[Copypasta] Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Foreign volunteers in Ukraine (variation of original chicken nuggets copypasta)

Holy shit. My commanding officer came into my barracks to bring me an MRE and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of rations out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me in Ukrainian which I didn't understand and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my superior officer but I'm literally in shock from the cruise missile strike. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is Zelenskyy losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt that nato won't impose a no fly zone. I want a future to believe in. I want Zelenskyy to be president of a united Ukraine and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought we had anti air coverage in western Ukraine???? This is so fucked.
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

I, a god-level CoD player, could join the military

Ok. Listen up bud. You’re a kid, and you’re getting cocky. You snuck in a few good quick scopes and got a few points ahead of me, but you have no chance. I am a Call of Duty god. I would be killing terrorists in Iraq if it weren’t for the fact that I would punch the drill sergeant in the face if he even looked at me funny. So don’t get cocky, bud. Or just like my kill/death ratio, you’re going down, kid. As soon as I finish the campaign I’m tracking your IP, hunting you down and beating the crap out of you. You’ve been warned.
February 2021

Among us crewmate running ass

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⠟⠛⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢙⣨⣥⣶⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣅⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⢀⡴⠟⠋⢉⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠉⠻⣿⣧⡈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠁⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⢻⣿⣇⠝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⡀⣼⡿⠟⠀⠙⣛⣬⠱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢀⠄⠁⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⡆⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣀⠙⣛⣛⣻⠛⠋⣉⣢⣤⣾⠃⣰⡄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣤⢹⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠸⣷⠀⢻⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠡⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠻⠇⢈⠁⠀⠀⠲⠠⠞⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⢤⠀⠀⢲⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡉⣻⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣳⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠐⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⡇⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣀⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⢃⡿⠿⠛⡋⣀⣾⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⢁⣠⣿⡦⠐⠀⢈⡙⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢃⣤⣤⡀⠻⣿⣇⣠⣴⡿⠄⠹⣧⡸⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⢠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠈⢿⡿⠋⣠⣤⣀⠈⣡⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠅⣀⣈⠁⣰⣿⣿⡿⠋⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣵⣂⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣄⠘⢿⣿⣿⠟⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣬⣅⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player

twitchquotes: SMOrc Dear Hunter in chat, you are smart player. Whatever is going on in your laddering right now, please know that you go face and you only ever go face. You are skilled. SMOrc
twitch chat
September 2015
strifecro

Hearthstone

European Union's copyright law

twitchquotes: 𝑇ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑢𝑒 𝑡𝑜 𝐸𝑢𝑟𝑜𝑝𝑒𝑎𝑛 𝑈𝑛𝑖𝑜𝑛’𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑝𝑦𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡 𝑙𝑎𝑤.
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing