I just figured out why they call them βBrokersβ
I used to be a real ad
More WallStreetBets Copypastas
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks ππ go up ππΈ, my dick goes too πβ¬οΈπ³. Bullish π market π¬ makes me hard π¦΄π¦. All the countries π³οΈπ΄π΄ββ οΈππ©π³οΈβππ³οΈββ§οΈπΊπ³ try to recover π from corona π¦ so the money π°π΅πΈ flows π¬ into my pocket π³. Soon π there will be a crash πππ₯Ίπ and the bears π» will crawl πΌ out of their holes π³. Then they cut off my greedy dick βοΈππ©Έ if I donβt β eat βem out π
πΈ. I must turn into a bear πβ‘οΈπ» and make π€πΌ more money π°π΅πΈ and eat some honey π»π―. When Iβm done β
Iβll throw a party ππ·πΎ and eat your ass π
π.
Emoji Pasta
WallStreetBets
I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer
I'm actually a pretty advanced bait station designer. While my formal education is a bit lacking, my cad and computer animation skills are really good, and I have some truly paradigm shifting ideas for bait stations, both vr and non vr.
currently in the beginning stages of seeking VC funds, really trying to move my operation from San Antonio to Austin, a second location could triple my revenue right now.
Obviously right now all our orders are high end custom stations, way out of reach for the avg wsb user. Its my dream to one day be able to produce real bait stations in a production environment.
Right now my company is in talks with several engineering firms out of Seoul to take our cum recycling system and some how use the energy from the spent cum to recharge the batteries.
While the technology is new. It has huge applications. Imagine when you go to charge your tsla, its powered completely by cum.
No longer must we let our nonbiological female prostitutes flush our GOLD down the toilet post coitus, that shit is going to drive our new society.
The money we save as a society on sock costs alone is tremendous.
WallStreetBets
Unrealized losses
She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. βWhat?β you ask absentmindedly. Youβre looking at Futures, and youβre surprised to see them red.
βI want you to play with me.β She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isnβt totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, βI want to do that more.β
But youβve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. βUh huh,β you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you donβt realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you donβt say a word because you donβt notice.
She hasnβt left you yet, but she will soon.
Unrealized losses.
WallStreetBets
I'm buysexual
Iβm buysexual, sometimes Iβm a top (when I buy) and sometimes a bottom (when I sell)
WallStreetBets
Little dribble drop
You guys ever like hustle your pee too quickly and pull your dick in faster than youβre done shaking? Then you have that little dribble drop that goes onto your leg. Itβs only a drop. But you fucking feel it. Sprawling down your thigh. Making its presence known and ruining whatever plans you just had.
Just happened. The fucking worst.