[Copypasta] She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
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April 2021

Parody names for the ACDC song Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

Atrocious Acts Accomplished at Affordable Rates Barbaric Business Bartered at Bargain Costs Contemptible Coups Carried out at Cut Rates Dastardly Doings Dealt at Discounted Payments Evil Endeavors Enacted at Extraordinary Deals Filthy Feats Furnished through Fair Expenses Gross Games Garnished through Good Contracts Heinous Hooliganism Haggled to Humble Budget Immoral Incidents Issued at Inconsequential Fees Jarring Jobs Judged Justly Priced Kriminal Kapers Kompleted at Kompetitive Prices Licentious Larceny Licensed at Low Tariffs Malicious Missions Made with Minimal Resources Nefarious Notions Negotiated at Negligible Charges Ominous Operations Outsourced at Optimal Prices Perilous Performances Priced at Pocket Change Questionable Quests Quarried at Quackpot Terms Rambunctious Rackets Realized at Reduced Figures Sinister Shenanigans Supplied at Satisfactory Pay Thuggish Things Terminated at Trivial Fees Unscrupulous Undertakings Unleashed at Unusual Discount Villanous Ventures Valued at Vexing Costs. Wicked Work Waged at Wee Fares Xecrable Xploits Xecuted Xtremely Inexpensively Yucky Yerks Yielded as Year-End Sales Zany Zinging Zoned for Zero Markup
August 2021

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?"

A teacher asked the class, "what is SEX?" Johnny got up and said, "Sex is a TEMPTATION which causes a SENSATION when a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl's DESTINATION which increases the POPULATION for the next GENERATION. Do you get my EXPLANATION? or do you need a DEMONSTRATION?" The teacher fainted.
April 2021

I hate April Fool's Day

I’m fucking shaking and crying right now y’all, and people aren’t taking me seriously. This is a DUMB FUCKING HOLIDAY, where people say shit that ISN’T FUCKING REAL for NO REASON. I’ve cut off 8 family members already for falling for this shriveled up, half-assed ANNUAL CORPORATE FIG LEAF like the NPC SHEEP THEY ARE. Maybe if they listened to REAL COMEDY like Bill Maher or political satire that validates what I already believe in, they’d be WORTHY OF INTERACTING WITH. BUT NO, I have to scroll through my timeline, seething, wailing and gnashing my teeth as I’m BOMBARDED BY LOW EFFORT CORNY CAPITALIST PROPOGANDA. THIS IS A SERIOUS DAY. I’m allowed to be this pressed about ha-ha corny joke day because IT’S SERIOUS FOR ME AND THEREFORE SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE. My great uncle was tragically flattened while trying to rob a coca-cola vending machine on this date, and PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING CORNU FUKUNG JOKES. I’ve had enough
April 2021

EU calls NA

twitchquotes: 📞 4Head HELLO NA? 📞 4Head EU HERE 📞 4Head ARE YOU GOING TO GET OUT OF GROUPS THIS YEAR?? 📞 4Head
twitch chat
September 2020
LCS

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing