[Copypasta] McDonald's BTS Meal

So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster. Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created. I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army". bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
June 2021
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Response to Navy Seal Copypasta

Did you just think that you could fucking fool me with that comment of yours? I've searched your name up in the Navy SEAL database and you have never even graduated BUD/S, hell, even served in the Armed Forces. If you were actually a Navy SEAL, then you actually know how to spell guerrilla, you fucking moron. And you say you are the top sniper in the entire US Armed Forces and have over 300 confirmed kills. If that were true, then why the fuck is Chris Kyle a household name and you aren't? And plus he only had 160 kills. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. Plus why the fuck would you say you have a secret network of spies yet you just revealed that you had your secret network of spies? Are you a fucking idiot? If you can kill someone seven-hundred different ways, then list them all, I bet you can't even come up with seven. And if you had access to the entire US Marine Corps arsenal, then why the fuck did you just say you were in the Navy SEALs earlier? If only you could have done your research prior to posting your little β€œclever” comment, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you goddamn idiot.
March 2021

Navy Seal

When will C9 play at Worlds?

twitchquotes: Hi guys, I'm a 12 year old from Uganda. I sold my 6 kids just to be able to afford internet to watch C9 play at worlds. When will they play?
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This is the world we have wrought

twitchquotes: The year is 2129; humans can only communicate through increasingly garbled copy-pasta. A man approaches and says "ire: β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆ 10 ｓｔｒｏｋｅ ｄｉｃｋ ff β˜‘ EKT ☾ β˜† ΒΈ. ?" In confusion, I reply "AT ASCII ΰΊˆΩ„ΝœΩ„ΝœΰΊˆΰΊˆΰΌ½ΰΌ½οΎ‰οΎ‰ HA Κ™α΄ΚŸα΄€ ヽ༼ಒ_ β™Œ β›ΰΈ±βˆ—)β—ž TUCK F (β—‘β€Ώβ—‘βœΏ)". This is the world we have wrought.
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Classic

I was worried all the copium mines had run dry

twitchquotes: I was worried all the copium mines had run dry, that our reckless over-mining of such a precious resource had rendered it lost to time. But here comes our lord and savior [insert streamer here], who has managed to make this once limited resource renewable. Thank you sir. Our children will build statues to honor your ingenuity.
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October 2021

Pinkie Pie

β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–’β–’β–‘β–β–Œβ–‘β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–Œβ–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–’β–’β–’β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–ˆβ–Œβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–“β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–€β–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–’β–’β–“β–“ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“ ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░▐▄░▓▓▓▓▓▓ β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“
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November 2014
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