[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
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More Copypastas

Ban one American, get the whole McDonald's

twitchquotes: OpieOP ban OpieOP one OpieOP american OpieOP and OpieOP you OpieOP get OpieOP the OpieOP whole OpieOP mcdonalds OpieOP
twitch chat
April 2017

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Ban X Get The Whole Y

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RIP Hugh Hefner emojipasta

Rosa sat๐ŸšŒ so I could walk๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ MLK walked๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿพ so I could run๐Ÿƒ๐ŸพObama ran๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ so I could fly๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿฆ…๐Ÿฆ… Hugh๐Ÿ‘ด๐Ÿป died๐Ÿ’€โ˜ ๏ธ so I could nut๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ‡๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ’ฆ #RIP
January 2024

Emoji Pasta

I wore a mask at Target today

I wore a mask at Target today. Three of my lungs collapsed as I got carbon monoxide poisoning from breathing in my own bacteria. A brave patriot wearing an Affliction shirt, a MAGA hat, and sweet wrap around sunglasses saved me by giving me CPR. I thanked him and asked if he was a doctor and he said "who needs doctors when we have our fellow Americans, the ones who are here legally I mean." I hugged him and threw my mask on the ground. The Star Spangled Banner played on the speaker system as everyone in the store ripped off their masks and threw them on the ground, chanting "down with communism!" God, Jesus, and all the angels looked down upon us from Heaven and clapped.
June 2020

Coronavirus

COVID

This is the shittiest reply ever Overwatch version

twitchquotes: This is the shittiest reply ever. Overwatch requires camping, booping, stunning, sleeping, hacking, slamming, aimbotting and hitting shots. There are not โ€œpositionsโ€ in Overwatch. A kickers job is LITERALLY to kick. Horrible analogy, kind of embarrassing.
twitch chat
December 2019

Transcript of Will Smith and his wife

Jada: Are you going to let him speak about me like that? Will: What, it was funny, you were terrible in G.I. Jane J: I wasn't in G.I. Jane, Will W: Oh, then why did he say that? J: It was a joke about my hair!! W: Girl, you ain't got no hair J: THATS THE POINT WILL!! W: Ohh. ohhhh. OH Hell No!!
March 2022

Will Smith Slap

Text-to-Speech Playing