Search Copypastas

Really tired of being treated like Public Enemy #1 sometimes. There are a lot worst things going on in the world than a bunch of guys whipping out their cocks and sharing pics and vids of them and our loads. Especially when a lot of us are some of your biggest fans and simps who wouldn't hurt a fly and are just showing support in our own way. Just leave me in peace when I've had a bad day, need a release and you helped me through it.

Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Among Us in real life (sus, sus) Playing Among Us in real life, spaceship with my crew Gonna split up, spread out 'cause we all got tasks to do Gotta find the imposter as they try to sabotage Who can we trust in this Among Us entourage? Heard a sound, turned around, looking up, looking down Then I find a dead body Gotta blow the horn, emergency discussion, who should we believe? Can't decide, so, now we leave, not sure what I'm about to see Will it be a dead body? Still have a task I must complete Who's the impostеr? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can wе trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm a ghost, I'm my biggest fear, got killed by the imposter I was playing in the game, but now I'm just a watcher I'm paying attention using my 360 vision If it gets quiet, I listen Make sure there's nothing I'm missing Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? It wasn't me (or me) It definitely wasn't me No one can be trusted because someone is lying We still have tasks to do, so, let's split up so we can win Everyone is sus so let this last round begin There's an imposter among us Trying to take something from us We're still over here working While she's just ghosting above us Someone's under suspicion Sabotaging our mission Doing my task in the kitchen Until I stop, look, and listen Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? Who's the imposter? Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the I-M-P-O-S-T-E-R, that's me While everyone's doing tasks, I'm going through vents on a killing spree Yeah, I'm sus in Among Us We can discuss whoever took your life But if you think you're running this game, oh-yeah That's me holding this knife I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter Looking sus, who can we trust? I'm the imposter

Don't even ask the question. The answer is yes, it's priced in. Think Amazon will beat the next earnings? That's already been priced in. You work at the drive thru for Mickey D's and found out that the burgers are made of human meat? Priced in. You think insiders don't already know that? The market is an all powerful, all encompassing being that knows the very inner workings of your subconscious before you were even born. Your very existence was priced in decades ago when the market was valuing Standard Oil's expected future earnings based on population growth that would lead to your birth, what age you would get a car, how many times you would drive your car every week, how many times you take the bus/train, etc. Anything you can think of has already been priced in, even the things you aren't thinking of. You have no original thoughts. Your consciousness is just an illusion, a product of the omniscent market. Free will is a myth. The market sees all, knows all and will be there from the beginning of time until the end of the universe (the market has already priced in the heat death of the universe). So please, before you make a post on wsb asking whether AAPL has priced in earpods 11 sales or whatever, know that it has already been priced in and don't ask such a dumb fucking question again.

Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.

Have your heard of the popular hit game among us? It’s a really cool game where 1-3 imposters try to kill off the crewmates, while the crew has to finish their tasks or vote off the imposters to win. It’s 5 dollars on steam and other consoles but it is free on App Store and Google Play.

Based on fucking what? BASED ON FUCKING WHAT? You fucking cunt, you motherfucker. All I read is "based based based cringe cringe based", can't you fucking come up with anything else? It feels as if I'm talking to people with fucking dementia or something and they keep repeating the same fucking words on loop. BASED ON FUCKING WHAT??? THE BIBLE? THE OXFORD DICTIONARY? MY HAIRY ASSHOLE? OH my God just shut the fuck up it's like you can't form a coherent sentence without using one of these saturated, retarded words that lost all meaning overtime. "BASED BASED BASED CRINGE CRINGE WOKE REDPILL CRINGE WOKE GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU LITTLE BITCH YOU CUNT YOU FUCking asshole you bitch you cunt little shit Based? Based on what? On your dick? Please shut the fuck up and use words properly you fuckin troglodyte, do you think God gave us a freedom of speech just to spew random words that have no meaning that doesn't even correlate to the topic of the conversation? Like please you always complain about why no one talks to you or no one expresses their opinions on you because you're always spewing random shit like poggers based cringe and when you try to explain what it is and you just say that it's funny like what? What the fuck is funny about that do you think you'll just become a stand-up comedian that will get a standing ovation just because you said "cum" on the stage? HELL NO YOU FUCKIN IDIOT, so please shut the fuck up and use words properly you dumb bitch

Gru abruptly turned around to survey the restaurant, and barked out an order to the minions. "Vring him here! To zhat table!" Gru barked as he pointed at a large, empty table. The minions babbled and seized Spongebob and hoisted him to his feet before throwing him down on the table. Gru had grabbed some rope in the struggle and bent over Spongebob's body, putting his full weight on Spongebob. His crotch prodded against Spongebob's stomach and a curious sensation was being aroused in Spongebob. Gru tied the rope to the table, and around Spongebob's arms. Before long, Spongebob was restrained to the table by all his limbs. Gru stepped back to observe Spongebob and to ensure that he wasn't going to escape from his restraints. The minions eagerly crowded around Gru's legs and babbled excitedly. Gru's hands moved down towards his pants and started to unbuckle his belt. Spongebob's eyes widened and he started thrashing and screaming for help, help that was never going to come. As he was struggling against his restraints, Spongebob's eyes met Squidward's and he had also started desperately trying to free himself. His screaming was muffled against the gag and tears had started streaming down his face again. Gru's pants were now around his ankles, and his penis now bulged against his thin underwear. A bush of pubic hair faintly curled outside of his briefs. His eyes had never once left Spongebob's still thankfully covered lower half. Almost as if he read Spongebob's mind, Gru suddenly stepped forward and quickly ripped Spongebob's underwear in half. He had moved so fast that Spongebob didn't have time to scream before Gru slapped his hands over Spongebob's mouth. Gru groaned and grinded his body against Spongebob's, now naked, completely exposed and tied up. Spongebob whimpered as Gru put his lips next to Spongebob's ear. He licked his earlobe and breathed heavily, as he grinded his dick harder against Spongebob's tiny body. "So hot and tight, aren't you?" Gru moaned huskily. "You a virgin?" Gru asked, leaning back to see Spongebob's face. An evil grin slowly spread across Gru's face at Spongebob's lack of response.1 "Oh ho ho ho, is it my birthday?" Gru chuckled darkly. Spongebob cringed and began to cry harder. Was this how he was going tolose his virginity? He had always dreamed of losing it to Squidward, as his tentacly arms held Spongebob and sweetly, gently, made love to Spongebob. Now this strange man and these creatures were going to...rape him? This couldn't be happening. The minions had been watching Gru and Spongebob, completely enraptured. Their eyes were wide with wonder and some of them had hands down their pants, playing with themselves. Soft little moans arose from some of their mouths. Gru lowered his face to Spongebob's groin, and smiled up at him. "I'm feeling generous, little sponge. I'll suck you dry, don't vorry." Gru said lustfully. Gru took Spongebob's little cock into his mouth and began sucking. He could taste the burgers Spongebob the Slut ate all day long. Spongebob whined, but those whines slowly changed to moans as Gru began running his tongue across the tip of his cock. A knot began forming in Spongebob's stomach and his cock began twitching. Gru smiled, still with Spongebob's cock down his throat. Spongebob moaned as burger juice shot down Gru's moist throat. Spongebob felt like he was in heaven. Gru drew his mouth away and strings of burger juice connected his mouth to Spongebob's slimy, half-erect cock. Gru suddenly forced Spongebob's mouth open and spat out the remaining cum directly into his mouth. "Taste your cum, leetle sponge." Gru smirked evilly. Spongebob's eyes widened as Gru forced his mouth shut and forced him to swallow it. Tears welled in Spongebob's eyes as the sour burger-juice taste of his cum went down his throat. Gru released Spongebob's mouth and stepped backwards. He started taking his underwear off, and his 40-inch cock was released from its cage. Spongebob's eyes almost popped out of his sockets.

oh my god among us isnt FUCKING FUNNY ANYMORE ITS BEEN MONTHS MONTHS IM SICK OF THIS SHIT JUST FIND SOMETHING ELSE PEOPLE OH MY GOD EVERYTHING ABOUT AMONG US IS UNCOOL LITERALLY EVERYTHING IT SCREAMS “IM A VIRGIN” AND GODDAMNIT THAT WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS SHITB ITS NOT FUNNY ITS A DUDE ON METH WHY DO PEOPLE LAUGH AT THIS LIKE WHAT THE HELL BRO PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HOLY SHIT HUMANITY IS FUCKed THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE ALL TIME LOW OH MY FYCKING LOOORDDD DUDE @everyone STOP MAKING AMONG US JOKES ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY holy shit fuck anybody who finds among us funny im done with this shit

I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass. I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me. The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.

Now, let’s say, hypothetically, that a man has fallen into the river, in LEGO City. That would lead us to look at the facts and realize that it would be time to start the new rescue helicopter, due to the HEY! This would mean that we’d build the helicopter, and logically would be off to the rescue. I would, hypothetically, prepare the lifeline, which would proceed with me lowering the stretcher. Which makes sense, seeing as I would be making the rescue. So now I must pose the question, why do liberals hate the new Emergency Collection from LEGO City?