I just figured out why they call them βBrokersβ
What happened to this ad? :(
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
We can't blame market
To be fair "but I poop from there" wasn't an explicit "no". We can't blame market for doing what it did.
WallStreetBets
Robinhood halts trading on President's Day
This is bullshit. Iβm disgusted and Iβm honestly on the verge of having a mental fucking breakdown. Robinhood has once again halted trading. But this time itβs halted on all stocks. This fine Monday morning I wake up to find that all orders arenβt going to be filled till tomorrow morning. My dadβs wifeβs girlfriend is a powerful lawyer in Boca Raton and Iβm seriously considering retaining her services and filing a class action lawsuit against these citadel dick munchers. This has happened to me too many times. Iβm low key spiraling into madness. Donate to me on onlyfans if you want to contribute towards the legal fees. Sheβs giving me a pretty kickass discount, but she estimates itβs still going to cost $150k. This happens to be the amount I lost on gme, but this is not relevant to the conversation here. Itβs time to rise up and take down robinhood once and for all.
Also, yeah my stepmom has a girlfriend. Itβs 2021 you bigots.
WallStreetBets
Apple announces an EV program
Oh boy I can't wait until 2024 when I can wake up to my Apple Homepod Siri alarm and check my Apple Watch for notifications and take a shower in my Apple Big Douche then put my makeup on before work in my Apple Mirror then take my Apple Car to my job at Apple Phone Plant #584 so I can work on my Mac Pro workstation designing the latest Apple Product the iShit smart toilet that syncs with your iAsshole to sense when you have a massive log brewing in my large intestine and sends me a notification to my apple colonoscopy bag. Russian hackers will know what I had for dinner.
WallStreetBets
bears are always fucked
Last week I went to go outside for a smoke and this other guy was there smoking as well. We got to talking and the talk of options trading came up. I accidentally slipped that I had bought a SPY put to hedge my portfolio. He immediately gets excited takes off his pants and bends over. Didn't realize he was a ππ» this whole time. Ofcourse I obliged cause bers r always fukkd
WallStreetBets
Ape rocket
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