[Copypasta] Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it?

Hey, vsauce, Micheal here! Why is my peepee hard? Or is it? Well, ya see, we need to start with the peepee itself. The hardening of the peepee is called an erection. Erection. The term itself shares a similarity with our own predecessors, Homo Erectus. That's Latin for Gay Straight. So, naturally, we can start to fill in the picture. Our predecessors, Gay Straights, also had hard peepees. Which brings us back to modern day erections. You see, an erection is a signal to tell you that you are gay, a leftover device from the era of Gay Straights. But what is "gay"? To quote Nelson Mandela, "To be gay is not to love others. It is to love yourself and to stay true in the face of many hardships and hard dicks." In Layman's terms, Nelson Mandela is trying to tell us to go fuck ourselves. This is vital to know because it puts into perspective the absolute size of gayness itself, divided into unique homogenous subgroups. Such a diverse range is exactly why the flag of LGBTQBBQ communities is a rainbow. But, you ask, how does this tie in to what gay Is? I'm getting there. Gay is a slang term for homosexual, which is to have sexual interest in someone of the same gender as yourself. To see more on the topic of gender, click the annotation on my face now for a playlist of videos specifically on the subject. So, to answer your question, your peepee is hard because you're gay. Hopefully today's little snippet was a good brain train for you. If you'd like to find other fun ways to test your mind mettle, click the annotation up here to go see some of my huge DONGs. And, as always, thanks for watching.
August 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Globglogabgalab

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⑿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⑇⠀⠀⠀⠠⑄⒠⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⒀⣰⣿⒑⣢⣼⣿⑿⠋⠙⑇⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓓ⑏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β ˜β£Ώβ£‡β’‹β €β’»β‘Ÿβ β »β£‡β ƒβ €β €β €β €β ˆβ β €β£Ÿβ£›β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£Ύβ£Ώβ ›β ›β£Άβ£Ύβ£ β£…β£€β£½β €β €β €β €β €β’ β‘„β €β£―β£­β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β£΄β£Ώβ£¦β’ β£Ώβ‘Ÿβ €β ˆβ ‰β β €β €β €β €β €β£Ύβ£»β‘€β €β €β €β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β’€β£Ύβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘Ÿβ£Ώβ‘Ώβ β €β’Άβ£·β €β €β €β €β €β ˆβ β ˆβ β’€β‘€β£„β € β €β €β €β €β €β €β£Ίβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ£·β£„β €β‘€β£ β£Ώβ£Ώβ €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β €β’ˆβ‘“β£¦β € β €β β ‹β ›β ‰β ™β£Ώβ£Ώβ£―β‘‰β ‰β ™β ³β’Ώβ£Ώβ£Ώβ‘β €β €β €β €β €β €β ‰β‘β β ˆβ ‰β β € ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Ⓙ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣢⣢⣾⣿⑿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠇⠀
September 2021

DickButt

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–€β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–„β–‘β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘
August 2015

LGBTQQIP2SAA+ should have another S for straight people

As you may be aware, LGBTQQIP2SAAA is an all inclusive acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning, Queer, Intersex, Pansexual, Two-Spirit (2S), Androgynous, Asexual and Allies. However, this is not all inclusive at all because it omits an S for Straight people like me. And before you say "Ally covers straight people", please know that I can't be an ally because I hate gays. I'm straight and I don't agree with any of this, but I should be a part of the rainbow
June 2021

You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” imGlitch You have been gifted the Golden Kappa!β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
January 2017

Classic

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Text-to-Speech Playing