[Copypasta] WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I donโ€™t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23ยฐC) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

PJSalt

โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โฃดโฃถโฃถโฃฆโฃ€โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ€โฃคโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ ‹โฃกโฃฝโกณโก„โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โฃ โฃดโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ›โขฟโฃทโฃดโฃฟโฃทโกนโฃฟโฃฟโฃžโฃ†โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โฃ โ ดโฃพโฃฟโกฟโข‹โฃ‰โฃฟโฃฟโ ปโฃฟโฃทโกˆโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก˜โฃฟโฃฟโกžโก„ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโกŸโ ณโฃฎโขปโฃงโก˜โ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโกธโ โขฟโฃฟโกŒโ Ÿโฃ‰โฃฌโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโก‡โ ‡ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โ ˆโ ทโกนโฃฟโฃถโก„โ นโฃงโ ฐโฃฆโฃนโฃฟโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฟโก‡โก€ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โขธโ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฑโกนโฃฟโ ‹โฃฐโฃฟโฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ šโขกโ ƒ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ˜โก€โฃฝโฃฆโ €โ €โขฑโขนโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ ‹โขนโฃปโกฝโ ฟโ ›โข‰โ  โ ”โ Šโ โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ ฑโกˆโ ‡โ กโ €โ €โก†โฃฟโฃŸโฃ โ ดโ šโ ‰โฃ€โ คโ ’โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ €โ €โข€โ คโก€โ €โ ‘โฃŒโ ‚โ €โข€โฃ‡โ ‡โ ‰โฃ€โ คโ ’โ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ  โ Šโ โ €โ ˆโ ฐโข„โ ˆโ ™โ ฟโ ปโ žโ Šโ โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โข โฃŠโกโ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ —โก„โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ € โ €โ €โ ‰โ ’โ โ ’โ ’โ ’โ šโ ‰โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €โ €
September 2020

salty

SCP Jerma

Item #: SCP-985-J Object Class: Euclid Special Contain Procedures: SCP-985-J must be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell decorated to look like an average American household with a live video feed. SCP-985-J must be fed BrainFluud once every 6 hours for sustenance. Personnel assigned to SCP-985-J must refrain from using the words "Short Streamer" "Late" "Loud Pee" and "Bald" as this can agitate SCP-985-J, causing it to enter an enraged state. SCP-985-J is allowed access to one (1) Garfield comic strip per day for entertainment. Description: SCP-985-J is a 32 year old Caucasian male from Boston, MA. SCP-985-J refers to itself as "Jeremy Elbertson" and believes itself to be much taller than it appears to others, referring to itself as being "not tiny" and "compact". SCP-985-J was discovered by the Foundation on โ–ˆโ–ˆ/โ–ˆโ–ˆ/201โ–ˆ when footage emerged of it attacking and killing [DATA EXPUNGED]. MTF Gamma-43 ("Anti-Jerms") was dispatched to secure the anomaly and all civilians who had viewed the footage were amnesticized.
January 2022
Jerma985

GME to the moon

.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€*ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ˜€๏ธif we holdใ€€ใ€€. ,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆ โœฆ ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šโ€Š๐Ÿš€ gme ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€Šโ€Šใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€หšใ€€ โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€,ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€Šโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€* ใ€€ใ€€ โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€โ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆโ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚โ€‚ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ๐ŸŒ‘ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€Šโ€Šโ€Šใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€๏พŸใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€. ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ ๐ŸŒŽ โ€ โ€ if we sell โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ โ€ ,ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€* .ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ โœฆ หšใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€*ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€โ€ˆ โ€ˆใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€.
January 2021

WallStreetBets

Classic

Indian Zven

Jagjeevan "Zven" Shirishkumar is a LoL professional player playing for Chakla 9 (C9) in the Indian Sub-league. He currently works as a tea farmer in Mahasamund. He aspires to be an electrical engineer in Chennai.
August 2021
C9Zven

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing