[Copypasta] "touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers

"touch grass" is not an insult towards gamers, rather it is advice for them. When participating in intense periods of gaming, the human hand has a tendency to get sweaty. The sweat causes the hand to become slick, and it b becomes more difficult to retain a grip on the gamers gaming mouse, thus making it more difficult to perform well in intense gaming moments. By touching grass with the gamers hand, the grass will impart a layer of particulate onto the gamers hand, the particulate can be made of a variety of dusts, dirts and other natural matter. This particulate will then act in a similar form to climbers chalk, absorbing the sweat and drying out the gamers hand. With dry hands, the gamer can now perform to their maximum when gaming. This is why when an enemy or teammate tells you to touch grass, they are simply trying to assist you in performing better.
July 2021

Classic

What happened to this ad? :(
More Classic Copypastas

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

When spam, my text automatically go to the smallest size

twitchquotes: ʷʰᵉᶰ ˢᵖᵃᵐ, ᵐʸ ᵗᵉˣᵗ ᵃᵘᵗᵒᵐᵃᵗᶦᶜᵃᶫᶫʸ ᵍᵒ ᵗᵒ ᵗʰᵉ ˢᵐᵃᶫᶫᵉˢᵗ ˢᶦᶻᵉ⋅ ᶦ ᶜᵃᶰ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᶦᶻᵉ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᵖᵉʳ ᵖᶦˣᵉᶫ ᵃᶰᵈ ᶦᶰᶜʳᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᶦᶠᶠᶦᶜᵘᶫᵗʸ ᵗᵒ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ˢᵃᶦᵈ ˢᵖᵃᵐ ᶜᵃᵘˢᶦᶰᵍ ᶠʳᵘˢᵗʳᵃᵗᶦᵒᶰ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵛᶦᵉʷᵉʳ⋅ ᵃᶫᶫ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᶦᶰᵍ ᵐᵃˣᶦᵐᵘᵐ ᵉᶠᶠᶦᶜᶦᵉᶰᶜʸ
twitch chat
November 2014

Classic

BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY

twitchquotes: OpieOP BURGERS I EAT ALL DAY OpieOP LEAGUE OF LEGENDS I CANNOT PLAY OpieOP EU STAR PLAYERS I HAVE TO PAY OpieOP PROPER HEALTHCARE AN OCEAN AWAY OpieOP YOU GUESSED IT RIGHT OpieOP IM NA OpieOP
twitch chat
August 2018

Classic

EU vs NA

Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha

twitchquotes: Dear Mr. Morosan, this is Sister Agatha from the preschool down the road. Did you and Rania have a child recently? I ask because of all the crying and whining I've heard coming from your house. The only explanation is that there is an immature person in there, and surely that wouldn't be you, a fine emotionally-stable adult! Please come by and I'll give the child a free lesson in manners! Cheers, Agatha.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

Classic

neverlucky

Please stop spamming, for Bernard

twitchquotes: Guys please stop spamming. My dog, Bernard, looked at my chat and got so dizzy because of the spam that he fell down and hit his noggin right on his food bowl! He couldn't talk for hours. Please stop spamming, for Bernard.
twitch chat
December 2014

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing