[Copypasta] Learn to spell you fucking idiot

It's 'forget' not 'forgor'. It's 'remember' not 'rember'. How many fucking times do I have to tell you this? Go to a fucking school and learn how to spell you dumbass. Seriously, these 'forgor' and 'rember' things are NOT funny and will make you look like a loser.
August 2021
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I used to work at an abortion clinic

I used to work at an abortion clinic and I saw some extremely fucked up shit there which is why I'm so anti-abortion now. This is just SOME of the horrible stuff I personally witnessed: • ⁠A 23 year old woman came in 11 months into her pregnancy and said "I don't want my stupid baby anymore, kill it" and the doctor said "okay" and he put jumper cables up her baby hole and connected them to a car battery and let it run for six days straight • ⁠A little 8-year old girl wandered in and said "I want an abortion but I am not pregnant" and the doctor said "we'll fix that" and he stole a baby and cut the girl open and put the baby inside her and sewed her shut and then woke the girl up and said "congratulations it's a healthy six year old boy" and the girl said "can I keep him" and the doctor said no and then backed over her in the parking lot with his brand new Ford Raptor • ⁠They made me sign an agreement promising to stop drinking from the medical waste container (I signed somebody else's name) • ⁠One of the doctors there developed a futuristic ray gun that could make anything he shot have an abortion, even trees, cars, or barns • ⁠The receptionist threw nail polish at an elderly man • ⁠The doctor's assistant invented this thing she called "the silly slide" and it was a really fun little water slide that connected a woman's vagina to a paper shredder so a newborn baby could briefly "enjoy the high life" • ⁠The oldest child we aborted was in his late 70s, we didn't even know he was a baby until his wife brought in photos • ⁠The doctors put all sorts of crap up a woman's uterus including a clown nose, bicycle handlebars, a calendar, and an entire Sears retail outlet (before bankruptcy) • ⁠During every successful abortion, the doctor would shout "take that, baby" and he'd push a red button that made sirens go off and confetti fell from the ceiling and we'd all get Del Taco for free
August 2021

NSFW

I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay

Recently, I’ve been wondering if I might be a gay. It all started a week ago. I was sitting on the toilet, pooping, when all of a sudden, a big shit turd comes out of my ass. It was huge. Big big. It’s so fucking big, I gotta look down into the toilet to check for blood. No blood, but the turd is fucking massive. I notice something strange about it. The end of the turd, sticking out of the water, looks like a dick head. A penis head. Needless to say, I was concerned. How could this be? I picked it up from the water, and put it back up my ass. To my surprise, it felt good. I then shit it back into the water. Splash. I then repeated this a few more times, moaning out “Oscar Winning actor Anthony Hopkins” each time. I am not sure if I am now gay. My boyfriend says it’s completely normal, but he’s gay, so I can’t trust him.
May 2021

i cannot support a stoner kripp

twitchquotes: wow. i cannot support a stoner kripp. i have given thousands of my hard earned money to you but i cannot sit idly by and let you use your platform to promote the devil's lettuce.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter?

Yeah I read that too. Are you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Is that your thing? You come into a thread, you copy some obscure passage and then paste it off as your own idea just to impress some of your "crew" and downvote my friend? See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life One, you are a talentless and unoriginal hack. And two, you wasted time trying to post other people's thoughts as your own while you could've been honing your skills to be actually creative instead of a thoughtless loser with a paste fetish.
August 2021

I meet Nigerian Princess on Internet

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp. You say you welly unlucky last few days. I've been unlucky last few years. But ever since i start watch your stream last week my luck improve. I meet nigerian princess on internet who promise me 100 billion usd and a full golden Ragnaros
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing