[Copypasta] I just fired out why they call them Brokers

I used to be a real ad
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The Battle of Gamestop rages on.

The Battle of Gamestop rages on. Pre-market we could hear the bears in no-man’s land, baiting us towards higher prices so the shorts could do their dirty work. I was stationed at the 13.80 line, and knew the morning was going to be hot. I shoveled a breakfast of tendies and said a quick prayer to Father Cohen. When the bell rang, the bears surged into our trenches. Blood and rainbow fur filled the air and littered the ground. The Diamond Division has seen worse days, and we held firm. As the bears retreated we gave chase to retake ground we’d lost in the past week. As I caught my breath near the 14.50, I could see bodies everywhere; paper hands who had fallen in earlier battles. One of them groaned and reached a hand towards me. I spat on him and kept moving. No honor in retreat, and no sympathy for self-inflicted wounds. This war won’t be won in a day, but it will be won. Tell my wife’s boyfriend to tell her I love her.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant

A man orders bat at his favorite restaurant. 3 years later, NFLX fucking tanks 20% after earnings.
January 2022

WallStreetBets

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the β€œF word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Ape rocket

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April 2021

WallStreetBets

Careful bulls, dangerous things past the moon

Careful tomorrow bulls, there are dangerous things past the moon. ✨ .-' `'. ✨ / \ . β˜€οΈ β˜€οΈ | ; ✨ | | ___.--, _.._ |0) ~ (0) | _.---'`__.-( (_. ✨ __.--'`_.. '.__.\ '--. \_.-' ,.--'` `""` ( ,.--'` ',__ /./; ;, '.__.'` __ _`) ) .---.__.' / | |\ \__..--"" """--.,_ . β˜€οΈ `---' .'.''-._.-'`_./ /\ '. \ _.-~~~````~~~-._`-.__.' | | .' _.-' | | \ \ '. `~---` ✨ \ \/ .' \ \ '. '-._) ✨ ✨ \/ / \ \ `=.__`~-. jgs / /\ `) ) / / `"".`\ , _.-'.'\ \ / / ( ( / / . β˜€οΈ `--~` ) ) .-'.' '.'. | ( (/` ( (` ) ) '-; ` '-; (-' ✨ ✨ ✨ β˜€οΈ πŸš€ <--- BULLS ✨ β˜€οΈ ✨ πŸŒ™ β˜€οΈ β˜€οΈ β˜€οΈ ✨ 🌎 ✨ 🌝 β˜€οΈ ✨ ✨
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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