WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY.
Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
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More Copypastas
My boss recently discovered Among Us
Oh my fucking god guys I am fucking fuming. So the other day at work my boss told us that he recently discovered the video game Among Us, and ever since, his behaviour has become rather concerning. He now refers to me and my coworkers as 'crewmates'. Last Wednesday, when he noticed my teenage colleague slacking off at his workstation, he yelled at him saying he was "faking his tasks" and is "acting sus". I confronted my boss telling him that his behaviour lately has been egregious and immature, and he proceeded to call me an idiot and yelled "kicked!" The next day I caught him dancing around in his office blasting "among drip" from his desktop at full volume. I entered his office to kindly ask him to turn off the music since it was distracting to me and my coworkers. He looked at me angrily, telling me he has called an "emergency meeting", instructing me to have a seat. I asked him what was the matter and he told me that I have been acting extremely "sus". He repeatedly yelled "you're the impostor", telling me to say goodbye to my job because I have been "ejected". I fucking lost my job and I don't know what to do. Please help me Reddit! I have nowhere else to turn.
Among Us / Amogus
Slim down and shout less T1
twitchquotes:
Hey T1, I was wondering if you could please take a month off of going to the gym to slim down a bit? Your huge masculine, muscular frame intimidates me and distracts me from the gameplay that I'm here to savor. Also please try to shout less I have sensitive ears. Thank you 
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Tyler1
Bernie Sanders chicken nuggest
Holy shit. My mom came into my room to bring me a plate of chicken nuggets and I literally screamed at her and hit the plate of chicken nuggets out of her hand. She started yelling and swearing at me and I slammed the door on her. I'm so distressed right now I don't know what to do. I didn't mean to do that to my mom but I'm literally in shock from the results tonight. I feel like I'm going to explode. Why the fucking fuck is he losing? This can't be happening. I'm having a fucking breakdown. I don't want to believe the world is so corrupt. I want a future to believe in. I want Bernie to be president and fix this broken country. I cannot fucking deal with this right now. It wasn't supposed to be like this, I thought he was polling well in New York???? This is so fucked.
2016 US Election
Kripp and Hafu
twitchquotes:
ＫＲＩＰＰ ＴＨＩＳ ＩＳ ＨＡＦＵ． ＹＯＵ ＡＲＥ ＩＮ ＴＲＯＵＢＬＥ ＭＩＳＴＥＲ． Ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｎｏｔ ｇａｙ！ Ｙｏｕ ｔａｌｋ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｐｈｏｎｅ ｅｖｅｒｙ ｎｉｇｈｔ， ａｎｄ ｗｈｏ ｃａｎ ｆｏｒｇｅｔ ｏｕｒ ｎｉｇｈｔｓ ｏｆ ｅｎｄｌｅｓｓ ｎｉｐｐｌｅ ｐｌａｙ？ Ｓｔｏｐ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｒａｄｅ ａｎｄ ｃｏｍｅ ｂａｃｋ ｔｏ ｙｏｕｒ Ｈａｆｕ ｂａｂｙ． Ｐｌｚ ｎｏ ｃｏｐｙ ｐａｓｔｅｒｉｎｏ ｃｈｉｎｇ ｃｈｏｎｇ ｃｈａｎｇｅｒｉｎｏ ｎｏｏｄｌｅｒｉｎｏ ｂｏｋ ｃｈｏｙ ｋｕｎｇ ｐａｏｒｉｎｏ．
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Kripp
Europe is the Eastern USA
twitchquotes:
Europe was founded in 1848 by Walker Texas Ranger when he rode a horse across the Atlantic, he called it "Eastern USA" which was eventually abbreviated as just "EU"
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