[Copypasta] would you mind answering my question? Who the fuck asked?

twitchquotes: PLEBS Have you for one second indulged yourself, your mind, your brain to think that the shit you just spew could be taken as an advice/ backseat/ tip which is ON ALL CAPS in the title telling you against it. Now when you’ve contemplated well on this thought, would you mind answering my question? Who the fuck asked? PogO
twitch chat
May 2021
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Wife attack AITA?

I (46M) was having lunch (lasagna) with my side chick (42F) on a lovely day (23°C) when all of a sudden my wife (44F) of 35 years barges in and starts attacking me (46M). Wtf (what the fuck) was she thinking I had been having sex with my side chick (42F) every other weekend it's not like I was doing this every day. She (44F) then starts attacking her (42F) and the wait staff (32M, 26M and 29M) have to intervene. Completely ruined my lunch. AITA?
December 2019

Am I The Asshole?

I LOVE YOU CHAT

⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⡟⠛⢻⣿⣿⠛⢻⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⡟⠄⢠⣶⡄⠄⢻⡀⠈⣿⡇⠄⣼⡇⠄⣶⣶⣶⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⣿⡇⠄⢸⣇⠄⢹⠄⢰⣿⡇⠄⣀⣀⣀⣿ ⡇⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⠉⠉⣷⡀⠈⠛⠁⢀⣾⣿⡄⠄⠄⣾⣿⡇⠄⠛⠛⠛⣿ ⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠛⢻⣿⠟⠛⣻⡿⠛⠛⠛⢿⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠏⠄⣰⡏⠄⣠⣶⡄⠄⢿⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⣰⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⡇⠄⢸⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣧⡀⠈⠛⠁⢀⣿⣇⠄⠙⠋⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⣿⣿⠛⠛⣿⣿⡟⠛⠻⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠁⠄⣴⣦⣀⣽⡇⠄⠿⠿⠄⠄⣿⣿⠁⢀⠄⢻⣧⣤⡄⠄⣤⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠘⣿⣿⠿⣿⡇⠄⣀⣀⠄⠄⣿⡏⠄⠾⠄⠈⣿⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠙⠁⠄⣼⡇⠄⣿⣿⠄⠄⡿⠄⢠⣤⣄⠄⢹⣿⡇⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣶⣶⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣶⣶⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
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May 2019

I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

Among Us Reds

twitchquotes: It's important to note that Reds commit nearly 52% of all the murders in Among Us, which is astounding when you take into consideration the fact that they make up 12-13% of the population. It gets even more astounding when you start considering the fact the bulk of Reds committing these murders are probably ages 8-18 which is probably around an estimated 6-7% of the population that means that around 7% of Among Us Players are committing around 50% of the murders.
twitch chat
October 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018
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