[Copypasta] Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
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Jerry (Tom and Jerry)

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“ 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β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–’β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘ β–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–“β–“β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆ β–’β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–ˆ β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’ β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–ˆβ–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–“β–ˆβ–“β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
September 2021

She sells seashells on a seashore, but the value of these shells will fall

She sells seashells on a seashore But the value of these shells will fall Due to the laws of supply and demand No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high until they're rarer than a diamond Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em Hit 'em like Bronson Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly ""Shells must sell"", that will be your new philosophy Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well! Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore And you sell seashells on the seashore.
August 2021

Hey, I noticed you were a female

Hello, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this goddess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here in the Pakistan Official discord. I am quite popular around here in this server, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I am a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers... So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2.. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together some time. I see you play mini games? I am a mini-game aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that. I look forward to our future together (as friends of course.)
May 2021

Simps

This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat

twitchquotes: This is exactly why I hate Twitch chat (Kripp specifically). This chat is pure, unadulterated, 100% stupidity. Nobody has a single unique, new thought, all spouting the latest meme after meme, that aren't even good. THIS is why I'm turning off chat and will just watch the professional gameplay. And I swear to god, if any of you copy and paste this, I'm deleting my account forever.
twitch chat
November 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

Kindred

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January 2021

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing