[Copypasta] Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia

Criminal is escape gulag in Siberia. Enter hut that isn’t belonging to. Find peasant couple. Tie to stool. After tie peasant woman, he climb top, kiss neck. Go to shithole. While criminal in shithole, peasant man say, This man escape gulag. Is probably capitalist. Is lusting of woman like other capitalist. I saw he kiss neck of the you. If he is desirous of scandalous act, resist not. Be surrender like fascists in Stalingrad. Is probably danger. If is angry, murder all. Have strength, be product. Is love! Peasant woman respond, he not is kissing neck. Is whispering in ear. He say is liking to stick schalinski in holes of men. Think you look good. Ask if we are having any lard. I told, is in shithole. Have strength, bee product. Is love too! Criminal never return. Starved at shithole due to lack of potato. Fifteen years is long time to be without potato. Peasant couple couldn’t build communism due to being tied to stool. People’s Army Patrol rescue them. Is great happiness! Then sent to gulag due to failure to build communism. Carcass of criminal also sent back to gulag, made to work. Is no mercy for traitors of the motherland.
April 2022
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Mr Michael Santana, this is your German teacher

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September 2020

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So today at church the pastor was preaching about the crucifixion of Jesus and when he said that Judas would betray Jesus, I blurted out "JUDAS IS THE IMPOSTER! HE'S SUS!" and did a big wide grin (like the "when the imposter is sus" meme). The pastor then said "What are you talking about?" So I yelled "EMERGENCY MEETING! HE DOESN'T GET THE AMONG US REFERENCE!" and then I explained the joke. The pastor, not amused, told me to sit down. I sat back down but then later when he said that Jesus was accused of blasphemy and crucified I couldn't contain myself and I yelled out "JESUS WAS NOT THE IMPOSTER!" and when the pastor told me to stop disrupting I said "THE PASTOR IS SUS, HE DOESN'T GET IT" and I then told everyone to download Reddit for funny Among Us memes. That's when the pastor told me to leave for causing disruptions. I said "WAIT! I'M NOT SUS THOUGH! WHY ARE YOU EJECTING ME?" and then I said "WHEN THE PASTOR IS SUS!" And did the hilarious grin from the meme. After that I got kicked out but it was worth it because I just trolled them all with Among Us.
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Text-to-Speech Playing