[Copypasta] abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free

abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours. Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
April 2022
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards

twitchquotes: Babbling book is quickly becoming one of my favorite cards. It's just so positive and generous. Practically costs nothing at all at one mana you drop him on the board and that chill ass mofo gives you a spell to use later in the game. And you also get this adorable little 1/1 can ping things but usually is too harmless to be removed. But more than the BB is just so positive. It comes on the board like "do you want to cast a spell?" and I'm like "yeah BB i do want to cast a spell let's do this shit" and when he attacks he's like "SPELLS ARE FUN" and I'm like "yeah they are SO FUN." He doesn't say some bullshit macho shit like "I will destroy you" he's just like "nah spells are fun." And it looks so happy. I mean this is an inanimate object literally brought to life by magic. It understands it's life is a temporary magical gift and the dude is just fucking loving it. I mean look at his face he's just so happy. I am literally never sad when babbling book is on board. IDK if he's gonna make it into the metagame or not but for now he (or she) a pretty chill card
twitch chat
December 2016

Classic

Hearthstone

QT locks in Ezreal

twitchquotes: Somedays I sit at my computer desk, wondering if this is it. Is this my life? Is this what I want? I then look to QT's stream. He locks in Ezreal. I smile. This is what I want for my life.
twitch chat
January 2019
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Pimp had to discipline his whores

twitchquotes: เผผ ใค โ—•_โ—• เผฝใคReynad, I am a pimp and recently I had to discipline my whores, how will this affect my canesเผผ ใค โ—•_โ—• เผฝใค
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as an Ironbeak Owl. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of being misplayed during tournaments and silencing the incorrect cards. People say to me that a person being an owl is ridiculous and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a genetic engineer put ironbeak owl DNA into my body, equipping me with feathers, beaks, and the power to silence others. From now on I want you guys to call me "Owlsen" and respect my right to silence from above and silence needlessly. If you can't accept me you're an owlphobe and need to check your animal privilege. Thank you for understanding.
twitch chat
March 2015

Hearthstone

I sexually Identify as

Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v2

It's Cinco de mayo... ๐Ÿ‘€๐ŸŒฎ๐ŸŽ‰ but all I want ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป is cinco DICKS ๐ŸŒฏ in my May-OUTH ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ‘…๐Ÿ’ฆ Today the SEXicans ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ beat the French ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ท at the Battle of Puebla ๐Ÿ”ซโ˜  and now you're gonna get your piรฑata beat ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜ฉ with a huge stick ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸŽ‰ but โ—๏ธONLYโ—๏ธ if you send ๐Ÿ“ฒ this to 5๏ธโƒฃ amigos ๐Ÿ‘ฌ you'd cross borders โžก๏ธ for ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ’ฏ Get 5๏ธโƒฃ back ๐Ÿ”™ and you'll find the Juan for you tonight โค๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜˜
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

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