[Copypasta] I challenge you to “Turtle King”

Before my ban, someone challenged me to a duel with cocks. I challenge you to “Turtle King” instead. We each dock our unhardened cocks into each other, then we put on clips of Yellen speaking during FOMC meetings. The first to effectively go from flaccid to erect and push the other out of the “dock” is crowned Turtle 🤴. Dual me, I’m 4-0.
October 2021

WallStreetBets

https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/qil34t/comment/hilda9s/
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Red futures :(

Bought a bunch of calls thinking I was going to be able to afford an escort to shit on my chest, now it's these red futures that are shitting on my chest.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

GME revamp

GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ape rocket

💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🐵🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🚀🚀🚀💎 💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌🍌🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎🍌💎💎💎💎💎💎💎 💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎💎
ascii art
April 2021

WallStreetBets

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Drunk at Applebees

I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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