[Copypasta] SpongeBob is asexual (spoilers)

SpongeBob is asexual No this isn’t some lgbtq+ stuff He’s a fucking sea sponge They reproduce asexually
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
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Shitting Toothpaste Amogus

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢰⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠻⢿⣿⣿⣶⠀⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣶⡀⠹⣿⣿⡇⢀⣶⣶⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠃⣼⣿⣷⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠃⣀⣿⣿⣧⠀⣿⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣿⡟⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠐⠋⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠃⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⢠⡆⠀⠀⠐⣶⠀⢠⣦⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠛⠛⠀⣠⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡟⠁⢰⡟⠀⠾⠿⠛⠀⠀⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠘⠀⠾⣿⣧⣤⣤⣶⡶⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⢀⠉⠉⠁⢲⣦⣤⡄⢹⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣉⠉⠁⢠⠀⠐⠀⠌⠙⠛⠛⠋⠀⠀⣈⣉⣁⣀⣄⠈⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠟⢁⣼⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

Winston is basically an Anime character

twitchquotes: If you think about it, Winston is basically an Anime character. He has that epic anime leap, and that cliche genius anime glasses. I bet he gets all the ladies with his wit and charismatic humor. I wish I could be Winston, but I'm already winston :(
twitch chat
January 2019

Overwatch

Pornhub's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, this is the administrator of PornHub™ we have noticed you haven’t logged in for 2 weeks, we’re just checking to see if everything is okay and we’ve prepared you a list of videos from your favourite category (Asian). See you soon!
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

First, some perspective. I'm a PURIFY-PRIEST player

twitchquotes: First, some perspective. I'm a PURIFY-PRIEST player. If you don't know what that is, it's not important, just know it's a deck I'm very passionate about and that I've played for three years now. That's right, I've played the same deck for the years, and it's never gotten stale. Why? Because the enjoyment comes from mastering the deck, from fine tuning my decision making, my sequencing, from learning how to play around the latest and greatest shenanigans.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing