[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Kripp likes his relationships the way he likes games, casual

twitchquotes: 'Pls,' says the Rania, begging Kripp to propose to her. 'My family will be forevr shamed if we no marry.' But the Kripparrian doesn't respond. Instead, he continues playing hearth of stone, the game of casuals. He is too afraid of commitment in a hardcore relationship. Because in the end, the Kripparrian likes his relationships the way he likes his games—casual.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Forgive English, I am Russia

forgive english, i am Russia. i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss. We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though. I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
July 2014

KappaPride

Classic

Happy poop

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣵⣶⣬⣉⡻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⣃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢡⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣭⣙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣈⠛⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⢿⣿ ⣿⠟⣋⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿ ⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣦⠙ ⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣄⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧ ⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏ ⣷⣦⣙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠟⢛⣛⣛⡛⠻⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢛⣡⣾
April 2021

Navy Seal Copypasta in uwu

What t-t-the fuck did you just fucking s-say about me, you little bitch!? I'll have you knyow I gwaduated t-top of my cwass in t-t-the Navy Seaws, and I've been invowved in nyumewous secwet raids on Aw-Quaeda, and I have uvw 300 confirmed k-kiwws. I am twainyed in gorilla wawfawe and I'm t-t-the t-top snyiper in t-t-the entiwe US armed forces. You awe n-nyothing t-to me but just anyothew tawget. I wiww wipe you t-t-the fuck out with pwecision t-t-the wikes of which has nyevew been seen befowe on this Eawth, mawk my fucking words. You think you c-can get away with saying that shit t-to me uvw t-t-the I-Intewnyet?!?1 Think again, fuckew. As w-w-we speak I am contacting my secwet nyetwork of spies acwoss t-t-the USA and youw IP is b-being twaced right nyow so you better pwepawe fow t-t-the stowm, maggot. T-The stowm that wipes out t-t-the pathetic little thing you caww youw life. Y-You'we fucking dead, kid. I c-can be anywhewe, anytime, and I c-can k-kiww you in uvw seven hundwed w-ways, and t-t-that's just with my bawe hands. N-Nyot only am I extensivewy twainyed in unyawmed combat, but I have access t-to t-t-the entiwe awsenyaw of t-t-the Unyited States M-Marinye Cowps and I wiww use i-it t-to its fuww extent t-to wipe youw misewabwe a-ass off t-t-the face of t-t-the continyent, you little shit. If only you could have k-knyown what unhowy retribution youw little "clever" comment was about t-to bring d-d-down upon y-you, maybe you w-wouwd have h-hewd youw fucking tongue. But you couwdn't, you didn't, and nyow you're paying t-t-the pwice, you g-goddamn i-idiot. I wiww shit fury all uvw you and you wiww dwown in i-it. Y-You'we fucking dead, kiddo.
April 2022

Navy Seal

WE WONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING WE HAVE STANDARDS

twitchquotes: WE WONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING WE HAVE STANDARDS. (dont copy paste this) WE WONT COPY PASTE ANYTHING WE HAVE STANDARDS. (dont copy paste this)
twitch chat
April 2016
Annie Bot
Text-to-Speech Playing