[Copypasta] Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it

Nice opinion, just one tiny problem with it. Inspecting your post, it looks like your opinion is different from mine. Let me tell you something, I am the baseline for opinions. Any opinion I hold is objectively correct and as a result, any other opinions are wrong. Guess what? You happen to hold the wrong one! I hope you know that your opinion is now illegal. I have contacted the FBI, CIA, the NSA, the navy seals, secret service, and your mom! You'll be sorry you ever shared your opinions, by the time you're reading this, you'll be done for. Nature will punish you, humanity will punish you, space will punish you. We decided just to make sure we'll nuke your house from orbit. So there's no chance you can run away, everyone will know you will die. It's a small price to pay, to remove your wrong opinion from this world.
September 2021
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Don't just feel casual look casual!

twitchquotes: COMING SOON!! Casual wear by Kripparian! Don't just feel casual look casual! Just pay the low low price of 4.99$ a month. And you took can look and act like a casual! Order now and get a free brofist!
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AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
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Am I The Asshole?

You have been warned!

twitchquotes: Excuse me but how dare you guys do this to me? Last week i wrote a beautiful story here on twitch chat and people just started stealing it and posting it as their own. If this continues i'll be forced to take action. You have been warned!
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I hate Twitch Chat

My blood pumpulates at incredibly capacities

twitchquotes: In greece, Kripparrian has risening from his antiwoke. As the Kripparrian plays cardstone, my blood pumpulates at incredibly capacities. For Kripparrian wins 50 cardstone. From a statistically standingpoint this is without precidenting! A hugely kilometerstone!
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Text-to-Speech Playing