[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?!

CAN THE MODS OF THIS SUB DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN. SHE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING PEOPLE, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HERSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HER UNMENTIONABLES. SHE IS OFFERING AN IPHONE 11 IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 6 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK WON'T TURN OFF.
November 2021

Reddit

I've won 69 rounds of Fortnite

twitchquotes: ๐“›๐“˜๐“ผ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“พ๐“น ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฎ๐“ท ๐“ฝ๐“ป๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ฐ ๐“ฏ๐“ธ๐“ป ๐“ธ๐“ฟ๐“ฎ๐“ป 90 ๐”‚๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“ป๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ฌ๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ถ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ'๐“ป๐“ฎ ๐“ซ๐“ฎ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ๐“ป ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ถ๐“ฎ? ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ด ๐“ช๐“ฐ๐“ช๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“น๐“ฒ๐“ฎ๐“ฌ๐“ฎ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ผ๐“ฑ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ, ๐“ฒ'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท 69 ๐“ป๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ญ๐“ผ ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ฝ๐“ท๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ ๐”‚๐“ธ๐“พ ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฝ๐“ต๐“ฎ ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ. ๐“˜'๐“ฟ๐“ฎ ๐”€๐“ธ๐“ท ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ธ๐“ฏ ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ผ๐“ด๐“ฒ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ฒ๐“ท ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ป๐“ท๐“๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ, ๐“˜ ๐“ฐ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ต๐“ต ๐“ฝ๐“ฑ๐“ฎ ๐“ฐ๐“พ๐“ท๐“ผ ๐“ช๐“ท๐“ญ ๐”€๐“ฎ๐“ช๐“น๐“ธ๐“ท๐“ผ. ๐“จ๐“ธ๐“พ๐“ป ๐“ณ๐“พ๐“ผ๐“ฝ ๐“ช๐“ท ๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ฒ๐“ธ๐“ฝ ๐“ผ๐”€๐“ช๐“ฝ, ๐“ซ๐“ฒ๐“ฝ๐“ฌ๐“ฑ.
twitch chat
September 2018

Fortnite

Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama

twitchquotes: Hello Mr. Santana this is Michelle Obama, i'm loving your stream but all this feeding is making USA looks like garbage, i'm sending my husband (BARACK OBAMA) to shut you down.
twitch chat
April 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Frodan, be nicer to Kripp

twitchquotes: "Frodan, be nicer to Kripp," Reynad says in his office at Tempo Storm HQ. "I was just having a laugh," replies Frodan. "I know, but he's a casual and sensitive. Apologize to him. I'm inviting him over to 'cast' a 'tournament' and want him in a good mood," Reynad winks. Frodan bows and says, "Yes master."
twitch chat
January 2015
Reynad

Hearthstone

We will not go quietly into the night!

twitchquotes: We will not go quietly into the night! WutFace We will not vanish without a fight! WutFace Weโ€™re going to live on! WutFace Weโ€™re going to survive! WutFace Today, we celebrate our Independence Day! WutFace BROTHERS, HOLD THE LINE ๐Ÿฅ WutFace _๐Ÿ”ช
twitch chat
February 2016
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing