[Copypasta] Jack Ma goes missing

Jack Ma is making poop emoji pillows in a factory now 11 hours a day and you guys are making jokes about him šŸ˜”
January 2021

WallStreetBets

What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas

I’m a simple guy

I’m a simple guy. I don’t know about all these fancy ā€œfinancial instrumentsā€ or ā€œmarket dynamicsā€ or ā€œwhere the clit is.ā€ I like the stock, I buy the stock.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

where were u wen Melon Captol die (GameStop short squeeze)

apolgy for bad english where were u wen Melon Captol die i was at Gamestock buying Ps5 when phone ring "Melon is kil" ā€œyesā€
January 2021

WallStreetBets

My idiot boyfriend spent my college fund on dog coins how do I get it back???

He talked me into spending the $8500 I have on dog coins because something was supposed to happen yesterday which would have given us more money?? but it didn't actually happen or got canceled or something I don't really know or understand how it works but I went to the dog coin site to withdraw my money and there is only about $6700 of it there, where is the rest of it? I tried looking at the faq but don't really get it
February 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

My wife told me to talk dirty to her

So the wife and I were getting into it and she told me to talk dirty to her. So I called her a filthy slut. She said ā€œdirtier!ā€ So I smacked her around and told her I was going to use her like the cheap whore she is. She said ā€œdirtier!ā€ So I said ā€œI’m gonna stick some SQQQ in your portfolio. I’m gonna put it in long and deep. I’m gonna fill you up with way OTM SPY puts.ā€ She then slapped me, packed a bag and took the kids. I think we’re getting a divorce.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Stonks only go up. But you don't.

You watch her as she brushes her hair. She’s humming a song you can’t quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you. She turns. ā€œWhat do you want for Christmas?ā€ You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. ā€œNothing, really.ā€ ā€œNothing?ā€ She crawls into bed and touches your leg. ā€œAre you sure?ā€ Again, you wonder why this person chose you. As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. They’ll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, ā€œWhat’s wrong?ā€ Stonks only go up. But you don’t.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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