WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY.
Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas
Lying about service dogs
I work in a restaurant. We only allow dogs in if they are service dogs. If anyone comes in with any dog I ask;
‘Is it a service dog?’
With a big wink to give them the opportunity to lie to me making it obvious I want them to.
If at first they say ‘no’ I reply with ‘are you sure? This dog here? Sure looks like a service dog to me. Are you sure this is not a service dog?’with another big wink
Always works.
I love dogs
Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game!
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Art of Conquest is such an amazing FREE game! (Thanks for joining our Conquest Loyalty Rewards Program! Your selected channel is: nl_kripp. The more you post this message in his chat, the bigger your rewards! 1 Post = 10k Gold/Mana/Wood. 5 Posts = 50k Basic Resources + 3x 8 Hour Rush. 40 Posts = 750k Basic Resources + 20k Rare Resources + 21x 8 Hour Rush. Please remove this part before posting or your program will be terminated!)
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Kripp
sellout
Trolling My Office With Among Us PART 8 (GRAND SERIES FINALE)
I was dashing around the office. Everyone looked at me weird. I was screaming, "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS!" Everyone started chanting with me. "SUS! SUS! AMOGUS! AMONG SUS! WHEN THE IMPOSTER IS SUS!" We all did the Among Us beatbox in unison. It was beautiful. Like a horse waving its mane in the air on a bright and pretty day. But suddenly I noticed; one of the kids wasn't doing the Among Drip beatbox! So I ran over to her.
"Hey kid," I said, "Stop being an asparagus or whatever your dumb star signs are and be not sussy with us!" She looked at me weird and said "Whatever, old man." That was so disrespectful and SUS of her! So I put my hands around her neck and twisted her head off "Like in that one kill animation in Among Us."
Everyone looked at me in horror, even the ones who were Among Beatboxing with me! Everyone was looking at me like I had just sexually abused a Syrian 4 year old refugee (which I had done before.) I said "What?" when suddenly the elevator opened. It was the CEO of Pepsi-co! I noticed the Pepsi pin on her shirt and said "When the Pepsi is sus!" because it reminded me of the Among Us crewmate .I did the sussy Among Us beatbox. You know the one? It goes; ding ding ding ding ding ding ding, ding ding ding! BM BM! You know the one!
But, before I could finish it, I noticed; her boobs were big! I took my finger and poked her titty that was almost bursting out of her shirt. "Booba." I said. She had a face more horrified than anyone in the room, like before when everyone looked at me last week like I murdered Bosnian children. You remember that, right? She screamed "SECURITY!"
Two buff men with pecs almost as big as hers and clothes so tight you could see their 12-pack abs through the shirt tackled me. I said "That's a bit SUSSY!" (Like how the guy said it in the "STOP POSTING ABOUT AMONG US" rant. "You're not wholesome Keanu Chungus 100 Fortnite bad TikTok cringe Minecraft & Reddit good." I said. I got out and kicked their nuts. Although they were big, (not as big as my magnum mega-cock, you know like the size of Danny Devito's?) they still cried when I kicked their nuts.
"You fucking cracker-jacks! You're Tik-Tokers trying to invade Reddit!" I screamed. I dashed for the door but an alarm started blaring and steel barriers went down over the windows. I barely slid out of the door before the steel door closed under me. I heard the alarms blaring even from inside. I started running, running away trying to flee the scene. Not even half a mile away I saw a SWAT police car dash by me.
It started to slow down, oh shit, they noticed me! I jumped into a nearby bush and hid, hoping he wouldn't see me. Quickly, a bunch of men fully armed with automatic rifles and heavy armor came out of the back, scoping the area around.
"We can't let him get away!" I heard one of them yell. Were they talking about me? I didn't do anything sus, at least if murder, sexual harassment, and assault don't count as being sus. I stayed still, not even making a sound.
A few minutes in, I heard my dickhole queef. It didn't make that much of a sound but I just barely saw out of the bush, the SWAT team start looking around. Shit. They heard my cock fart. I couldn't move as it would make too much noise. Eventually, after a while of looking, they just left. I was free. I quickly got out and ran, but making sure to run behind the bushes so I wouldn't be spotted.
I eventually got into the main part of the city. The town wasn't all that big, but it was big enough for me to hide. I did it. I really did it. I had gotten away.
Eventually, I made it far. Far out of town. I can't even tell Reddit where I am. It's too secret. I'm currently living a secret life in my inconspicuous location. But, this is the story of how I trolled my office. With Among Us.
Trolling with Among Us
Among Us / Amogus
EARN that starting position
twitchquotes:
It was a humid night, all the windows were open in the Cloud 9 house as Sneaky looked outside contemplating how to avoid the bench again. As he mused the door creaked open and Jack was there. Sneaky knew what had to be done as he got on his knees to fellate his boss. "Oh yea Sneaky, work that hard cock, EARN that starting position"
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Sneaky
League of Legends
True dank meme EleGiggle
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Hello everyone, Captain 
here. Please enlist to help fight of the Asian Invasion of MingLee. Copy and paste this to show your support of the true dank meme
here. Please enlist to help fight of the Asian Invasion of MingLee. Copy and paste this to show your support of the true dank meme
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Reynad