"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
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More Classic Copypastas
Remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat
twitchquotes:
Wow great game!! 
(remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
(remove this part of the message after pasteing in chat, your $1 has been sent to your Paypal account, Bethesda)
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Kripp
sellout
Classic
Chemical Vegan
Spice! 
And everything nice! 
These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect streamer. But Professor Reynad accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction - Chemical Vegan! Thus, the Kripp was born! 
My son won't stop using "TwitchSpeak?
My son (14) watches a lot of video game streamers on Twitch.tv. I personally don't find them entertaining but I can understand why some people (like my son) do. Over the past month he's starting using terms like "pog", "jabaited", and "Kappa" which I guess are terms that are used in the scope of Twitch. I don't have an issue with my son using these terms but it's gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. We were having dinner and my daughter (age 12) was talking about how she got accepted for a summer program with the local animal shelter, and my son said "Pog you, easy clap". I told him that it was getting out of hand and that he would have to communicate normally to his parents and family. To that he said "Weird champ, feels weird man, normies omega LOL." Until he learns to communicate like a normal human being I've blacklisted Twitch from the internet for the time being. He's hysterical now but I told him that I would unblacklist it if he stopped using twitchspeak, but he's refusing to stop so for now it's banned. AITA?
Classic
Am I The Asshole?
A New Toucan Has Arrived
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββAβNEWβββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββTOUCANβββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββHASβββββββββ
βββββββββββββββββββββββARRIVEDββββ
ββ ββββββββββββββββββ ββββββββββββββ
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
Classic
Math is "mental abuse to humans"
twitchquotes:
You know how some people say that math is βmental abuse to humansβ? Well, lemme tell you one thing: βMathβ is an abbreviation for βmathematicsβ, so youβre only looking at 36% of the whole thing. What does the other 64% stand for? It stands for βexcept mostly at truly intelligently cool studentsβ! That means, if you think math is mentally abusing you, youβre not truly intelligent or cool! Youβre dumb and lame! So the next time someone gives you the first 36% of this ridiculous acronym, give them the other 64%. Donβt forget to tell them that they suck at etymology.
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