[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Stimulus hopes in the year is 2025

The year is 2025. House speaker Nancy pelosi's brain jar has agreed with Mitch McConnell's new human skinbody to vote on the $12 covid stimulus package. This is the 37th revision to the package initially introduced in late 2020. One dollar will be split between all americans, two between all illegal immigrants, and the rest to Jeff bezos. Due to stimulus hopes, SPY has rallied to 600.
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Now my mom calls us sussy bakas

My 12 year old little sister called my older sister it yesterday. And my mom heard and asked what it meant. Little sister said it’s something cute to call someone as a cover up. Now my mom calls us sussy bakas. Someone kill me.
June 2021

Scary WutFace

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣵⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣠⣄⡀⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⡾⠋⠉⠉⠉⠩⢛⢿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠙⢶⣆⠄⠄⠹⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣼⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠁⢻⣿⣿⡠⠦⠄⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿ ⣿⡿⠛⡁⠾⠹⠁⠄⠄⣴⡾⣿⣿⠄⠄⠸⢋⣭⠻⣶⠞⠛⠛⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠘⣿ ⣿⠄⠰⣿⡆⡀⠄⠄⢘⢿⣿⣿⠋⠄⠠⣰⠄⠉⢀⣧⠐⠷⠄⣸⣶⣿⡏⠄⠄⠛ ⣿⠄⢠⣤⣷⣧⡢⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣴⡿⢷⠖⢉⡉⠳⡖⣊⡉⠻⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣥⣤⣄⣠⣤⡊⠁⢀⣼⣄⠈⠋⣠⣇⠘⠘⢀⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣟⢸⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣍⠉⠉⠉⠛⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣾⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣇⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⠿⠟⢡⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀ ⠃⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢆⣀⠝⠛⡟⢻⠛⢟⢫⣁⠦⠄⣾⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿ ⡀⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣆⣀⣀⡈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⣀⣼⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣾⣿ ⣧⡀⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⡆⠤⣤⣼⣿⣿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⡀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⢀⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⡄⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠁⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣴⣾
October 2019

So I’m an AMC shareholder

So I’m an AMC shareholder, which means I own some of the business. Because the stock kept getting halted today I decided to go to my local AMC and support the stock by buying some concessions. I went up to the stand and told the casher (his nametag said Melvin) that I was a shareholder and wanted to support the business. He looked excited and told me to close my eyes and hold out my hand for a surprise shareholder treat. I can’t believe it, but he just covered my hands in liquid butter! Now I’m typing this at home and cant get it off my hands, and my keyboard is all greasy typing this, What do I do?
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Moonmoon can’t beat a box of oatmeal

twitchquotes: This is fucking sad honestly. This man has been playing this game for hours on end , trying to memorize each and every attack and move. He has died over 1000 times to a box of oatmeal and hasn’t even gotten close to beating it. He comes up with an excuse for every death his chatroom watching him is even trying to give him energy “ GivePLZ TAKE ME ENERGYTakeNRG “ and give him tips which he ignores.Yet he still can’t beat a box of oatmeal how pathetic.
twitch chat
September 2017
MOONMOON
Text-to-Speech Playing