[Copypasta] So as a joke, I fucked my friend in a Red M&M cosplay

So as a joke, I went to my friend's house wearing Red M&M’s wrapper and shoes. I could barely stop my laughter as he went as red as an M&M and looked at me from head to toe with a bit of drool in his mouth. The way he stared made mde feel a bit funny too, but I decided to tease him more by taking off my wrapper. He asked me, "Are you serious?" and I said "It’s that kind of party." He went silent for what seemed like forever, so I asked him, "What's the matter, can’t resist my chocolaty interior?" He said he's confused, but then his boner got really hard, which made me take off his clothes. I expected him to scream, "Stop!" as I kissed him and stroked his cock, but he instead shouted "I melt in your mouth, not in your hands!" which made me get a boner myself. Before I knew it, I was blowing him for the first time till he came. His semen was so thick, it got stuck inside my throat no matter how hard I swallowed. He then said, "I want to fuck you now!" and seeing that we've already gone that far and we were both naked, I obliged. A few hours later, the jerk went all pale and said to me "Why did we do that? Now I'm not fucking straight." But he still looked so cute all confused like that, so I took pity on him and reassured while wiping his cum off my face, "Let's just pretend I'ms till Red M&M."
September 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hate British people

Lame ass British motherfucking broken teeth tea drinking small country weird accent monocle top hat wearer bitchass motherfuckers with their poor hygiene and dental care and a shitty bitchass old ass motherfucking queen that was alive during the fucking Boston tea party just to say “OH WHAT BLOODY WANKERS” towards the Americans who made the smart ass decision to throw their dumbass motherfucking tea into the fucking BOSTON HARBOR then say “see you” and get the fuck out and start a new nation and shit cause they couldn’t tolerate people who put the letter “u” into the word color and call cookies fucking BISCUTS, the British cant even see straight with their crossed-ass eyes and their messed up teeth and EVERYTIME they take a bite atleast 8 of their teeth on their crooked-ass jaws are shoved into their tongues and the top of their worthless ass bitchass motherfucking mouths and then, with a mouth full of blood, they’ll say “OH HOW FUCKING SCRUMPTIOUS” like shut the fuck up bitch no one wants to hear your accent that sounds worse than motherfucking nails on a chalkboard. Just. SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Lameass wankers.
February 2021

British People

Hello! My name is Reynad!

twitch chat
November 2014
Reynad

Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky?

twitchquotes: (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Alright students, how often is Kripp lucky? ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Call on me! (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Yes little Dong? ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ Kripp is never lucky, sir! (⌐ ͡▢ ͜ʖ ͡▢) Wrong, Kripp is lucky a reasonable amount of time. Come see me after class for your punishment . ʕ⌐ ͡▢ ͜ᴥ ͡▢ʔ
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

YOU TOOK MY FORTNITE CARD

YOU’RE 🌥️ SO SUSSY 😓😓🙊😨😳🎵 I 😀 KNOW 💭 YOU 👈 TOOK 👫 MY 😏 FORTNITE 🎮 CARD 🃏🃏 I 🍾 KNOW 🤔 YOU 🤖 TOOK 🤯 MY 😘 19 ❗ DOLLAR 💲 FORTNITE 💩 CARD 💳 GIVE 🚪🌌🍸 ME 👈 MY 👨😣 19 ❗ DOLLAR 💰 FORTNITE 💩 CARD 💳😑 YOU 👈😭 BETTER 🎰 GIVE 👹 ME 👩💡 MY 🥳 19 ❗ DOLLAR 💸 FORTNITE 👌🎮 CARD 🗃 I 👹 NEED 📲 MY 🔑 19 ♈ DOLLAR 💵 FORTNITE 👌🎮 CARD, 💳 NOW! 📅
May 2021

Fortnite

BBoomer

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣙⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡠⡀⠨⣱⢴⡒⠚⠉⢍⣉⣃⡡⠊⠄⠇⠄⣞⣛⣶⡂⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠒⣪⢷⠯⣿⢗⠇⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⠈⠘⠳⢟⣽⠍⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⢠⠷⠚⠥⠊⠄⠄⠄⣀⣁⣀⣀⠄⠄⠑⠢⠄⠄⠘⠆⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⡏⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠁⢀⡀⠈⠉⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠲⢸⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠤⠔⠒⠉⠉⠈⠉⠓⠢⠤⠤⠤⠤⠤⢸⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡞⠄⠄⠄⡀⢤⣠⣄⣤⣠⢄⠄⠄⢠⡠⠤⣤⡤⠴⠦⢾⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠞⠄⠄⢚⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠏⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⢰⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃ ⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠄⠙⠿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠁⠶⠂⠄⢬⡻⣿⣿⡿⠿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⡼⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⢩⢻⣛⡛⠛⢛⣉⣉⣭⡭⡈⠁⢠⠃⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢸⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠏⠄⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⢀⡬⠚⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⢀⢀⠄⢐⣒⣲⣴⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠙⣯⣶⠗⠟⠙⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
March 2020
Text-to-Speech Playing