[Copypasta] McDonald's BTS Meal

So I was listening to my favorite boy band called 'BTS (I am an army)' on my Samsung earbuds (BTS Edition) using my Samsung Galaxy s20+ (BTS Edition) in my room plastered with BTS poster. Suddenly one of my Army friends (we are BTSSexual and BTSGender) told me that there is a McDonald's BTS meal which almost made me jizz my pants. I ran to McDonald's to buy the BTS meal and came back home. Even though I am an Army (I would have bought their feces if they were selling it), this is intolerable. That was the most uncreative meal ever created. I wish McDonald's would have put Ass-Hair of each members of the band and hidden it in Chicken McNuggets. Like "Hey! I got Jimins Ass-hair in my chicken nuggets! Can't wait to get Kim Teahyung's Ass-hair so I can take his DNA sample and recreate a clone of Kim Teahyung to overrule the world with #Army". bts #army #blm #gaypride #arianagrande
June 2021
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games

twitchquotes: Using footage of Octavian "Kripp" Morosan's mindnumbingly slow Hearthstone games, a landmark sleep study at Cologne University has successfully replicated the brain patterns produced in a comatose state. Lead researcher Don Pepporoni had hopes that this research will be able to cure the thousands of mentally invalid children who have, of late, been reduced to perpetual shitposting on video game streams.
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January 2015
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I think Zarya smells like dandelions

twitchquotes: I think Zarya smells like dandelions and a cool breeze. Her colored hair gives of the scent of strawberries in bloom, and her pink gun leaves a smell of bubblegum when shot. Her body smells of sweat, and a strong womanhood. I would love to stuff my head right into her armpit and smother myself. To smell her tomboyish energy. I would die for this.
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Saddam Hussein hiding spot v3

โฌคโ–…โ–‡โ–ˆโ–‡โ–†โ–…โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‡ ๓ €€
July 2021

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease

The year is 2037. Ligma is now the name of a real disease. You're a doctor you just got the test results of the patient it's just as you feared it's fatal, your patient has ligma you're crying but you can't stop laughing you know you have to tell your patient that he has ligma but you can't keep a straight face you have to go out therr and tell your patient that he has only three days left to live and that there's no cure no hope not even enough time for him to finish his bucket list or find love or get the life he's always wanted he started making progress, he was doing well, his future had high hopes but he has a fatal case of ligma and you can't keep a straight face you walk out to your patient, "s-sir," you say through snickers "yes doctor? what are my test results?" your patient replies "I-I'm very sorry to say but," you respond as your sentence gets interrupted by a loud snort. "it's f-f-atal." you can't hold your laughs and you let out a bit of laughter "Is this some kind of joke? are you some sadistic creep? why the fuck are you laughing" the patient shouts out you "you h-have a fatal case of l-l-ligma," you can't hold it in anymore, you burst out laughing, you're rolling on the floor, tears in your eyes, you pee yourself a little "what the fuck is wrong with you? you're horrible! fuck you! go to hell!" your patient replies, with a face of horror, disgust, anger and sadness. he starts to cry. he's shaking you scream at the top of your lungs, "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIGMA BALLS!" you can't stop laughing and shouting, over and over again you repeat "LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS! LIGMA BALLS!" your patient flees, he runs as fast as he can soon the police come, they handcuff you and put you in the back of a police car. you don't know what's going to happen to you now, but you know it won't be good
August 2021

Red sus but with emojis (Among Us)

twitchquotes: Red ๐Ÿ”ด ๐Ÿ“› sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ. Red ๐Ÿ”ด ๐Ÿ”ด suuuus. I ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘„ ๐Ÿ‘ said ๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ—ฃ ๐Ÿ’ฌ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ’ฆ red ๐Ÿ‘น ๐Ÿ”ด, sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ, hahahahaha ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ. Why ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿค” arent you ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ˜ฏ ๐Ÿ‘ˆ laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚? I ๐Ÿ‘๐ŸŠ ๐Ÿ‘ฅ just made ๐Ÿ‘‘ ๐Ÿ‘‘ a reference ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ to the popular ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ video ๐Ÿ“น ๐Ÿ“น game ๐ŸŽฎ ๐ŸŽฎ "Among ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ด๐ŸŽ› ๐Ÿ’ฐ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ"! How can you ๐Ÿ‘ˆ ๐Ÿ‘ˆ not laugh ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ at it? Emergeny meeting ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿค! Guys ๐Ÿ‘ฆ ๐Ÿ‘จ, this here guy ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿป doesnt laugh ๐Ÿคฃ โ˜‘๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜… at my funny ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜ƒ Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ’ฐ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ memes ๐Ÿธ ๐Ÿ˜‚! Lets ๐Ÿ™† ๐Ÿ™† beat โœŠ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ‘Š him ๐Ÿ‘ด ๐Ÿ‘จ to death ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’ฅโ“ ๐Ÿ’€! Dead ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ˜‚ โ˜  body ๐Ÿ’ƒ ๐Ÿ’ƒ reported โ˜Ž ๐Ÿง! Skip ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผ! Skip ๐Ÿง ๐Ÿง! Vote ๐Ÿ” ๐Ÿ” blue ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’™! Blue ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’™ was not an impostor ๐Ÿ˜Ž ๐Ÿ˜ . Among ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ…ฐ us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‘จ in a nutshell ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜  hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘‹ ๐Ÿ˜‚. What?! Youre still ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ not laughing ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ your ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ ass ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ…ฐ off ๐Ÿ“ด ๐Ÿ“ดโ˜ ? I ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ made ๐Ÿ‘‘ ๐Ÿ‘‘ SEVERAL ๐Ÿ’ฏ ๐Ÿ’ฏ funny ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜ƒโ“ references ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ“– to Among ๐Ÿ’ฐ ๐Ÿ’‘๐Ÿ‘จโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉ Us ๐Ÿ‘จ ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ and YOU ๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿผ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ”ฅ STILL ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿ™„ ARENT LAUGHING ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ’ฆ??!!! Bruh โš  ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚. Ya ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŽผ ๐Ÿ™€ hear ๐Ÿ‘‚ ๐Ÿ‘‚ that? Wooooooosh ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ ๐Ÿ’ฆ๐Ÿ‘ฝ๐Ÿ‘พ. Whats ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿ˜ฆ woooosh ๐Ÿš ๐Ÿš? Oh ๐Ÿ™€ ๐Ÿ™€, nothing โŒ ๐Ÿšซ. Just the sound ๐Ÿ‘‚ ๐Ÿ”Š of a joke ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚ flying โœˆ โœˆ over ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ” your ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ head ๐Ÿ’† ๐Ÿ’†. Whats ๐Ÿ˜ฆ ๐Ÿค” that? You ๐Ÿ‘ˆ ๐Ÿ‘‰ think ๐Ÿ’ญ ๐Ÿ’ญ im ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ’˜ annoying ๐Ÿ˜  ๐Ÿ˜ ? Kinda ๐Ÿ™… ๐Ÿ™… sus ๐Ÿ’ฆ ๐Ÿ’ฆ, bro ๐Ÿ‘† ๐ŸŒˆโ˜บ๐Ÿ‘ฌ. Hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚! Anyway ๐Ÿ”› ๐Ÿ”›, yea ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ’ฏ, gotta ๐Ÿ‘‰ ๐Ÿ‘‰ go ๐Ÿƒ ๐Ÿƒ do tasks โœ” ๐Ÿ“‹. Hahahaha ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚!
twitch chat
December 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing