[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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An exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke

Greetings. My name is Beef, and today I would like to present an exceedingly excellent "your mother" joke. I will now begin. Your biological mother is so morbidly obese, when she went to go get her yearly physical done, the doctor took her blood and the results concluded that she had a high blood pressure, onset type 2 diabetes, hypertension and the possibility of heart disease. She also suffers from severe depression, because she lacks confidence in her physical appearance, which enables her to consume even more food, making her more obese. Not to mention, but your mother is becoming so monstrous, she had a hard time fitting through small spaces and exceeding weight limits on practical applications. Your mother has an endless cycle of malicious eating habits that only make her health worsen over time. I hope whoever has just read this enjoyed the humorous "your mother" joke. Thank you for your time, and have a blessed day.
April 2022

Stop objectifying Kripp

twitchquotes: I am honestly so sick and tired of people objectifying Kripp. Like yeah I get it he's a hyper-attractive vegan with large muscles and a beautiful aesthetic but that's not the point of the stream. I remember the good old days when he played PoE and everyone was just here for the memes and the gameplay but things have changed. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate the healthy lifestyle Kripp has adopted and I find it hard to look away from the camera but it just feels wrong. Maybe I'm just jealous
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

Chess is too basic for Kripp

twitchquotes: "Well," Kripp drawled, a toothy grin splitting his face, "I think chess is a little too basic a game for me. I mean, only 6 different types of pieces? It's a game for children. No strategy whatsoever" That said, he proceeded to chortle as his opponents Huffer triggered his effigy, creating a Nexus Champion Sarad. "Outplayed."
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

forsenSheffy

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠛⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡤⢲⠤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻ ⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⢀⣞⣱⣜⣶⢱⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢨ ⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣝⣿⣿⣷⣸⢰⣿⣷⡃⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾ ⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠨⠿⠿⢿⠿⡿⣿⣿⠅⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿ ⣷⣄⡀⠄⠄⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⣿⣥⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣶⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠾⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠠⠚⣉⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠰⣢⣴⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⢰⣶⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⣷⣤⡄⣶⣿⣿⣁⠒⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⣮⣻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⡟⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣦⣤⣤⠄⠄⠚⠈⠁⠘⣤⣀⣠⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⢈⣀⠄⠄⠄⢤⡙⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⠰⠺⠁⠄⠄⢀⣀⣿⡤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣨⠉⠉⠄⣾⣿⣿⡗⠁⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

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