So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party."
He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came.
His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas
Reynad keeps escaped walruses from the local zoo
twitchquotes:
Wᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇᴛ Rᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! I ᴀᴍ Dᴀɴ Gᴜʟ, ᴏᴡɴᴇʀ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴢᴏᴏ. Wʜɪʟᴇ ᴡᴀᴛᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀ sᴛʀᴇᴀᴍ ᴡᴇ ɴᴏᴛɪᴄᴇᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ᴅɪsᴛᴜʀʙɪɴɢ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴄᴏᴍɪɴɢ ғʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍɪᴄ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡᴇ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ sᴏᴍᴇ ʀᴇᴄᴇɴᴛʟʏ ᴇsᴄᴀᴘᴇᴅ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs. Iғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴ ᴏᴜʀ ᴡᴀʟʀᴜsᴇs ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ 24 ʜᴏᴜʀs, ᴡᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ Tᴡɪᴛᴄʜ sʜᴜᴛ ᴅᴏᴡɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀɴɴᴇʟ. I'ᴍ ʙᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜ.
twitch chat
Reynad
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING
My SUSSY POWERS ARE AWAKENING 😱😎
Part 1. I just did my daily jackoff ☺️ to my impostor body pillow, 😱 but when I came, 👻 I started floating, 😱 and think I got teleported into the skeld. 😮 I swear for a second I felt the imposter's strong hands grip my asscheeks.🤤 🍑 🍑 I immediately was transported back to earth, 😭 and I instantly got on all fours on my bed naked, 🤪 as you would, and started screaming in my best efforts to summon the imposter 💪
“IM READY FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME PLEASE DADDY IMPOSTER”
I was so close to feeling the imposters sweet cock fuck the shit out of me 🤤 but then my NAZI RACIST mother came in and beat the shit out of me. 😔😒🙁☹️
She then said I was going to a magical place called the “mental asylum” 
I’m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC 😮
I’m not too sure where that dimension is located but it sounds EPIC 😮
Among Us / Amogus
WE ARE RITO
twitchquotes:
୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ WE ARE RITO ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
Classic
Trolling my whole class with Among Us Part 1
So today in school, my English teacher was having us do presentation in front of our class. For my presentation, I decided to troll my entire class by making my entire slideshow about the popular game, Among Us. I started off the presentation by showing the class the picture of the Among Us imposter wearing sneakers (it's a meme on google if you want to search for it). For some reason, no one laughed at the meme. My teacher told me "this isn't what your presentation is supposed to be about." I responded by yelling "THE TEACHER IS SUS I SAW HER VENT" and then naruto running around the room. Again, no one even giggled. I assume it's because it was forst bell and everyone was tired. My teacher said "Please sit down." But I wasn't about to give up. I made a last ditch effort to make everyone laugh. I started to beatbox the Among Us theme song trap remix. I was beatboxing it so well (i had practiced it at home), i was certain that everyone would burst out in laughter. Unfortunately, not a single person laughed. Everyone was staring at me, so I said "You guys are all sussy, I'm gonna eject you".
Long story short, I ended up getting a bad grade on my presentation and I got a detention. However, it was worth it because I totally got to troll my entire class.