[Copypasta] Dear women who post nudes on reddit.

Stop with the fucking " I bet you'll never guess what's under my dress.." It's tits. It's always fucking tits. This is no mystery to anyone, and human anatomy has been the same for over 100k years. Seriously, shut the fuck up. You all do this. Do you really think your tits and asshole are so special that they're going to shift our collective consciousness or something? "I bet the guys at the gym wonder what's under my yoga pants." I bet they already know, and if they fucking don't, maybe you shouldn't be at a kid gym for 4 year olds.
July 2021
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Fiddle this, Fiddle that...

twitchquotes: Fiddle this, Fiddle that... For fucks sake chat you do this every time a new champion comes out. Everybody says they are too weak and need buffs. Michael is the ONLY one who goes against the grain to show you that indeed the 27% winrate is a myth and will demonstrate that perfectly clearly how it should be closer to 10%...
twitch chat
April 2020
imaqtpie

League of Legends

SCP logo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣴⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⡄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢋⣵⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣩⣤⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣬⣙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡍⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢹⠃⣠⣾⣿⣿⡿⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠈⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡙⣿⣿⣿⢦⡀⢣⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⡿⠀⡯⠊⣡⣿⣿⠏⣴⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣀⣤⣤⠀⣤⣤⡀⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣌⢻⣿⣧⡉⠺⡄⢸⠹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⢷⠀⡠⢺⣿⣿⡏⣰⣿⣿⡟⠁⣠⣾⣿⣿⠿⠀⠿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠘⣿⣿⣿⡄⣿⣿⣯⠢⡀⢸⠀⢹⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⢸⠊⣠⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣹⣿⣿⣦⠈⢺⠀⢸⣿ ⣿⠹⡆⠀⣴⢻⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⡇⢈⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⠳⡀⢀⡇⢸ ⣿⡀⠹⣸⠉⣿⣿⡿⢋⣠⣿⣿⣿⡀⠸⠟⢋⣀⢠⣾⣿⣷⡀⣀⡙⠻⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣈⠻⣿⣿⡄⠹⡜⠀⣸ ⣿⢧⠀⠇⢠⣿⣿⣷⡘⣿⣿⣿⣟⣁⡀⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠀⣠⣉⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⣿⡿⢧⠀⠁⣰⢿ ⣿⡌⢷⡄⣾⠀⣿⣿⣷⡜⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠈⠉⠛⠛⠛⠉⢁⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣰⣿⣿⡇⢸⢀⡴⠃⣼ ⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⠀⣿⢿⣿⣿⣌⠿⠟⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠿⠟⣼⣿⡿⢫⠃⢸⠋⢀⣼⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣶⣄⡀⢸⡀⢻⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣶⣍⣙⠛⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣋⣥⣶⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⠁⣸⢀⣴⣶⣯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠾⣧⠀⢯⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⠃⢠⢷⣛⣉⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣁⡈⢧⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⢋⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣉⠉⠉⠉⣀⣀⡭⠟⠛⢛⣛⠛⠛⠛⣛⠛⠛⠩⣥⣀⣈⢁⢀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣝⡛⢉⣁⣀⣤⠖⣫⣴⣿⣿⣷⣬⡙⣦⣤⣀⡈⣉⣩⣯⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
January 2021

Unrealized losses

She runs her hand through your thinning hair and laughs. “What?” you ask absentmindedly. You’re looking at Futures, and you’re surprised to see them red. “I want you to play with me.” She says it playfully, but the single ounce of you that isn’t totally aloof realizes she said this in earnest. And so you do. You throw your phone, and you pin her to the sofa, then the ground. You both roll about, wrestling, like lion cubs. Kissing, lightly biting. Sometime later, you both stop, breathing hard. She grabs an open bottle of red wine, and you pass it back and forth. Eventually she says, “I want to do that more.” But you’ve already found your phone again to check Futures. Still red. “Uh huh,” you say, distracted. She stares at you for a long moment, but you don’t realize it. Silently, she gets up and goes to bed, and you don’t say a word because you don’t notice. She hasn’t left you yet, but she will soon. Unrealized losses.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

That hunk of a man is an E-sports athlete?

twitchquotes: That hunk of a man, [insert Cyber sportsman here], is an E-sports athlete? Unbelievable. Kreygasm He could be a Calvin Klein model. Kreygasm Or a pro footballer with a ripped physique like that. Kreygasm That is by far the hottest Cyber sportsman to ever grace the esports industry. Kreygasm
twitch chat
October 2020

Zhong Xina

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠄⠄⢠⣴⣶⣿⣿⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣦⣀⣾⣿⣟⣉⠉⠙⢛⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠚⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣗⣻⣿⣯⣥⣦⠄⣀⣾⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣻⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣾⣷⠶⠆⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠚⣿⣿⡻⠿⠿⠛⠙⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠂⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠿⠛⠉⠁⠁⠄⠄⠄⣻⣿⣿⣧⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠿⢿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⣿⡿⠃⢀⡠⠄⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing