[Copypasta] You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Lord Microsoft

10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington. A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine. "Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside. Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out. The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground. "This is the last one?" the figure asks. "Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for." The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger. "Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-" "Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!" The guards grab the man, hoisting him up. "Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection. "Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse." The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain. He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale. "How may I serve you, my lord."
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

mizkifThumbsUp

⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣤⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢠⣾⡟⠁⠄⠈⢻⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⡿⠋⠉⠻⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣷⣄⣀⣠⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⢠⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄ ⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣍⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢛⣩⡍⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢿⠻⠮⠭⠭⠭⢭⣭⣭⣭⣛⣭⣭⠶⠿⠛⣽⢱⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⢱⡀⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⢇⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄ ⠄⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⢛⣭⣥⣭⣤⣼⣿⡇⠤⠤⠤⣤⣤⣤⡤⢞⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⣛⣛⠃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢇⡙⠻⢿⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⢟⣛⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⣿⣿⣶⣬⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣴⣾⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣀⡛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄ ⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣭⣙⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀
November 2021
Mizkif

Chocolate Rain Copypasta

twitchquotes: ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ chocolate rain ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ ヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ`、ヽヽ`ヽ、ヽヽ`ヽ
twitch chat
February 2015
TayZondayGames

Chess is dead

Chess hasn't been updated in almost 200 years and it's obvious the devs have abandoned it. The greedy creators took your money and laughed all the way to the bank. I remember back in 705 AD when chess was fun. Then they started adding stupid features no one wanted like "Castling" and "En Passant" instead of listening to player feedback and fixing game-breaking bugs. I've been complaining for YEARS about the collision-detection glitch with the horsey. The "clipping-thru-pieces" bug has been abused to death and the lazy devs refuse to fix it. Don't support this awful behaviour and boycott this company.
February 2020

Chess

I feel bad for cumming on my turtle

March 2021

NSFW

Text-to-Speech Playing