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Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
āAre you coming to bed?ā your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youāll stop soon, though. āSoon!ā you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltāthe alternation feature brokenāon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyāre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeāhours?āyou realize youāre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
āAre you coming to bed?ā your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youāll stop soon, though. āSoon!ā you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltāthe alternation feature brokenāon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyāre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeāhours?āyou realize youāre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
This is bullshit. Iām disgusted and Iām honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itās halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenāt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadās wifeās girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iām seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iām low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheās giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itās still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itās time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itās 2021 you bigots.
Fuck you all, Iām never listening to this sub again.
Yesterday I said weād see a rally like weāve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iāll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iām only listening to myself now. Youāre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iām blaming you. Of course itās my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
Yesterday I said weād see a rally like weāve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iāll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iām only listening to myself now. Youāre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iām blaming you. Of course itās my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise?
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itās not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itās a š³ļøāšš» legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation⦠He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be⦠transitory. He became so powerful⦠the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.
Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth JPOW The Wise? I thought not. Itās not a story the Motley Fool would tell you. Itās a š³ļøāšš» legend. Darth JPOW was a Dark Lord of the FED, so gay and such a bear he could use his money printer to influence the economy to create inflation⦠He had such a knowledge of the economy that he could even keep stonk prices from falling. The dark side of the economy is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be⦠transitory. He became so powerful⦠the only thing he was afraid of was losing his tendies, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught Nancy Pelosi everything he knew, then she sold at the top. Ironic. He could save others from market corrections, but not himself.