[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Thinking Emoji

โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–’ โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’ โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’
May 2017

Classic

Rudy Giuliani brings a plate of evidence

Holy shit. Rudy Giuliani came into the presser to bring me a plate of election fraud evidence and I literally screamed at him and hit the plate of evidence out of his hand. He started yelling "HEEEREEE'S KRAKEN!" at me and I cut the live feed on him. Iโ€™m so distressed right now I donโ€™t know what to do. I didnโ€™t mean to do that to Rudy but Iโ€™m literally in shock from the evidence tonight. I feel like Iโ€™m going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This canโ€™t be happening. Iโ€™m having a fucking breakdown. I donโ€™t want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want to Build Back Betterโ„ข. I want Biden to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasnโ€™t supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in Michigan???? This is so fucked.
November 2020

2020 US Election

Naxx beta key on Kripp's Pornhub profile

twitchquotes: ๏ผฎ๏ผก๏ผธ๏ผธใ€€๏ผข๏ผฅ๏ผด๏ผกใ€€๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด Iษดา“แดส€แดแด€แด›ษชแดษด แดษด สœแดแดก แด›แด ษขแด‡แด› แด€ า“ส€แด‡แด‡ Nแด€xx แด‹แด‡ส แด›แด แด‡ษดแด›แด‡ส€ ส™แด‡แด›แด€ แด„แด€ษด ส™แด‡ า“แดแดœษดแด… แดษด Kส€ษชแด˜แด˜แด€ส€ษชแด€ษด's แด˜แดส€ษดสœแดœส™ แด˜ส€แดา“ษชสŸแด‡ (แดœษดแด…แด‡ส€ แด›สœแด‡ สœษชษขสœสŸษชษขสœแด›แด‡แด… แด„แด€แด› แด ษชแด…แด‡แด). Gแด‡แด› ษชแด› วซแดœษชแด„แด‹สŸส ส™แด‡า“แดส€แด‡ แด›สœแด‡ส แด€ส€แด‡ แด€สŸสŸ ษขแดษดแด‡, แดษดสŸส 463 ษดแด€xx แด‹แด‡สs สŸแด‡า“แด›
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Do they really feel like they are cool?

twitchquotes: I really wonder, when people spam the same thing as all the other people in the chat, do they really feel like they are cool? seems pretty damn stupid to me
twitch chat
March 2018

I hate Twitch Chat

Flame imp is a bad card

twitchquotes: Wow. Wanna know how I know that this guy doesn't know what he is doing? He plays Flame Imp, a card that does 3 damage to the guy that plays it. Clearly he doesn't understand that if you run out of health you lose.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing