[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This guy's such a bad player!

twitchquotes: β˜‘ "This guy's such a bad player!” β˜‘ β€œYou seen my deck guys, there was nothing I could've done” β˜‘ "How am I losing against these NOOBS" β˜‘ β€œThis is hearthstone guys” β˜‘ "I lost" β˜‘ β€œHe played like trash and got lucky” β˜‘ β€œFUCKIN' EH” β˜‘
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hearthstone

This Copypasta Is CRAZY!

NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss

twitchquotes: I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
twitch chat
December 2019

Entire screen goes gray ever 30 seconds

twitchquotes: Hey qtpie, you should check your video settings after this game, there seems to be an issue with the stream. The colors of the video fade and entire screen goes gray every 30 or so seconds
twitch chat
August 2017
imaqtpie

League of Legends

Troll Face 2

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–“β–“β–“β–„β–„β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–“β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–“β–„β–‘ β–‘β–β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–Œ ░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓ β–‘β–“β–“β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓(◐)β–“β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–“β–“(◐)β–’β–“ β–ˆβ–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–‘β–€β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–„β–€β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–€
September 2016

Kripp thinks that milk is bad for you

twitchquotes: My dad drank milk his whole life. One day my mom told him "If u want to see ur children graduate, u have to stop" 3 years later he died of calcium deficiency. My mom told me "Dont drink milk; dont put your family through this" At 24, I have never touched a glass of milk. I must say, I feel a sense of regret, because watching Kripp play Hearthstone gave me calcium deficiency anyway.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing