[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Only the chosen one can hold his donger

twitchquotes: 8=====> Only the chosen one can hold his donger ⎝ PogChamp ⎠
twitch chat
February 2016

Classic

It’s Morbin time! FAQ (Reddit)

It’s Morbin time! # FAQ ## What does this mean? It’s time for Morbin. ## Why did I do this? There are several reasons I may deem you morbin-able to be worthy of being morbed. These include, but are not limited to: I am very Morby I see you being morbin-able You morbed me first ## Is Morbius THE movie of all time? Yes ## I don't believe I deserved to be morbed upon. Can you un-morb me? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I put morb-juice back into my morbenis. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me some thick morb-milk explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to fucking requests/comments within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of people gets morbed, and you are is likely no exception. ## How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the reality that I stick my Morbenis into your morbussy and move on. But learn from this mistake. You were a mistake because I forgot to wear a morbondom whilst fucking your morb-hole. I will continue to morb your morbussy until you improve your conduct. Remember: morbing you who morbed me first is a right, not a privilege.
June 2022

If the human body is 75% water...

twitchquotes: If the human body is 75% water, how can you be 100% salt? Kappa
twitch chat
September 2015
Reynad

salty

Comedy God has entered the building: Attack Helicopter

I Sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter WEE WOO WEE WOO ALERT! COMEDY GOD HAS ENTERED THE BUILDING! GET TO COVER! steps on stage Bystander: "Oh god! Don't do it! I have a family!" Comedy God: "Heh..." adjusts fedora the building is filled with fear and anticipation God and Jesus himself looks on in suspense comedy god clears throat everything is completely quiet not a single sound is heard world leaders look and wait with dread everything in the world stops nothing is happening comedy god smirks no one is prepared for what is going to happen comedy god musters all of this power he bellows out to the world "ATTACK" absolute suspense everyone is filled with overwhelming dread "HELICOPTER" all at once, absolute pandemonium commences all nuclear powers launch their nukes at once giant brawls start 43 wars are declared simultaneously a shockwave travels around the earth earth is driven into chaos humanity is regressed back to the stone age the pure funny of that joke destroyed civilization itself all the while people are laughing harder than they ever did people who aren't killed die from laughter literally the funniest joke in the world then the comedy god himself posts his creation to reddit and gets karma
August 2021

Classic

Amogus Army

π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆžπ“ŠΉαŽ― π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž π“ŒœΰΆž π“Œ±ΰΆž π“ŒΰΆž
April 2022

Among Us / Amogus

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing