[Copypasta] Man i love bull markets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀

Disclaimer: I am not a financial or investment advisor. Before this subreddit was ruined by ten million people, solid DD used to get done. Do you ever find yourself reminiscing about the good ‘ol WSB days? Well, your prayers have been answered. Degenerates gather around, as I am bringing you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to make some serious $MSFT tendies 🚀 Today, Bill Gates announced that after twenty-seven years of marriage, he will be divorcing. Do you know what this means? Bill is single and ready to mingle. Step 1: Use Wife’s Tinder Account Step 2: Match with Bill Gates Step 3: Wife goes on date with Bill, they fall in love, he proposes, no pre-nup Step 4: Wife marries Bill and becomes $MSFT royalty Step 5: Continue to date wife Step 6: Cash out 🚀🚀🚀 For those too retarded to read: https://preview.redd.it/tts3psz5q0x61.jpg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f68092ae47d414627c6dee8a0c4afd6808bcc57 Congratulations. You are now your own wife’s boyfriend.

May 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.

January 2022

WallStreetBets

GME to the moon

.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　　　　 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　,　　　 .　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　ﾟ　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　☀️if we hold　　. ,　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　,　　　　　　　　　　　 🚀 gme 　　　　　　,　　　 ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　˚　　　　　,　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　* 　　　　　　　 ✦ 　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　. 　　　　　　.　　　　 🌑 　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　.　 ˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　ﾟ　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　. 　　　 🌎 ‍ ‍ if we sell ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ‍ ,　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　* .　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　 ✦ ˚　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.　　　　　　　　　　　　　　.

ascii art

January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.

March 2021

WallStreetBets

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.

December 2020

[Copypasta] Man i love bull markets

WallStreetBets

WallStreetBets

MSFT Infinite Money Glitch 🚀🚀🚀

WallStreetBets

Classic

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

WallStreetBets

GME to the moon

WallStreetBets

Classic

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

WallStreetBets

The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

WallStreetBets

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