[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you

twitchquotes: Don't feel bad, I'm just better that you. Every morning I wake up and wash my adderall down with GFUELℒ️, I have a python script that uploads my gameplay directly to reddit and I have amassed over 3 million karma. I only have TTV in my name ironically but also I have a stream PogChamp. If my ping were lower I would literally never lose, my 80% headshot percentage (op included) always carries my team. Let's be honest LUL you will probably never be on my level because of my insane natural talent.
twitch chat
August 2020

WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)

β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–‘β–€ β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€ β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€ β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–€β–ˆ β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–€β–€β–€      
April 2021

Among Us / Amogus

This guy's veganism is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ This guy's veganism is CRAZY!” β˜‘ β€œMy vegetables can't win against fruits like that” β˜‘ "He needed PRECISELY those two cucumbers to win" β˜‘ β€œHe bought the only tomato that could beat me” β˜‘ "He had the perfect eggplants β˜‘ β€œThere was nothing I could cook” β˜‘ β€œI ate that perfectly”
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

DrDisrespect C V paste

I get the whole meme thing, right? Like the whole meme, meming thing? But like, to be the person sitting in chat and going "C- uh, c v, paste..." 5 seconds later, "Hehe, c v, paste! Hehe! Oh, I got someone else copying and pasting the same thing that I did so c v, paste again! Paste it, paste it all day! Oh, theres four or five that are pasting the same thing! Hehe, I got- I should start my own website of spammers! C v, copy paste!" Like- I can't imagine.. h- like the brain sitting in that head.
August 2021
DrDisRespectLIVE

Have your heard of the popular hit game among us?

Have your heard of the popular hit game among us? It’s a really cool game where 1-3 imposters try to kill off the crewmates, while the crew has to finish their tasks or vote off the imposters to win. It’s 5 dollars on steam and other consoles but it is free on App Store and Google Play.
July 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing