[Copypasta] WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAP PORN

WARNING: NEVER jerk of to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, it is a slippery slope! First yer jerkin it to a guy that looks a bit feminine, next thing you know? Yer in a pink miniskirt gettin ANALLY CREAMPIED and BUKKAKED by 4 cocks! I don’t even have 4 friends! And one of em thinks its a good idea to CUM IN YER HAIR does he KNOW how hard that shit is to get out? ITS FUCKIN HARD! I had to shower not ONCE, NOT TWICE, BUT 4 FUCKING TIMES, AND COMB MY HAIR FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR! Oh yeah, and despite what porn told me, CUM TASTES TERRIBLE, its far to salty, and less sticky as it is SLIMY. Yet again, NEVER jerk off to TRAPS, FEMBOYS, OR SISSYS, or you may end up like me.
June 2021
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Henry Dongerman and his pet donger Mr Mittens

twitchquotes: Hey my name is Henry Dongerman I lost my pet donger. Here's a picture of him [ᕙ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ᕗ] if you can help find him I would be eternally grateful he means the world to me. Mr. Mittens is his name if it helps share this around and pray to lord donger to help find him. His favorite song is ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ HARDER BETTER FASTER DONGER ᕙ༼ຈلຈ༽ᕗ so try playing that he may come
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

It is physically impossible to simp for pokimane

twitchquotes: Simp means Sucker Idolizing Mediocre Pussy. A man is only a simp if the girl he is after has a mediocre pussy, but pokimane’s pussy is a goddess pussy, at worst. I will continue to donate 50% of my paycheck to pokimane because I know that it’s not simping. Poki if you see this I love you please text me back.
twitch chat
May 2020
Pokimane

Simps

Complaining about copypastas

twitchquotes: By complaining about copypastas you are just making it worse. Can't you see that? Every time you comment and complain about people posting the same comments each time just adds to the incentive for people who think they are funny to continue. I am willing to bet that this comment will turn into a *** copypasta at this point just because of how "funny" and "ironic" it would be to make a copypasta out of a comment complaining about copypastas.
twitch chat
March 2016

I hate Twitch Chat

SPAM THESE BOATS IF YOU'RE SICK OF GOATS

twitchquotes: SPAM ⛵ THESE ⛵ BOATS ⛵ IF ⛵ YOU’RE ⛵ SICK ⛵ OF ⛵ GOATS ⛵
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Rhyme Chant

Overwatch

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what?

Yeah I'm a virgin, so what? I'm waiting for the "right one", there's nothing wrong with that. Just because I'm 36 doesn't make it "weird" or make me a "loser". I have standards. I'm not going to give away my state of chastity to some bar/club "whore"; that's just not the kind of guy I am. I require a REAL women that will hold and care for me gently, and who can, above all else, love me for who I am. Once I find that person, I'll happily donate my virginity away. Until then, I am fine being a virgin. Besides, I have a fleshlight, so it's not like I don't know how it feels anyway. Maybe one day you immature keyboard cretins will understand that life isn't about just having sex for the accomplishment, it's about love and finding the "one" to share that experience with.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing