[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

twitch chatting requires a BIG BRAIN

twitchquotes: If you think about it twitch chatting requires a certain level of intelligence considering the vast number of emotes, knowing which scenarios to use them, and remembering how to spell them (including capital vs lowercase letters)
twitch chat
May 2019

Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room

twitchquotes: Kripp throws his paintbrush across the room. "The canvas needed to topdeck exactly that color to win!" he yells. Dex brings Kripp his paintbrush and Kripp tries again. He tries to paint a happy tree but paints a sad cactus. "The canvas is obviously sniping. How else could it know I was painting a happy tree?" Dex barks. "Quiet, Dex!" screams Kripp as he paints the bottom right of the canvas and concedes.
twitch chat
November 2018
Kripp

BionicBunion

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–’β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–„β–’β–€β–’β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–€β–„β–’β–’β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–€β–€β–€β–’β–’β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–‘β–„β–€ β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–“β–„β–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆ β–„β–€β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–€β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–„ β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–“β–‘β–“ β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–„β–€β–„β–€
ascii art
November 2014
patashu

bro i’m more japan than you

twitchquotes: bro are you disrespecting my japanese culture bro i’m more japan than all of you because i watch anime and you don’t, i bet you don’t even know what Naruto is you degenerate. So before you message me acting like you know my culture maybe check yourself first
twitch chat
June 2019

Weebs

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger

They tried circumcising me but my foreskin only grew back stronger. Since then I have been circumcised every 6 months. My foreskin is now stronger than steel. When I am in danger, I pull it over my body like an outer shell. It is fully bulletproof, fireproof, waterproof and extremely lightweight. I have plans to sell it as a highly rare, resistant material and make millions. Brigades will be made out of beams of foreskin, and police units will wear foreskin vests.
August 2021
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing