You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheās humming a song you canāt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. āWhat do you want for Christmas?ā You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. āNothing, really.ā
āNothing?ā She crawls into bed and touches your leg. āAre you sure?ā Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyāll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, āWhatās wrong?ā
Stonks only go up.
But you donāt.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheās humming a song you canāt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. āWhat do you want for Christmas?ā You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. āNothing, really.ā
āNothing?ā She crawls into bed and touches your leg. āAre you sure?ā Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyāll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, āWhatās wrong?ā
Stonks only go up.
But you donāt.
Is that insider trading?
If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
If you're a passenger on a newly recertified 737MAX and it starts to nosedive into the sea so you buy shitloads of BA puts over WiFi before impact, is that insider trading?
Iām a simple guy
Iām a simple guy. I donāt know about all these fancy āfinancial instrumentsā or āmarket dynamicsā or āwhere the clit is.ā
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
Iām a simple guy. I donāt know about all these fancy āfinancial instrumentsā or āmarket dynamicsā or āwhere the clit is.ā
I like the stock, I buy the stock.
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a šš» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a šš» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
Fuck you all, Iām never listening to this sub again.
Yesterday I said weād see a rally like weāve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iāll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iām only listening to myself now. Youāre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iām blaming you. Of course itās my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
Yesterday I said weād see a rally like weāve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iāll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iām only listening to myself now. Youāre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iām blaming you. Of course itās my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
I used to be a real ad