[Copypasta] your streams lately have really helped me

twitchquotes: hey [streamer], your streams lately have really helped me with my depression, bleakness, dejection, distress, sorrow, my car trouble, my 401k, my grades, my slimp dick, my underperforming AMD driver, the armenian genocide, the galloping campaign, the war in the vietnamese, oh god they are in the trees, the battle of antietam, the housing crisis of 2008, the bankruptcy of greece in 2015, the explosion of chernobyl, my late grandma denise
twitch chat
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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And for a moment the two felt unsalted

twitchquotes: I love salt too.” Reynad confessed, as he slipped his feminine hand into Kripp’s and smirked. “Are you trying to top-deck me?” protests Kripparroni, as Saltnad blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Kripp. “Weak tempo play, Reynad.” The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and for a moment the two felt unsalted.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

salty

voting booth inspection is not required

twitchquotes: So I was waiting in line to vote when all of a sudden this voting "official" came up to me and said that there was something wrong with my voter registration and asked me to follow him to the back. When we went around back he said that I had to take off my pants and show my cock because penis size is the most accurate way to confirm voter identity. Because I thought he was a voting official I swiftly removed my pants and underwear to show him my member. After he fondled it for a bit he said it was good and I could go back into the line. It was only after I voted I realized that he forgot to check my balls too!!! He was obviously not certified to check such an area and I immediately contacted the security guards about his presence. Please do not fall for any tricks like I did! stay safe and happy voting!
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

YOU. ME. GAS STATION.

What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh, there was a roofie inside of our gas station sushi, we black out and wake up in a sewer. We're surrounded by fish; horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy, the stench draws in a bear. What are we gonna do? We're gonna fight it. BEAR FIGHT. BEAR HANDED. BEAR naked? oh yes, please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl. then we ride into a chuck-e-cheese, dance dance revolution. REVOLUTION? OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT? uh, I think so. next thing you know, i'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then i turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out which i didn't know you could do, then i smoked a joint. Greened-out, then i turned into the sun. uh oh, looks like the meth is kicking in.
January 2022

British "person" (🤢) in Godzilla vs Kong

I can't believe it, one of this year's biggest movies and they added a bri'ish "person", it's a well known fact by now that the so called "British" and the entire country of "Britain" aren't even real things. Why would the director decide to ruin the realism, the immersion his audience should feel when watching a huge monke and lizard fighting, by adding one of these imaginary "individuals". I must admit I was excited for Gozdilla vs Kong when I first saw the trailer but now... I don't know what to feel. I don't know if I have the will to watch this movie and be able to enjoy it while there's a bri'ish person on my screen.
April 2021

British People

Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
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