propaganda wagon drives through the area! As punishment for your crimes, you will forward some of your Colombian drug funds as tribute to my good friends working at Google+ to restore the Third Reich to its former glory.
twitch chat
Kripp
π HAPPY NEW YEARS SLUTS π
π―hey SlutS! π―π
Now that we got our yearly π FUCK ππΌfrom good ole Saint DICK π
πΎ itβs FINALLY New Years Eve!!!ππΎπ
2οΈβ£0οΈβ£2οΈβ£0οΈβ£ was a LONGG ππ and HARD πβπ»π« year.... we laughedππππΌ We cried π’ππ We coughed π¦π€π€§ we fucked GOODππ» dickπ and π΅π΅BAD π dick, π« BUTT π now letβs ππCelebrate ππ and watch that π¦πBIG π
BALL πππΌ Drop ππ on us! ππ So spread ππ½ those ππ½ legs ππ½ and count down β¬οΈ from π until your man πͺπΎ pops π his CORK πΎπΎ into that thirsty π
thirsty π
hole! π₯°π₯° Send this to 2οΈβ£1οΈβ£ COCK-BEGGING βπ»π WHORES to get BUTTFUCKED ππ± for the next 3οΈβ£6οΈβ£5οΈβ£ days πππ