[Copypasta] WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Popsicle burglaries

twitchquotes: Local police are baffled by a string of strange popsicle burglaries that have taken place over the past few days. The thief appears to be ignoring cash, jewelry, and other valuables, only taking sugary treats from the residents' freezers. Police have yet to apprehend the burglar, but have several reports of a suspicious lanky figure with poor hygiene seen near the crime scenes muttering about "value." Any further information on the popsicle bandit should be reported immediately.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Undertale Sans full body

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February 2019

I screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral

Me (M 9) screamed "dead body reported" at my aunts funeral. My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted put laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finnaly arived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking me like if some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorow. Idk my mom is acting kinda sus πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

DansGame

β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β–‘β–‘ β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–ˆ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–„ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–€β–’β–’β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–„β–„β–€β–‘β–“ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β–„β–ˆβ–“β–„β–„β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–’β–„β–„β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–ˆβ–€β–“β–€β–„β–„β–„β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–€β–€β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–“β–“β–“β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–ˆβ–„β–„β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–€β–€β–€β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–ˆβ–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–’β–’β–’β–’β–€β–€β–’β–’β–’β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘ β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–€β–“β–“β–“β–“β–“β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–“β–’β–‘
November 2014

Legality of Wario

twitchquotes: In order to move units of his "Microgames" Wario "borrows" patented characters, IPs, and game mechanics from beloved Nintendo franchises. Somehow he hasn't yet been called out, let alone legally challenged for it. That's not even touching on the working conditions he subjects his friends to, and the fact that they rarely, if ever, see the revenue their creations bring in. I'm not sure what copyright laws they have in Diamond City, but I seriously think that someone needs to sue that fat con artist for all he's worth.
twitch chat
July 2019

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing