Jack Ma goes missing after criticizing the CCP. BABA stock tanks. https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/kpsy0b/comment/gi1rh98
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Bears after a green day
It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
It’s 4:01pm. Bears solemnly log out of their devastated brokerage account, get up from their makeshift desk made up of a stack of empty Michelina’s frozen lasagna dinners, head up the stairs of their father’s basement, grab the keys to their tan ‘97 Chevy Cavalier and a cloth mask embroidered with the word “VOTE,” and drive down the street to the local gay bar for a holiday themed burlesque show.
Hopefully the FBI can find Jack Ma
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
FBI set up a tip line for people to send in videos and pictures of the people who stormed the capitol yesterday... I’ve been sending them pictures of Jack Ma. Hopefully they can find him.
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red.
“I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.”
But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice.
She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red.
“I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.”
But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice.
She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
Team Bull vs Team Bear
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
Team Bull
Jerome "We print it digitally" Powell
Elon "TSLA stonk too low imo" Musk
Nancy "Stimulus talks going well" Pelosi
Donny "Stop the count" Mango
Janet "Unlimited QE bitch" Yellen
Lisa "Su Bae" Su
Ryan "Make Gamestop great again" Cohen
------------------------------------------------------------------------
VS
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Team Bear
Jeff "No stock split to keep the poors out" Bezos
Mitch "Stimulus talks not going well" Mcconnell
Steven "Discontinue the PPP" Mnuchin
Andrew "PlTr PrIcE tArGeT $10" Left
Tim "Don't call me by my slave name" Apple
Michael "I'm publicly shorting TSLA" Burry
Warren "I fought in the Civil War" Buffet
Which team will win?
Team Bull or Team Bear?
Load up on weeklies for a ticket to the pay per view hell in the cell match.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Special Guests:
That one JPM analyst with TSLA 90p 12/18
Life savings SPCE calls guy
Jim "FUCK ROBINHOOD" Cramer
Genetics is the future
I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers.
Genetics is the future.
I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers.
Genetics is the future.
