Sorry! Something wrong happened behind the scenes. Refresh and try again.
[Copypasta]Bloomberg terminal vs toilet trading
Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
Imagine spending 20K on a bloomberg terminal and thousands on hardware just to get smoke checked by some retards on the toilet trading on their phone that are not only on the spectrum but might be the actual spectrum.
(â̿Ě̯ââŹâ´âŹâ´ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
I am financially ruined
I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. Iâm too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I canât even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
I came here for the first time and in 3 minutes made the decision to put way more than I can afford into PLTR calls. Iâm too retarded and now I literally dont know what to do I am financially ruined and I canât even remember what I read that said this pltr thing was a good move. Fml
Christmas for a wsb trader
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
âAre you coming to bed?â your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youâll stop soon, though. âSoon!â you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltâthe alternation feature brokenâon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyâre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeâhours?âyou realize youâre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
As the tree blinks from white to red to green, you look at the void under the tree that previously held presents. Fewer this year than usual, but some.
How did you get here? Boredom? In March, you felt trapped with your wife and infant. You needed something to pass the time. Something you could throw yourself into fully.
âAre you coming to bed?â your wife yells down the stairs. It seemed harmless at first, but as the pandemic drew on, so did your investment. Youâll stop soon, though. âSoon!â you reply, and you hear her feet climb the steps.
The lights start to blink chaotically. You cringe because you could only afford the junk strands at CVS. Suddenly they haltâthe alternation feature brokenâon red. The red fills the room and covers your flesh. You look down at your hands, and they look like theyâre bleeding. Like your calls.
After a timeâhours?âyou realize youâre sitting in complete darkness. Your lights have expired, worthless.
Anyone basing trades on technical analysis right now is a fucking tool
So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them.
Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself.
Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional.
Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
So many arrogant fucks here love talking technical analysis when they can't even do basic fraction arithmetic much less understand Ito Calculus. Fucking clowns, all of them.
Shut the fuck up and do your trades. If you really need a number you can't even derive to tell you whether you should buy a stock or not you deserve losing all and hanging yourself.
Newsflash, the stock market never made sense nor will it. Best you can do is trade shit you know about and feel still hasn't been spotted by the bandwagon of smooth brains on subreddits like this one or r/stocks . Or alternatively manipulate the market like the rich investors you look up to do. Warren Buffet's dad was a politician, if you think that shit didn't help that fat fuck then not only are you retarded but also delusional.
Now stfu about volatility and RSI. If you actually knew what the fuck was going to happen you'd be chilling in Hawaii with a fat titty chick not on Reddit posting "technical analysis".
Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor
Just heard an employee use the âF wordâ on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but donât you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
Just heard an employee use the âF wordâ on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but donât you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
GME bank consultation
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
Short story-time for amusement reasons only:
some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares theyâre trading/Iâm buying.
So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I donât exactly know whatâs going on, itâs all pretty crazy to me).
Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is âtoo irrelevant for the big stock marketâ. They are âaware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GMEâ. They acted as if GME was some âchildish financial playgroundâ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how âGME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safeâ.
I left the bank, buying more GME shares.