[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

There is a bunch of Twitch overlords

twitchquotes: There is a bunch of Twitch overlords who grow batches of streamers from genetically modified eggs. When these eggs hatch and grow, they are given their first computer and start streaming a Dora the Explorer game. As they grow up, the most popular streamers advance and are given more complex games to stream, from CoD to Hearthstone. Each streamer lives in a small cubicle, and there are hundreds upon hundreds of cubicles on the grounds of the Twitch Headquarters. deIlluminati
twitch chat
March 2016
Kripp

WutFace

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⢠⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠄⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⣤⣭⣋⣻⣋⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣛⠛⡉⠩⣭⣍⣷⢮⣤⡉⢧⣀⣀⣈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣾⣾⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⣦⣤⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⡛⠟⠑⠘⢿⣿⣿⣶⡂⠁⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡀⢾⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡃⠄⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠉⠩⠤⠄⠁⠄⢻⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣥⠄⠄⠙⣿⣿⡇⡀⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡯⠄⠒⢺⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠄⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠟⠄⠄⠼⠋⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2018

Genetics is the future

I keep putting more money into ARKG and making more money and I'm starting to actually fall in love with the genetics revolution. I hope one day they invent some sort of super sperm cocktail so I can shoot thicc rope with giant big brain sperm like tadpoles that come out and shoot 16 feet at 90mph. Then I can train my fatheaded genius kids how to buy calls. It could also offer a self-defense solution in a pinch as you rapid fire tadpoles at any incoming attackers. Genetics is the future.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

I cannot get over how much Kripp complains

twitchquotes: I cannot get over how much this guy complains as soon as he doesn't get extremely lucky. He is so incredibly narcissistic that he truly believes nobody else is allowed to do well or draft effective cards. We are all just guests who play in Kripp's world of hearthstone. To suggest that you are better than Kripp must simply mean that you have better RNG. What an arrogant failure of a man
twitch chat
June 2016
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

I've always been a DC fan

twitchquotes: (sponsored spam) I've always been a DC fan (I guess you could say Fanboy LOL) but after watching Kripparrian play Marvel Future Fight, I gotta say, I'm HOOKED! Featuring iconic characters like Black Panther and Thanos, I gotta say, I'm pretty damn interested in this game. Thank you Kripparrian!
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp

sellout

Text-to-Speech Playing