stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
chewsday: It's chewsday innit?
BLM: Black lives ma-a
spiderman: peta paka
ffs: fuh funk saek
ROIGHT wots oll dis den
Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen
fuck you: funk yew
sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube
you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf
you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king
math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!?
i saw a film: I soar a film
not botherd: I'm not movered
harry potter: arry pah uh
my son is now foh yes old
nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht
mtdew: mointain jew
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
How I got into Harvard
Many people always ask me how I was able to get into Harvard as a 16 year old who skipped 3 grades of high school. They think I got in because of my scholarly records, but no the key is the interview.
As I sat in the Harvard Dean's office in front of the board of reviewers for my application, the Dean asks me "Why should you be a good candidate for this school?" They seemed bored but I replied "Well I was born a child prodigy, placed 1st in my state spelling bee for three consecutive years, I can speak eight different languages not counting Latin, play four different instruments, I skipped grades 4 through 6, and graduated my high school as valedictorian at the age of 14. I then worked as an intern at both Telsa, and NASA." Suddenly the room burst into laughter and many of board instantly started scribbling down "No" near the application check marks. The Dean says "Sorry but you are just not the type we are looking for." But then I said "Excuse me but I wasn't finished... I watch Rick and Morty" The Dean looked at me like an idiot and said "So....?" Then I replied with a smile "And I understand all the references and subtle jokes" An audible gasp let out by the board was so loud the secretary had to come in. You could hear a pin drop and then suddenly all at once the entire board clicked their pens on the "Approved Box" and I was instantly handed a diploma and now I'm teaching advanced physicals there. I guess you can say I'm pretty smart. 
Rick and Morty
IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE?
βΌοΈHOLY FUCKING SHITβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈ IS THAT A MOTHERFUCKING JOJO REFERENCE??????!!!!!!!!!!11!1!1!1!1!1!1! π±π±π±π±π±π±π± JOJO IS THE BEST FUCKING ANIME π₯π₯π₯π₯π―π―π―π― JOSUKE IS SO BADASSSSS ππππππππππππ ORAORAORAORAORALORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA π©π©π©π©π©π©π©π© π©π©π©π© MUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDA π€¬π‘π€¬π‘π€¬π‘π€¬π€¬π‘π€¬π€¬π‘WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo!πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ Yo Angelo! πΏ Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo!Yo Angelo! Yo Angelo! πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ πΏ Oh youβre approaching meββββββββββBut it was me, DioβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈβΌοΈππ€£ππ€£ππ€£ππππ€£π€£π€£ππ
JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
XQC's chat makes me sick
twitchquotes:
Don't you guys feel any embarrassment? Being trash in chat and in TTS all day and being full of shit while XQC is trying to give us juicer content? A lot of you guys are a disgrace to me and to others who're trying to enjoy the stream. You people make me sick
twitch chat
xQcOW
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon
twitchquotes:
Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
DickButt
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