[Copypasta] Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
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More Copypastas

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Ben Brode and Tyrande

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Tyrande's soft dirty blue hair. "If I do this, will you make Elune great again?" Tyrande asks as she starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Tyrande prepares her Cockbiter Weapon. She nods as Ben Brode takes out his 4 mana 7/7 and slams it into Tyrande's 0/5 tightwell. "BY ELUNE'S GRACE"! Tyrande screams. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Tyrande's face..
twitch chat
October 2016

Hearthstone

I encountered a racist homophobic dreamphobe today.

I joined a discord server yesterday. My discord status was: "πŸ’š please give me your cum daddy dream! i want to fuck that smiley face of yours πŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺπŸ˜ͺ". I am a dreamgender, and I support Dream and will continue to support him until I am out of cum. Anyways, back to the story. Now, this fucking stupid mod DMs (Dream Messages) me. What does he says? He says the following. "Your discord status is against our server rules, please remove or change your status. If you do not do this, we will have to ban/kick you." Then, I immediately told the moderator that I am a 13 dreamgender girl. He didn't give a shit. I thought ALL moderators could get seduced. That was a fucking lie. Ugh! Anyways, we started arguing about how my status is extremely SFW and wholesome (i am obviously right.) I told him that i anted to speak with the manager. So, he created a group chat with me, the owner, and himself. I explained him the situation, how the moderator was a racist pedophile dreamphobe homophobe and a groomer. The owner did NOT believe me; a fellow Dreamgender person. I was so mad that I punched my dream themed computer so hard. Then, I realized what i had done. I punched my daddy dream monitor. I immediately DMd dream about this on twitter. I wrote a 20000 word apology to him. I was so depressed after my daddy dream monitor was gone. Then, I logged to Discord on my dream themed phone. I could not believe what had happened. I got a DM from MEE6 saying that I got banned for the reason "inappropriate status". I was so mad. I immediately DM'd the owner about this. He didn't care, and he had the audacity to block a fellow DREAMGENDER person. I could not believe it. How could someone be this racist and dreamphobic? I cried myself to sleep that night and decided that I should go to therapy. Please tell me, r/dreamgender! What should I do about this? I already called the entire swat team on this discord moderator after he said that "Dream sucks", but it seemed like the swat did not care at all! Please, dream community. Let's get together and end this moderator's life! R/DREAMGENDER, ASSEMBLE! πŸ’šπŸ€πŸ–€πŸ’šπŸ–€πŸ€πŸ–€πŸ€πŸ–€πŸ€
June 2021

Dreamgender

Discord

I do not give a shit i simp for pokimane

I do not give a shit i simp for pokimane and I'm a tier 3 sub fuck all those amateur's i wanna smell those pretty feet of yours pokimane you know when i was a little boy i used to slap girls ass when i was young and some of them liked it some of them didn't well guess what i wanna do that to pokimane and make her moan "daddy harder" but heh listen i have way more dirtier plans for pokimane heh i bought every single merchandise pokimane has you know i've come soo far don't mess it up you pussy's ok! I will continue to simp i will continue to slap girl's asses and i don't care if it's sexual assault i WILL DO IT. And i could do it to boys too heh well that's it you understand the whole reason why am writing this.
February 2022
Pokimane

Simps

Being a hentai actress must be so weird

Being a hentai actress must be so weird. Imagine this: you’re in a soundproof room pleasurably screaming into an 800,000Β₯ microphone about how much you love old man dick at 10:47 AM on a Tuesday in October while your 45-year-old boss oversees you through a glass window from the other room. You eventually look up after 2 hours of practicing your unnaturally high-pitched moans and see him give you a big thumbs up as you pretend to have an orgasm.
February 2021

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing