[Copypasta] I hate taking shits

I hate taking shits. Taking shits is the worst function of the human organism after sex. You have to sit on the most uncomfortable seat ever, then you have to go through so much pain to push the shit out of your asshole (not to mention sometimes they get stuck in there). And as if those weren't enough then you have to wipe, you have to take your hand along with toilet paper and shove it up your asshole, this process can sometimes take minutes out of your life, it fucking sucks. TL;DR I hate shitting
April 2022
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Iron Man v2

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⢄⢄⠢⡠⡀⢀⠄⡀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠡⠄⠉⠻⣻⣟⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⢣⠣⡎⡪⢂⠊⡜⣔⠰⡐⠠⠄⡾⠄⠈⠠⡁⡂⠄⠔⠸⣻⣿⣿⣯⢂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢰⡱⣝⢕⡇⡪⢂⢊⢪⢎⢗⠕⢕⢠⣻⠄⠄⠄⠂⠢⠌⡀⠄⠨⢚⢿⣿⣧⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡐⡈⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡧⣟⢼⣕⢝⢬⠨⡪⡚⡺⡸⡌⡆⠜⣾⠄⠄⠄⠁⡐⠠⣐⠨⠄⠁⠹⡹⡻⣷⡕⢄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢄⠇⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣻⣕⢗⠵⣍⣖⣕⡼⡼⣕⢭⢮⡆⠱⣽⡇⠄⠄⠂⠁⠄⢁⠢⡁⠄⠄⠐⠈⠺⢽⣳⣄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢔⢕⢌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⣾⢯⢳⠹⠪⡺⡺⣚⢜⣽⣮⣳⡻⡇⡙⣜⡇⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠂⡀⢠⠂⠄⢶⠊⢉⡁⠨⡒⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡨⣪⣿⢰⠈⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⣽⣵⢿⣸⢵⣫⣳⢅⠕⡗⣝⣼⣺⠇⡘⡲⠇⠄⠄⠨⠄⠐⢀⠐⠐⠡⢰⠁⠄⣴⣾⣷⣮⣇⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⡮⣷⣿⠪⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⠂⠠⠄⡿⡞⡇⡟⣺⣺⢷⣿⣱⢕⢵⢺⢼⡁⠪⣘⡇⠄⠄⢨⠄⠐⠄⠄⢀⠄⢸⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣺⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣖⢯⣻⡑⢕⢭⢷⣻⣽⡾⣮⡳⡵⣕⣗⡇⠡⡣⣃⠄⠄⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣵⡿⣹ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣟⣯⢄⢤⢲⣺⣻⣻⡺⡕⡔⡊⡎⡮⣿⣿⣽⡿⣿⣻⣼⣼⣺⡇⡀⢎⢨⢐⢄⡀⠄⢁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠄⠣⠄⠸⣿⣿⣯⣷⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⠲⡑⢕⢵⢱⢪⡳⣕⢇⢕⡕⣟⣽⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢗⢜⢜⢬⡳⣝⢸⣢⢀⠄⠄⠐⢀⠄⡀⠆⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⢽⣝⢎⡪⡰⡢⡱⡝⡮⡪⡣⣫⢎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⢄⠄⠈⠑⠑⠭⡪⡪⢏⠗⡦⡀⠐⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⡲⣝⢮⢪⢊⢎⢪⢺⠪⣝⢮⣯⢯⣟⡯⠷⠋⢀⣠⣶⣾⡿⠿⢀⣴⣖⢅⠪⠘⡌⡎⢍⣻⠠⠅⠄⠄⠈⠢⠄⠄⠙⠿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⢺⢍⢎⢎⢪⡪⡮⣪⣿⣞⡟⠛⠋⢁⣠⣶⣿⡿⠛⠋⢀⣤⢾⢿⣕⢇⠡⢁⢑⠪⡳⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢑⠤⢀⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣟⣮⡳⣭⢪⡣⡯⡮⠗⠋⠁⠄⠄⠈⠿⠟⠋⣁⣀⣴⣾⣿⣗⡯⡳⡕⡕⡕⡡⢂⠊⢮⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠐⠨⢁⠨ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠯⠽⠐⠁⠁⢀⡀⣤⢖⣽⢿⣦⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢎⠇⡪⣸⡪⡮⠊⠄⠌⠎⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡂⢁⠉⡀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠚⠒⠵⣶⣶⣶⣶⢪⢃⢇⠏⡳⡕⣝⢽⡽⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣺⠰⡱⢜⢮⡟⠁⠄⠄⠅⠅⢂⠐⠄⠐⢀⠄⠄⠄⠂⡁⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⠄⠐⢒⣠⣿⣟⢖⠅⠆⢝⢸⡪⡗⡅⡯⣻⣺⢯⡷⡯⡏⡇⡅⡏⣯⡟⠄⠄⠄⠨⡊⢔⢁⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⢕⢇⢣⢸⢐⢇⢯⢪⢪⠢⡣⠣⢱⢑⢑⠰⡸⡸⡇⠁⠄⠄⠠⡱⠨⢘⠄⠂⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣟⣝⢔⢅⠸⡘⢌⠮⡨⡪⠨⡂⠅⡑⡠⢂⢇⢇⢿⠁⠄⢀⠠⠨⡘⢌⡐⡈⠄⠄⠠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣿⣯⢢⢊⢌⢂⠢⠑⠔⢌⡂⢎⠔⢔⢌⠎⡎⡮⡃⢀⠐⡐⠨⡐⠌⠄⡑⠄⢂⠐⢀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣯⠂⡀⠔⢔⠡⡹⠰⡑⡅⡕⡱⠰⡑⡜⣜⡅⡢⡈⡢⡑⡢⠁⠰⠄⠨⢀⠐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣢⢱⠡⡊⢌⠌⡪⢨⢘⠜⡌⢆⢕⢢⢇⢆⢪⢢⡑⡅⢁⡖⡄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠛⢿⣿⣵⡝⣜⢐⠕⢌⠢⡑⢌⠌⠆⠅⠑⠑⠑⠝⢜⠌⠠⢯⡚⡜⢕⢄⠄⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣷⡣⣇⠃⠅⠁⠈⡠⡠⡔⠜⠜⣿⣗⡖⡦⣰⢹⢸⢸⢸⡘⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠋⢍⣠⡤⡆⣎⢇⣇⢧⡳⡍⡆⢿⣯⢯⣞⡮⣗⣝⢎⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣎⢦⠣⠳⠑⠓⠑⠃⠩⠉⠈⠈⠉⠄⠁⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⡿⡞⠁⠄⠄⢀⠐⢐⠠⠈⡌⠌⠂⡁⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢂⢂⢀⠡⠄⣈⠠⢄⠡⠒⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠢⠠⠊⠨⠐⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
October 2021

Nazi doge

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄ ░░░░░░░░▌▒█░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▌ ░░░░░░░░▌▒▒█░░░░░░░░▄▀▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░░░▐▄▀▒▒▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▀▒▒▒▒▒▐ ░░░░░▄▄▀▒░░█░█▀▀▒▒▒█▒▒▄█▒▐ ░░░▄▀▒▒▒░░░▀▀█▀█░▒▒▒▀██▀▒▌ ░░▐▒▒▒▄▄▒▒▒▀▀▀░▀▒▒▒▒▒▒▀▄▒▒▌ ░░▌░░▌█▀▒▒▒▒▒████▀▀▀▀▀▀▀█▒▐ ░▐░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒████▒▒░░░▒▒▒▀▄▌ ░▌░▒▄██▄▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▌ ▀▒▀▐▄█▄█▌▄░▀▒▒░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒
November 2014

Grey face man

twitchquotes: ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ ᴍᴀɴ. ᴍʏ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴍᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ɪɴ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ɢʀᴇᴇɴʟᴀɴᴅ ᴡᴀs ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴀɴᴅ ᴡʜᴇɴ sʜᴇ sᴀᴡ sᴏ ᴍᴀɴʏ sᴄᴀʀʏ ғᴀᴄᴇs ɪɴ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sʜᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ᴀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ɢᴏ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏsᴘɪᴛᴀʟ. sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ, ғᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴋᴇ ᴏғ ᴏʟᴅ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ, ɴᴏ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ɢʀᴇʏ ғᴀᴄᴇ.
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

Troll face 3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⠴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠒⠾⠿⠿⠿⣛⡛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⠿⡷⠶⠶⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠛⠉⣉⣩⣤⡴⠦⠭⠥⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠂⠤⠀⢀⣀⠈⠑⠢⢀⠑⠀⠀⠙⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⠁⣠⡢⠔⢫⠞⣉⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠄⠠⠀⠀⠐⡠⢂⡴⠶⠦⢴⡊⠙⠒⠀⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⡠⢊⡫⡀⢀⣤⣞⣡⣼⣿⣦⠀⠐⠉⠱⡤⢢⠦⠀⠀⣰⠋⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⢾⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣼⡏⣰⠁⠠⠪⠿⣟⠩⠉⠀⠀⠈⢻⡧⠄⣴⠞⠁⣣⠖⠀⢰⣧⠞⠁⠀⠠⠍⡻⣼⡆⠀⢀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡾⠟⣽⢋⡒⠦⡢⠐⠀⠄⠒⠲⠶⠖⠋⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠙⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠤⠤⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⡍⠀⠐⠉⣉⣗⠦⣄⠘⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀ ⣾⠋⠀⢸⠇⢹⠟⢦⣄⡀⠄⠀⠀⠉⠁⣰⠶⢖⣾⠁⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢦⣤⣝⠓⠒⠒⠊⠀⠈⠀⠀⢀⣴⠞⠋⣽⢻⠱⡈⢳⡈⢯⠻⣦⠀ ⣿⠀⡆⠸⣆⢸⡦⡄⠉⠛⠶⣬⣔⡀⠘⠁⢸⡏⠁⠀⠀⠶⢦⣤⡀⠈⡇⠈⠳⠄⠀⢀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⠥⣄⣼⠃⡌⠀⢳⠀⢳⠸⡄⠘⣧ ⣿⡀⡇⠀⠈⠷⣇⡗⣦⣠⡀⠈⠙⠛⡿⠶⠾⢿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣀⣀⣁⣀⣁⣀⣠⣤⣿⠿⠟⠛⣉⣀⡏⢀⡿⠁⠰⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣿ ⠘⣷⡁⢀⢸⠀⣿⠀⡟⠀⣷⠋⢳⡾⠙⢷⡀⠀⣠⠤⣌⠉⠉⣉⣭⣍⠉⣩⠭⢤⣀⡴⠚⢲⡇⠀⣿⠏⠀⠠⠃⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠁⣼⠏ ⠀⠘⣷⢸⠈⡆⣿⣿⣁⢀⠏⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⢻⣾⠁⠀⠈⢳⣴⠏⠀⠹⣶⠇⠀⠀⢹⡀⣀⣼⣷⡾⠃⢠⠀⢀⠄⠀⠠⠁⠀⠀⣀⣼⠋⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣄⣼⠃⠀⠀⢸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⣿⡀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⢀⣼⠟⠁⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣿⣧⣀⣀⣤⣤⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣫⠄⢀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⢠⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣧⣿⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⠞⠁⡰⠁⠀⠠⠀⠀⡐⠀⢠⡾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⣿⡟⢀⡟⠀⣿⠋⢻⡿⠻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢁⡔⠁⠠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠁⢀⠌⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣼⠃⡄⢹⣿⡙⢇⣠⡇⠀⣸⠁⢠⠇⠀⢹⠃⢠⠛⠙⡏⠉⣇⣼⠿⢃⡴⠋⠀⠐⠁⠔⠀⠐⠁⣠⣢⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⡇⠸⡿⢷⣄⡀⠙⠒⠳⡤⠼⣄⣀⢼⣀⢾⣀⣸⣶⡾⠟⣁⡴⠋⢀⡠⠒⠁⠀⠀⢀⣤⡾⠟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣿⠀⠻⡄⠉⠠⡉⠙⠳⠶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣷⣶⠿⠿⠟⠋⠉⠖⠫⠕⠒⠈⠀⢀⣤⣴⡶⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢿⡄⠀⠉⠓⠀⠀⠈⠉⠠⠌⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠄⠂⠠⠤⠤⠴⠊⠁⣀⣴⡾⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣑⠒⠤⣅⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣶⠶⠶⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠶⠶⣤⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⠶⠶⠛⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
May 2021

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

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