I don’t care if there’s a microchip in the vaccine. I’d let them put a whole MacBook Pro inside of me if it meant I could get drunk at Applebees again
What happened to this ad? :(
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Solar energy stocks at night time
It’s nighttime so of course solar energy stocks would be weak as fuck. Wait til morning when the sun rises & pumps them
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The real power of compounding
Remember, if you lose 10% a day over several days you’re actually losing less money as time passes. This is what people mean when they talk about the power of compounding
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Kelly Loeffler after Georgia senate election
Kelly Loeffler I know you're at home right now feeling a little sad. And now you're in bed browsing WSB looking for hot stock tips with maybe a few laughs. But just know this: I will have sex with you. DM me.
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Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. “What do you want for Christmas?” You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. “Nothing, really.”
“Nothing?” She crawls into bed and touches your leg. “Are you sure?” Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, “What’s wrong?”
Stonks only go up.
But you don’t.
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Jack Ma goes missing
Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him 😔