[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
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Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

forsenBoys

⣿⣿⣿⡇⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠹⠟⣩⣭⣤⣬⣍⡻⠁⣤⡄⢤⣤⣬⣉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣈⢿⠄⠄⠤⠤⢠⣿⡿⣩⣤⣍⢻⡷⡀⣿⡇⠠⠬⢹⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣷⣯⠺⠿⠿⠿⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⢈⣬⡃⣶⡇⣶⣶⣾⡟⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⡌⢷⣶⣌⠛⢩⣼⡿⠁⠽⡇⢰⣦⠐⣉⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⣃⣘⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣍⣋⣐⣛⣋⣴⣀⣀⣀⣻⣿⣄⣋⣁⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⢩⣴⣶⢰⣶⣬⠁⣤⣦⣶⣶⣶⣶⢀⣶⣦⠹⣿⢰⣶⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡇⢺⣿⣐⣒⠘⠛⠂⠈⢻⢐⣒⡒⡒⢘⠊⠻⢇⠹⢨⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡷⠆⠙⠫⠻⠿⡑⠄⣉⡣⠙⠛⠋⠂⢸⣽⡇⠹⣷⠘⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⡧⢌⠉⣀⠃⠂⠽⠇⠈⠉⡉⣉⢸⣿⡇⣦⠹⣷⡜⠂⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣈⣀⣀⣀⣠⣆⣀⣀⣀⣈⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣧⣀⣈⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡇⣶⡆⣶⣶⡶⣦⠙⠟⣩⣴⣶⢰⣦⣍⡙⡐⣶⣦⢀⣶⡶⠄⣡⣶⠶⣶⣦⣍⢻ ⡇⣿⡇⣐⡒⣨⡾⠃⢰⣿⢋⣤⣦⡘⡿⠷⢰⠸⢇⡼⣿⢡⠄⣿⣇⣐⠂⠘⢛⣸ ⡇⡿⠁⢛⣛⠻⠶⠄⠸⠍⠸⣿⣿⡇⣰⣻⢰⠇⣾⡌⢀⣾⠷⠌⠙⡓⠛⠿⠤⠙ ⡇⢤⡅⡈⣉⣀⡈⠁⡀⢻⢧⢈⢋⣴⡴⠏⡌⣸⣾⠇⣼⣿⠄⢶⣦⠉⢉⡈⠄⢀ ⣧⣈⣁⣈⣀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣦⣤⣀⣈⣤⣴⣾⣄⣀⣠⣼⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣄⣈⣠⣴⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

Things are looking up for me (and down for you)

twitchquotes: I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

Alien through telescope

twitchquotes: AlienPls ⠀ ゚⠀*⠀ 。⠀ ⠀゚⠀。 ⠀ ⠀⠀ ☆⠀ ⠀★⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ・゚⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ 。・⠀⠀⠀゚⠀⠀。⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ★⠀ ⠀ ・・⠀⠀ ⠀ ∴⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ゚⠀ ⠀ ⠀ *⠀゚⠀⠀⠀★⠀⠀⠀ 。・⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I CANT BELIEVE MY EYES 🔭 OMEGALUL 󠀀 󠀀
twitch chat
October 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing