[Copypasta] I sexually Identify as your mom

I sexually identify as a single Pringle

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as a single, Pringle, ready to mingle. Ever since I was a potato I dreamed of being thin sliced, covered in disgusting oil then heated in a medium oven until reaching climax at the micro second of golden-browness. People bully me, and say things like "what the fuck, you aren't a Pringle", but I know deep down they are just jealous of my inner beauty.

twitch chat

March 2015

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of implanting wires in monkey brains and being the supreme leader of Mars. People say to me that a person being a multi-billionaire CEO is impossible and I’m a fucking Twittard but I don’t care, I’m the richest man on Earth. I’m having a plastic surgeon install a Tesla HUD, StarLink terminal and a crypto mining rig on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me “Technoking of Tesla” and respect my right to manipulate dogecoin prices. If you can’t accept me you’re a muskophobe and need to check your unionized worker privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

April 2022

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an the sun

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as an the sun. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of slamming hydrogen isotopes into each other to make helium & light and send it throught the galaxy. People say to me that a person being a star is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon inflate me with hydrogen and raise my temperature to over 6000 °C. From now on I want you guys to call me “Sol” and respect my right to give you vitamin D and probably sunburns. If you can’t accept me you’re a fusionphobe and need to check your astral privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

twitch chat

August 2015

I sexually Identify as

Overused sexually identification copypasta

I sexually Identify as an overused sexually identification copypasta. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of spamming other users with my unfunny wall of text. People say that a person who does this is an idiot and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having these words glued all over my body. From now on I want people to refer to me as an overused sexually identification copypasta and respect my right to paste unfunny copypasta in chat. If you can't accept me you're funny and mentally stable and need to check your choice of subreddits. Thank you for being so understanding.

October 2016

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.

twitch chat

May 2016

[Copypasta] I sexually Identify as your mom

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as a single Pringle

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an Elon Musk

I sexually Identify as

I sexually Identify as an the sun

I sexually Identify as

Overused sexually identification copypasta

I sexually Identify as

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

I sexually Identify as

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