[Copypasta] your streams lately have really helped me

twitchquotes: hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
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December 2020
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More Copypastas

Please confirm Kappa is working

twitchquotes: This is an automated message from Twitch TV. We have been experiencing technical difficulties related to the Kappa face. Please confirm that your Kappa face is working properly.
twitch chat
March 2014

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece!

twitchquotes: I think YouTube rewind 2018 was a masterpiece! It perfectly encapsulates the spirit of 2018 and the super funny memes we had this year such as fortnite dances, baby shark, dame tu cosita, k pop, and more! I especially like the part with everyone jumping out of the bus in the sky! That was so cool it looked so real. Thank you YouTube for making my year and reminding me of the awesome funny memes!!!
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December 2018

Toilet Pepe

⣿⠿⣛⣯⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣥⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡛⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣯⣭⣭⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣬⣭⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢰⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡏⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢋⣩⠭⠭⡙⢋⣭⠶⠒⠒⢍⡘⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⣯⡴⠚⠉⡡⠤⢄⣉⣅⡤⠄⢀⢺⡌⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⡏⡆⣿⣿⣉⣐⢴⣿⠈⠈⢀⠟⡿⠷⠄⢠⢎⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡫⣽⣒⣤⠬⠬⠤⠭⠭⢭⣓⣒⡏⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣾⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣵⡴⡇⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⠠⠄⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠠⢤⡸⣿⣿⣿ ⢇⡻⠿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣠⣤⣤⣀⡚⠿⢦⣄⡀⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣘⠳⣭⢻⣿ ⣎⢿⣿⣶⣬⣭⣀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣙⡳⠟⢗⣈⠻⠛⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⣿⣦⢸⣿ ⣿⣆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣛⣲⠤⠤⢤⣤⣤⣤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⠇⣤⣤⣤⡶⢰⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⡖⣸⣿⡟⣠⣶⣶⡖⣠⣿⡿⣡⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣛⣛⡻⣿⠇⣿⣿⠃⣿⣟⡭⠁⣿⣯⣄⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣷⣭⣙⠗⣸⣿⡇⣾⣮⣙⡛⣸⣿⣿⣿
February 2019

Pepe

My name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team

twitchquotes: Good Evening, my name is Gabe Newell from the Microsoft team, and from analyzing your browser history we are here to inform you that your Windows XP Operating system is not valid. Your OS will be locked in 15 minutes until you have paid for the Microsoft product. If you have any questions or concerns please don't hesitate to call us!
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December 2014
Forsen
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