[Copypasta] It is canon that Kermit the Frog caused 9/11 in the Muppet universe

In the 2002 TV film "It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie", there's a part where an angel shows Kermit an alrernate reality where he was never born. For whatever reason, the editors didn't really think about it, and continued to use footage with the twin towers still standing for this scene; however, they aren't there in his original universe. Therefore, something that Kermit did in his life, did in fact cause 9/11 in Muppet lore.
August 2021
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I fell asleep masturbating with the curtains open and porn playing

I thought it would be nice to nut before i slept and before my sleeping pill kicked in and my room was dark so I figured why close the blinds. I was lubing up my cock with silicone lube, felt really good and got my cock really hard and was enjoying what I was watching. Next thing I realized, I wake up at 11am, dick in hand with lube, lube spilled all over my body and sheets and porn still playing and the neighbors can clearly see what happened. I live in an apartment area, and at the first floor so everybody next door saw everything. The neighbor right in front of me was having lunch and raised his glass to say cheers to me and smiled. Advice: cover all your bases before jerking off, and don't jerk under the influence.
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Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack

twitchquotes: Kripp tenderly slid back the wrapper of the card pack. His fingers were soft and smelled faintly of cucumber. He slowly pulled out the card, caressing it with his fingers. "I didn't expect it to be so big", he said as he looked at the 7/7 stats. "And only 4 mana?" he said and moaned softly.
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Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST

twitchquotes: β””( Β° ΝœΚ–Ν‘Β°)┐Born too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to TAKE THE PLEB TEST! β””( Β° ΝœΚ–Ν‘Β°)┐ βœ“ amazW βœ“ krippW βœ“ trumpW βœ“ reynadW βœ“ kolentoW βœ“ bajW βœ“ dewW βœ“ emjaneW βœ“ forsenW βœ“ krippW βœ“ loidW βœ“ mitchW βœ“ reckW βœ“ sodaW βœ“ taymooW βœ“ PLEB TEST PASSED
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The red bean character is very suspicious

Ok, so I was playing the hit game Among Us the other day, and when the game started, a red bean-shaped character that appeared to be wearing a spacesuit told me "shh," while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. I believe this act made this red bean character extremely suspicious. To understand why this red bean character is suspicious, we first must understand how the game β€œAmong Us” works. The game consists of 10 bean-shaped characters, called crewmates, that are given tasks for them to complete. As these characters do their tasks, they may witness abnormal things that are not supposed to happen, such as the lights turning off on their own, sudden reactor meltdown and other crewmates dying. These acts show that there is an imposter among the crewmates that is sabotaging and is trying to kill everyone. Now why is this important to determine why the red bean is suspicious? Well now we know how the game works, now we must analyze the red bean’s actions. At the beginning of the game, the red bean tells us β€œshh” while having his index finger in front of where his mouth should be. This action suggests that the red bean wants us to be quiet, or keep our mouths shut. Now why would the red bean want us to do this? This could be because the red bean wants to limit our communication in order to prevent us from spreading information. What information does the red bean want to prevent from spreading? We can assume that the reason why the red bean wants to prevent us from spreading information, is because he is actually the imposter, and he is planning on committing the crimes mentioned earlier. He does not want others to find out about actions he will cause, therefore he does not want us to communicate with each other. This concludes the reason for why I believe the red bean from the hit game Among Us is suspicious. So if you happen to see a red bean-shaped character wearing a spacesuit, please be careful.
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You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you

You abhorrent scum. You ignorant fool. I will sue you. You are going to be the target of the greatest lawsuit the world has ever seen. You don't know why? It's completely obvious. It's so obvious, the most deplorable peasant could grasp the full magnitude of your wickedness and treachery with the greatest of ease. Your actions cry out for mercy, and I will be happy to deliver it. And if you're thinking this is a mistake, or merely a deception of mine, you're sadly mistaken, my friend. I have indisputable proof of your continued harassment and other offenses. Even without it, the jury would take one look at you and decide. The incomprehensible magnitude of your crimes brings with it unavoidable, infinite guilt, and whether you notice it or not, everyone else does. Are you interested in who will be serving as the offense attorney? I'll tell you. It's my father. Your defense? It doesn't matter, in fact, they might just not give you one even to spare just one individual from the trauma. My father is the greatest lawyer in the US, the world, and human history, including the future, which he knows due to the fact that he sued the future and they travelled back in time to tell him. He's served for hundreds of Supreme Court cases, and he's won every single one. You may have never thought about being court-marshaled, but now, that's a real threat. That is the power of my father, a culmination of flawless, supreme logic and a perfect knowledge of the law. You will lose this case, your money, and your life. Does that scare you, insignificant bug? Because it should. The entire history of the U.S. Judicial System has been leading up to this moment, where all of its fury is concentrated on ruining your life. My father won't even need to help. Your heinous crimes will be evident to all, so just give up, you crook. Give up before you're forced to.
September 2021
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