[Copypasta] I use Linux as my operating system

"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU Coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux." The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows were compiled with GCC, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even if you were correct, you won't be for long." With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Riding the chat elevator

twitchquotes: ( ͑↑ ΝœΚ– ͑↑) Riding the chat elevator all the way to Kripp ( ͑↑ ΝœΚ– ͑↑)
twitch chat
July 2015
Kripp

What Is This + Ratio

what is this + L + ratio + wrong + get a job + unfunny + you fell off + never liked you anyway + cope + ur allergic to gluten + don't care + cringe ur a kid + literally shut the fuck up + galileo did it better + your avi was made in MS Excel + ur bf is kinda ugly + i have more subscribers + owned + ur a toddler + reverse double take back + u sleep in a different bedroom from your wife + get rekt + i said it better + u smell + copy + who asked + dead game + seethe + ur a coward + stay mad + you main yuumi + aired + you drive a fiat 500 + the hood watches xqc now + yo mama + ok + currently listening to rizzle kicks without u. plus ur mind numbingly stupid plus ur voice is ronald mcdonald.
May 2022

Ratio

Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks

twitchquotes: Mesa sexual identify asa Jar Jar Binks. Ever since mesa was a boy, mesa being dreamin' to be a humble servant. Boss Nass tellin' me mesa can't bein' sex slave ina Otoh Gunga, but that smells stinkowiff. Mesa meetin' a biga man at duh Naboo, he spekin' he have uh mooey mooey poopa in hesa pants. From deesa day on, mesa will be maxi sex slave on da Naboo. If yousa a bombad and you be thinkin datsa eegad, esqueeze me but yousa how wude. Mesa bein' big thankful to yousa for duh understand.
twitch chat
July 2016

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!

IM DELETING YOU, DADDY!πŸ˜­πŸ‘‹ β–ˆβ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 10% complete..... β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 35% complete.... β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] 60% complete.... β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ] 99% complete..... 🚫ERROR!🚫 πŸ’―TrueπŸ’― Daddies are irreplaceable πŸ’–I could never delete you Daddy!πŸ’– Send this to ten other πŸ‘ͺDaddiesπŸ‘ͺ who give you πŸ’¦cummiesπŸ’¦ Or never get called ☁️squishy☁️ again❌❌😬😬❌❌ If you get 0 Back: no cummies for you πŸš«πŸš«πŸ‘Ώ 3 back: you're squishyβ˜οΈπŸ’¦ 5 back: you're daddy's kittenπŸ˜½πŸ‘ΌπŸ’¦ 10+ back: Daddy
August 2021

Emoji Pasta

I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer

twitchquotes: They criticized me. They called called me the salt mine. They called me the hs arena cry-baby. But look at me now. I am the PUBG MOBILE elite pro killer. Navy SEALs have nothing on me. Get gud chat cause I'm coming for you.
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp

sellout

PlayerUnknown's Battlegrounds

Text-to-Speech Playing