abortion is 300$, plan B is 30$, a condom is 5$, but being gay is free. the choice is yours.
Don't bother trying to escape, i've connected a car battery to your balls.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I hate April Fool's Day
I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.
Moby Dick, The Grapes of Wrath, Tom Sawyer
Instead of reading any of those, you decided to read this copypasta.
No wonder you're retarded.
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Chug jug with you (lyrics)
We got a...
1# Victory Royale, yeah, Fortnite we 'bout to get down (Get down!)
Ten kills on the board right now
Just wiped out Tomato Town
My friend just got downed, I revived him now we're heading southbound
Now we're in the Pleasant Park streets, look at the map, go to the marked sheet
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
He said..
"Hey Broski!", "You got some heals and a shield pot?"
"I need healing, and I am only at 1 HP."
"Hey dude, sorry!", "I found nothing on this safari."
"I checked the upstairs of that house, but not the underneath yet."
"There's a chest that's just down there,", "The storm is coming fast and you need heals to prepare!"
I've got V-Bucks that I'll spend, more than you can contend.
I'm a cool pro Fortnite gamer!
Cool.. pro.. Fortnite?
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
La, la la, la laa ee ya! X2
La, lA AUGHH
La laa ee ya! (Will you be my pro Fortnite gamer?)
Pro Fortnite Gamer..
Can we get a win this weekend?
Take me to Loot Lake!
Let's change the game mode and we can Disco Dominate!
Let's hop in an ATK, take me to the zone!
I'm running kind of low on mats, I need to break some stone!
Dressed in all his fancy clothes, He's got Renegade Raider and he's probably a pro!
He just shot my back, I turn back and I attack!
I just got a Victory Royale, A Victory Royale..
(Chorus)
Take me to your Xbox to play Fortnite today!
You can take me to Moisty Mire, but not Loot Lake!
I really love to..
Chug Jug with you!
We can be pro Fortnite gamers!
(End of chorus)
Fortnite
Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter
I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter
WEE WOO WEE WOO
ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER!
steps on stage
Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!"
Comedy God: "Heh..."
adjusts fedora
the building is filled with fear and anticipation
God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense
comedy god clears throat
everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard
world leaders look and wait with dread
everything in the world stops
nothing is happening
comedy god smirks
no one is prepared for what is going to happen
comedy god musters all of this power
he bellows out to the world
"ATTACK"
absolute suspense
everyone is filled with overwhelming dread
"HELICOPTER"
all at once, absolute pandemonium commences
all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once
giant brawls start
43 wars are declared simultaneously
a shockwave travels around the earth
earth is driven into chaos
humanity is regressed back to the stone age
the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself
all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did
people who aren't killed die from laughter
literally the funniest joke in the world
then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma