[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T

twitchquotes: TriHard TriHard TriHard TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ TriHard Only the realest homie can stack the perfect T.
twitch chat
February 2020

Dennis in a time machine

twitchquotes: The year is 1945. “Dennis,” Kripp speaks breathlessly into the night. “Get back to the time machine. We have what we need here.” A foul smirk plays upon his lips as he pockets a top-secret Nazi folder marked “Top Deck.” Lightning flashes and thunder crashes far across the German mountains. “We will see who says "Salt" now,” he says….
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Kripp can you please roleplay

twitchquotes: kripp can u please roleplay so when ur hero takes damage u pretend u take damage in real life? thank you
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh?

You think it’s funny to take screenshots of people’s NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someone’s property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. You’re the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I don’t even know why you took that screenshot, because you didn’t pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesn’t lie. Even if you try to save it, it’s my property. You’re just angry that you couldn’t afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldn’t even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. You’re just mad you don’t own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, you’ll be hearing from my lawyers.
November 2021

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Holding Galactic Virgins

Virgin Galactic Holdings changes name to Holding Galactic Virgins, and announces it’s changing its business model to extraterrestrial prostitution. Edit: SpaceX, not to be outdone, changes to SpaceSex
December 2020

WallStreetBets

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