[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner

twitchquotes: Apparently I "ruined" Thanksgiving dinner by bringing my girlfriend Asuka. My mum didn't care that she was a giat robot pilot, tasked with protecting the world after the Second Impact. She insisted that Asuka isn't real and now we're banned from the local country club. Anyways, my mum says if I don't bring a "real" girl to our Christmas dinner I'm going to get kicked out of the house!!! Asuka sets the bar pretty high but if you think you can compete with her please message me :)
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Bear

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November 2014

I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Octavian Morosan. I am contacting you as a representative of the NSA. Recent reports say that you are playing a children's card game and spilling PJSalt everywhere. The PJSalt is clogging our network and blocking our abilities to spy on you and the rest of Canadaland. I am going to have to ask you to stop the salt as it is a threat to national security. Please don't copy paste this official document. This is serious.
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

salty

Are you going to pay for another pizza?

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp! So here I was enjoying my favorite food (pizza) and watching your stream having a good time when it started to taste extra salty. It turns out you were being super salty and now have ruined my pizza. Are you going to pay for another pizza or will I have to call the cops? This is serious.
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Classic

Hearthstone

salty

Pepe 200 IQ

⠄⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣤⡓⠦⢤⣤⣤⣤⣔⠦⢤⣀⣀⣤⣤⢤⣀⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄ ⡿⠿⠗⣽⣿⠊⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠈⣾⣿⠁⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⣱⣿⡟⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⠋⠈⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⢠⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⢠⠄⠄⣿⣿⢰⢸⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠞⢿⡿⠿⠿⠄⠘⠻⠷⠿⣋⣚⣌⡻⠷⠿⢟⣘⡆⢚⡄⠿⠟⢸⣬⡛⢷⣿⣋⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠉⢐⣒⣒⡒⠎⠻⡿⣛⣩⠭⠭⢤⣀⣀⠄ ⢸⡍⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡓⠕⣊⣭⠥⠄⠄⢩⣍⢿⡏⣴⣶⠡⠄⠐⣮⣝⠳ ⠸⢲⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⡻⠿⠆⠄⠄⠜⣋⣼⣷⣉⠿⠦⠤⣂⣡⡶⠂ ⠄⠸⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⢟⣛⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢉⣉⠉⣠⣄⠄⣠⣤⡀⣠⣤⣀⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣀⡁⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣉⠄⠉⠙⠉⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⣛⡒⠤⠭⠉⢩⣭⠍⣿⢛⣛⣛⡛⢛⣃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡜⢿⠌⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

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