[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Could you guys be more serious and stop the spamming

twitchquotes: guys could you please be a little serious and stop the spamming? people are trying to enjoy the stream here, its hard to find a place where im accepted for who i am and when i see you all spam kripps chat it makes me feel rly bad because i know that he wants you to learn instead of joke around as well
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

among us got banned at daycare

Fun fact among us got banned at the daycare where I work at Turns out, you know how youtube has the autoplay thing ? Well one day the kids were watching among us songs on YT when autoplay changed it to the among us twerking video, 10 hour version to be exact, and ALL the kids tried twerking So thats how among us got banned
July 2022

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This guy's veganism is CRAZY!

twitchquotes: โ˜‘ This guy's veganism is CRAZY!โ€ โ˜‘ โ€œMy vegetables can't win against fruits like thatโ€ โ˜‘ "He needed PRECISELY those two cucumbers to win" โ˜‘ โ€œHe bought the only tomato that could beat meโ€ โ˜‘ "He had the perfect eggplants โ˜‘ โ€œThere was nothing I could cookโ€ โ˜‘ โ€œI ate that perfectlyโ€
twitch chat
May 2017
Kripp

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018

SCANNING FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ASKED

๐Ÿšจ SCANNING ๐Ÿ’ฝ FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE ASKED ๐Ÿšจ 25% COMPLETE ๐Ÿ•’ 50% COMPLETE ๐Ÿ•• 75% COMPLETE ๐Ÿ•˜ โ—ERRORโ— THIS SCAN HAS FOUND โŒ NO โŒ PERSON(S) WITHIN A 1000 KM RADIUS WHO ASKED.
October 2021

Who Asked?

Text-to-Speech Playing