[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Ten reasons why you can't move to Scotland

Tin resins why ye canae move tae Sco'land. Win - We dinnae want ye here Tae - Yer nae hard enough Threh - Ye wouldnae like the wither (and ye wouldne ken hoo tae describ it - dreich, drookit, haar, etc) Fir - Yer a dafty who couldne git intae oor big skels and dinnae ken aboot the Sco'ish Enlightinment Fiv - Yer a big girruls blouse and cannae keep up wi oor drinkin Sex - Yed get snapped in hoff if ye played fitbaw wi us sivvun - Ye coodnae handle the patter It - Wae dinnae wint ye drivin up the hoos prices Nin - Yer pribly a jobbyjabber who likes it it in the backsie Tin - Oor wimmun boke at the sight of ye If somehoo ye dae mit the abuv requirmints then ye can enter but ye must promis to vote fi SNP, the ONLY party that trilly represents Sco'land. Fuck off hame any English cunts.
September 2021

I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election

twitchquotes: I have noticed that, although America has 328.2 million people, I am not receiving 328.2 million votes on my election. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to vote for me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to vote for me. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
twitch chat
November 2020

2020 US Election

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Please say you're sorry

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, I am a 14 year old boy from Canada. I played you today in arena and I won, I was excited to beat a famous player like you! I opened your stream, and I felt bad because you said I played badly and won because of luck. Please say you're sorry or I'll never play Hearthstone again. Please no copy pasterino 10th graderino
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Forsen's mouth: ~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€ ~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€~ KappaPride ~ KappaPride γ€€ γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride γ€€ γ€€γ€€γ€€~ KappaPride
twitch chat
March 2016
Forsen

Classic

KappaPride

WEEB pyramid

VoHiYo only real WEEB can build this perfect pyramid  VoHiYo  VoHiYo . Try like me !Try like me ! Try like me !!  VoHiYo  VoHiYo  VoHiYo And my pyramid still higher!!!!!!  VoHiYo  VoHiYo  VoHiYo  VoHiYo
twitch chat
June 2016

Weebs

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Text-to-Speech Playing