I just figured out why they call them βBrokersβ
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
NOT. SELLING. GAMESTOP.
π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π π¦ π
NOT. FUCKING. SELLING.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
NOT PRESSING βSELLβ ON 1. FUCKING. SHARE.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
IβLL GO TO $0.00 BEFORE BILLIONAIRES GET ONE MORE PENNY FROM US.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
CANβT STOP. WONβT STOP. GAMESTOP.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
TOMORROW, I THINK IβLL BE HOLDING THE LINE. MAYBE MAKE SOME TENDIES, TOO.
π π π π π π π π π π π π
IβLL SEE EVERY ONE OF YOU BEAUTIFUL APES ON PLUTO SOON, AND ITβS GOING TO JUST BE A SEA OF SPARKLING DIAMOND.
π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€ π π€
I LOVE YOU, ALL, AND IβM NOT SELLING, AND IβM NOT FUCKING LEAVING. NOT ONE. FUCKING. SHARE!!!
π π π π π π π π π π π π
WallStreetBets
GME short squeeze
Lets dumb this down for you apes:
- Let's say 5 banana's currently cost 10 dollar
- One ape on the market has 5 banana's
- Snake asks to borrow 5 banana's for a bit and instead sells the 5 banana's thinking price will go down soon (shorting). he thinks he can buy them later for less and give them back to ape, so he make's profit on the difference.
- Group of apes notice what stupid snakes are doing and decide to buy all banana's on the market until snakes have no other choice than to buy from the group of apes in order to return what they borrowed
- If group of apes stay strong then price will go πππ
WallStreetBets
Google employees complaints
Reading Google employees complaints about workplace is like watching Becky cry on social media how her life's ruined when she only got a new Hyundai for graduation instead of the audi she asked.
Bitch give me that 300k job and I will deal with "my voice not being heard" all day every day.
WallStreetBets
Fuck you all, Iβm never listening to this sub again.
Yesterday I said weβd see a rally like weβve never seen before
I was ridiculed and the market went down this morning so I accepted defeat and sold my nvda calls and got tesla puts.
My account is down bad right now. I also hedged with a tesla call so hopefully Iβll make something. Somehow oil also tanked.
Fuck you all. Iβm only listening to myself now. Youβre all retarded and so am I for listening to you.
Edit: not sure why some of you degens think Iβm blaming you. Of course itβs my fault. This is a shitpost update. Stop taking it so seriously you retards
See you tomorrow
WallStreetBets
Stonks only go up. But you don't.
You watch her as she brushes her hair. Sheβs humming a song you canβt quite hear and smiling to herself. Not for the first time, you wonder why this person chose you.
She turns. βWhat do you want for Christmas?β You want to scream Save your money!, but you only shrug. βNothing, really.β
βNothing?β She crawls into bed and touches your leg. βAre you sure?β Again, you wonder why this person chose you.
As she takes the weight of you in her hand, your mind wanders. To your puts. Theyβll expire worthless, like you. After several minutes of failing to conjure your manhood, she asks, βWhatβs wrong?β
Stonks only go up.
But you donβt.