[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
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You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders

You toss and turn as Elon gently rubs your shoulders. "You seem a little tense" says Elon, as you look at your bank account. Your phone shows $107 left to your name. You think to yourself while Elon rubs you down, you pull open Robin Hood, type in TSLA. Leaps $900 JAN 2023' are only $1 you can afford 1 leap. This is finally your chance to get rich, you'll be able to actually buy a Tesla. You ask Elon what the next Tesla will be. He says "U, for 'you'" as he smiles sweetly. You picture him dancing on stage explaining U S3XY to everyone multiple times as you smile back at him. All of a sudden Elon flips on the TV to CNBC to catch the tail end of Jim Cramer, you see a new law has been passed, "we believe options have inflated the markets into a bubble, we will be imposing a new rule next week only allowing accounts that qualify for day trades to also purchase options with a $25,000 barrier to entry." You start weeping aloud, you feel a caring hand wipe your tear away, it's Elon again, "what's wrong my little X'โˆšฯ€3?" Suddenly you wake, you're in a pool of sweat, at first you panic about the new options policy, then you're filled with relief realizing that options aren't restricted it was all a dream. You realize this was actually a vision to earn 200,000% gains to buy a TSLA leap. You log into RH, it welcomes you with your $107 balance, you plug in TSLA yolo 2023 @ $900 and realize the options are actually $20 each. The best you can do is $900 TSLA weekly expiring around Christmas. In a slight fit of despair you try to remember the feeling of Elon rubbing your cheek, and rub one out onto your stomach, then roll over back to sleep. A single tear rolls from your eye into your waifu pillow. YOLO you whisper.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

DAILY QUEST SPAM THIS 50 TIMES

twitchquotes: โ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌDAILYโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € KEKW SPAM THIS 50 TIMES KEKW โ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌQUESTโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌโ–ฌ
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November 2020

Hey subs, thanks for paying for my free entertainment

twitchquotes: ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎHey subs, thanks for paying for my free entertainment ( ยฐ อœส–อกยฐ)โ•ญโˆฉโ•ฎ
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May 2017

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Only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans

twitchquotes: PJSalt __ PJSalt only the saltiest EU fan can hold both cans โŽ Kappa โŽ 
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May 2016
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Jumping Mario

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–“โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
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November 2014
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