"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza
The waiter says "Say When", grating the parmesan cheese over my pizza. Foolish mistake. Anyone should know that there is no "when". As parmesan fills the restaurant, the pizza only gets better. After only an hour, the restaurants interior its completely filled with parmesan, killing twenty. But the resuraunt is only the beginning. Next the USA will be taken by parmesan, a force stronger than anyone could have anticipated. After that comes the world. Consider this a warning, to get to a foreign planet immediately. At least that will provide temporary safety, until the parmesan rises to mars. At that point, there will be enough cheese on my pizza, and I will be ready to eat.
Reading 1984
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠤⠤⣄⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣟⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠒⣲⡄
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⡇⡱⠲⢤⣀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀1984⠀⣠⠴⠊⢹⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢻⠓⠀⠉⣥⣀⣠⠞⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡾⣄⠀⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢠⡄⢀⡴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀
⠀⠀⠀⣠⢎⡉⢦⡀⠀⠀⡸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡼⣣⠧⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀
⠀⢀⡔⠁⠀⠙⠢⢭⣢⡚⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣇⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀
⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢫⡉⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢮⠈⡦⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀
⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⣀⡴⠃⠀⡷⡇⢀⡴⠋⠉⠉⠙⠓⠒⠃⠀⠀
⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⡼⠀⣷⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠣⣀⠀⠀⡰⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Patrick Star - I am back
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Kripp
Mario Party Superstars Bowser Miss Sticker
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣵⢟⣽⣿⢰⡝⣍⡻⣿⠟⣙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣊⡛⢍⣪⣥⣟⠗⢏⣼⣿⡟⢱⣮⠙⠛⠉⠠⣄⠀⠀⢧⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⠛⢈⡉⠉⠓⠲⠖⣻⣿⡇⣾⣿⣿⠀⠘⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡃⠀⠘⠋⠀⠀⠶⠆⠈⢫⣎⡞⣩⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣭⣭⣝⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣧⢠⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⡀⠀⢟⡜⠿⣜⠟⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⠇⢀⣀⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⠇⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡟⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡇⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⡆⣠⣶⣿⣿⣷⣮⠻⢛⣋⡵⠀⢆⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣷⡹⣽⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠘⠇⠀⠀⠀⠙⠁⣼⣿⣯⢉⠙⢿⣿⡇⡀⠻⠧⢀⣠⣤⣌⢿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⡿⢫⣮⣙⡻⠿⣿⣿⡏⣾⣿⣦⢄⣴⣶⢦⣄⣴⣶⣿⣿⠧⡀⢀⢸⣿⡇⢁⣬⣾⡸⣿⣿⡎⠀⠙⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣦⡙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣆⣀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢫⣄⠀⢀⢸⣿⡸⢿⣧⠻⡿⣎⠑⠃⢀⣾⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣮⡛⠿⣿⣿⠇⠙⠛⠉⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⢸⣿⡇⠈⠛⠽⠆⠉⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣦⣝⣳⢲⡦⠀⠀⠀⠈⢲⡎⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡗⡹⣂⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⠿⠃⠀⠀⢀⣠⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡛⠿⣿⡷⠏⣅⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣬⣭⣍⢻⡿⣿⣿⠿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⡿⢷⣟⣭⣭⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⡸⡟⡀⢻⡟⢻⡟⣛⣻⡟⣛⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣇⢡⡇⢸⡇⢸⡗⠆⣹⡗⠆⣹⡗⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
When I was 13, I came out to my parents as a Morbius male.
When i was 13, i came out to my parents as a morbius male. They couldnt accept my morbality, so they sent me off to camp. They just didnt understand— i was morbed that way. At the camp, they gave us electromorb therapy to morb us into beta males. I resisted the treatment, being a morbius male, you cant morb me out of being morbed. I fooled the counselors into thinking they had successfully morbed be into a beta male, and i returned home. To this day, i live a double life— one for my parents, who still cannot accept morbality, and one where its always morbin time.