twitchquotes:
╲⎝⧹╲⎝⧹ 
⧸⎠╱⧸⎠╱
⧸⎠╱⧸⎠╱
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
GME revamp
GME should keep their retail stores but make it more of an experience like Hooters. Workers should be hot big tiddy goth girls or whatever other fetish gamers have. Bonuses if they have active social media (Instagram, Tik Tok, Only Fans, etc.) and extra bonus if they also stream on Twitch. 100% guaranteed increase traffic and sales in stores (simp farms). Literally cannot go tits up.
WallStreetBets
I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent
twitchquotes:
They say 9 out of 10 twitch users are dumb. I'm so glad to be in the other 1 percent
twitch chat
Trump
Classic
Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call
So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
the unluckiest human ever
twitchquotes:
BREAKING NEWS - scientists have discovered what they are calling "the unluckiest human ever". The unfortunate individual discovered this condition by badly playing a digital children's chess game. "It's literally unbelievable, dude", the man told scientists. "I play every game perfectly, but I just keep lowrolling and going eif!" The man continued to whine incessantly until, unfortunately, he dropped dead of a salt overdose.
twitch chat
k3soju
Teamfight Tactics
Cybrix and Head Chef of Dominos
twitchquotes:
OpieOP Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ Ｈｅａｄ Ｃｈｅｆ ｏｆ Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™ ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ ｆｏｒ ２ ｄａｙｓ， ｗｅ’ｒｅ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｆ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｏｋａｙ ａｎｄ ｗｅ’ｖｅ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｐｉｚｚａ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ ｔｙｐｅ （ＸＸＬ ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｃｒｕｓｔ）． Ｓｅｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｏｎ！ OpieOP
OpieOP Ｈｅｌｌｏ Ｃｙｂｒｉｘ， ｔｈｉｓ ｉｓ ｔｈｅ Ｈｅａｄ Ｃｈｅｆ ｏｆ Ｄｏｍｉｎｏｓ™ ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｎｏｔｉｃｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｈａｖｅｎ’ｔ ｏｒｄｅｒｅｄ ｆｏｒ ２ ｄａｙｓ， ｗｅ’ｒｅ ｊｕｓｔ ｃｈｅｃｋｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｓｅｅ ｉｆ ｅｖｅｒｙｔｈｉｎｇ ｉｓ ｏｋａｙ ａｎｄ ｗｅ’ｖｅ ｐｒｅｐａｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｃｏｍｐｌｅｍｅｎｔａｒｙ ｐｉｚｚａ ｏｆ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｖｏｕｒｉｔｅ ｔｙｐｅ （ＸＸＬ ａｌｌ－ｔｏｐｐｉｎｇｓ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｔｏｐｐｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｐｉｚｚａ－ｓｔｕｆｆｅｄ ｐｉｚｚａ ｃｒｕｓｔ）． Ｓｅｅ ｙｏｕ ｓｏｏｎ！ OpieOP
twitch chat
Kripp