[Copypasta] You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
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Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man

twitchquotes: 420/69 scientists agree that Twitch Chat is the most elusive substance known to man. The All-Knowing Twitch Chat flows through the very fabric of space and time. Twitch Chat is very unpredictable. What will Twitch Chat copy/pasta next? Nobody knows. Maybe the elusive Twitch Chat will copy/pasta this very message. Just remember, Twitch Chat knows all, and Twitch Chat is always right.
twitch chat
May 2017

Finland's national anthem

twitchquotes: Finland mentioned, so here is our national anthem: Isäm maa karjala perkele sauna kirves vaimo 6-1 omakotitalo vene terva mäntysuopa suomempystykorva konepistooli karhu ilves susi kossu viina pontikka metsä kiitos 39-45 veteraani Mannerheim Juti rillaa Seppo Räty Mika Häkkinen sydänkohtaus diabetes Trixi saatana.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

I had dreams and ambitions of becoming a pro 1v1 player

twitchquotes: Hello OddOne, my name is Gustavian. I had dreams and ambitions, of becoming a professional 1v1 player. I picked this game up yesterday, with hopes and dreams. But you picked a fucking stupid op noob champ, and i lost my 2 bucks because of you. Now i have to stay at my aunts house in Nigeria, because i cant take the train home to Uganda.
twitch chat
September 2014
TheOddOne

Donald Trump with mic

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠋⠉⡉⣉⡛⣛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣸⣿⣿⡿⠿⡯⢙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⡀⠄⢀⣀⣉⣉⣉⠁⠐⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁⣿⣿⣀⠈⠿⢟⡛⠛⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠁⠰⣄⣴⡬⢵⣴⣿⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢀⢄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡉⠻⣿⡿⠁⠘⠛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠈⠻⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣧⣀⠾⠿⠶⠦⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡀⢀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠻⢣⣶⡒⠶⢤⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠄⢘⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⠻⠻⠺⣼⣿⠟⠋⠛⠿⣿⣿ ⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣤⣾⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡤⠄⠰⡆⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⢦⣀⡀⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⠟⡋⠄⠄⠄⢣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠹⣿⣀ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⢺⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠸⣿⡄⠄⠈⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⢹⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘
ascii art
August 2019

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022
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