[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy

twitchquotes: Honestly, spamming copypastas is the worst form of comedy to exist on this planet. Instead of original jokes, we just have repetitive trash. As a stand up comedian, I spend hours on my craft making sure I make original jokes. I always leave the comedy club with the hottest bros. Maybe you copypasta people can learn something from me.
twitch chat
October 2020

Anime girl 4

⠄⠄⠄⣰⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢰⣿⠿⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠘⣷⡀⠄⠢⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⠖⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣤⢸⣿⣿⣆⠣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣦⡀⠙⢶⣦⣄⡀⠄⡠⠞⠁⢀⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢰⣿⣎⣿⣿⣿⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⢄⡙⠻⠿⠷⠶⠤⢐⣋⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣧⢤⣤⣄⣠⡘⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⠛⠂⠈⠉⠛⢿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⡇⢰⣿⣇⡀⠄⠄⣝⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⡄⠄⠈⠄⣷⢠⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢹⣿⣼⣿⣯⢁⣤⣄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⣴⠶⣲⣵⠟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸ ⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣟⣡⡴⠄⠄⠄⠄⠁ ⠄⠰⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣶⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣿⣯⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣵⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣯⣟⣿⣿⣿⡿⣟⣯⣷⣿⣿⡏⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣞⢸⣿⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018

Weebs

Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss

twitchquotes: Once again, Tides, you suffer another extremely unjust loss. I have no idea why you keep losing game after game, even though you possess superb drafting and world-class champion decision making skills. There’s clearly something not right since you are the best player of Teamfight tactics.
twitch chat
June 2019
TidesOfTime

Teamfight Tactics

Now I have to mod this chat?

twitchquotes: chat, I was in the middle of curling a 75lb dumbbell and climbing into my ferrari when I noticed you guys spamming dogshit in chat. I was about to go hangout with one of my 4 smoking hot gfs and now I have to mod this chat? Pathetic
twitch chat
August 2020

MODS

For people that use "XD"

twitchquotes: But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
February 2019
Text-to-Speech Playing