SpongeBob is asexual
No this isnβt some lgbtq+ stuff
Heβs a fucking sea sponge
They reproduce asexually
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Xi Jinping Tanner
twitchquotes:
So youβre going by Kripparian now, nerd? Haha what up, itβs Xi Jinping from China. Me and the other dictators used to give you a hard time. Sorry you were just an easy target. I see your social credit score is still low. Remember Mei Ling, the girl you had a crush on? Yeah, I have her organs now. I forcefully oppress over 1 billion people a year, and run a corrupt government. I guess some things never change, huh? Nice catching up, pathetic..
twitch chat
Kripp
Tanner from High School
WHEN THE IMPOSTOR IS SUS (text)
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Among Us / Amogus
Infinite poop
twitchquotes:
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
Classic
I canβt escape Fortnite
twitchquotes:
I canβt escape Fortnite. I was on an airplane half an hour ago and through my headphones I heard some guy ask, βDo you play Fortnite?β. At first I couldnβt process the words, but I understood after he reiterated. βDude, do you play Fortnite?β Then I heard someone respond behind me. βFortnite?β Then another. βYeah, that game.β I couldnβt shut them out before the cabin erupted into a chorus of Fortnite conversations. I felt like I was being suffocated. The man previously sleeping beside me woke up suddenly and contributed with βwhere we droppin' boys?β. The crying kid across the aisle stopped kicking and screaming just to say βTilted Towers!β
twitch chat
Fortnite
MLK Fortnite event helped my little brother stop his racism
My little brother (10) has always been one for those toxic semi racist squeakers youβd find on Xbox lobbyβs. Iβve walked in on him saying the n word to people in squads and heard him say the word when in a fit of rage. Iβve tried to tell him thatβs hurtful and not acceptable at all but he doesnβt listen to me and insists he isnβt racist and that heβs just saying it because heβs angry. Iβve told my parents and they say the same thing, but they never enforce punishment because he is doing excellent in school due to the incentive of using his Xbox. Then the mlk event happened and it allowed him to see the history of segregation this country has had. It allowed me to show him the history of the words he used and how they were used to demean African Americans. He promised me he wouldnβt say it again Thank you epic, while most say the event was tone deaf, it really helped me teach my brother a lesson.