stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
chewsday: It's chewsday innit?
BLM: Black lives ma-a
spiderman: peta paka
ffs: fuh funk saek
ROIGHT wots oll dis den
Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen
fuck you: funk yew
sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube
you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf
you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king
math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!?
i saw a film: I soar a film
not botherd: I'm not movered
harry potter: arry pah uh
my son is now foh yes old
nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht
mtdew: mointain jew
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Things escalated from there
twitchquotes:
I lost my virginity while listening to this song 5 years ago, it's a funny story really.. i had just finished my gym workout and i was in the locker room all sweaty, and in walks this leather dressed jabroni.. he seemed confused as to where he was.. i told him he might have gotten the wrong door, then he got very rude and said "fuck you", then i said "nah fuck you leatherman" and then things escalated from there
twitch chat
Approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Who asked?
According to world population studies, approximately 108 billion people have lived on this planet. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 days of life (985.5 trillion days). Not once in any of those days did anybody ask.
Who Asked?
Poop
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ββββββββββββββββββββββ
βββββββTSMββββββββββββ
Riot Games
Classic
League of Legends
Doublelift dodges Imaqtpie in queue
twitchquotes:
Doublelift fired up his stream for another day of soloQ, but foolishly forgot to check if Imaqtpie was in a game. He opened up QTβs stream to find him sitting in queueβ¦ He frantically began tabbing between his client and QTβs stream, then one after the otherβ¦ both queues popped. βI need the toiletβ he said to his chat. He ran to the wall and unplugged his internet. He was safe for another day.
twitch chat
imaqtpie
Classic
League of Legends
You will never be a crewmate
You will never be a crewmate. You have no purpose on this ship, you have no tasks, you have no mini games to play. You are an impostor twisted into a crude mockery of crewmatery.
All the validation you get is two-faced and halfhearted. In emergency meetings people call you sus. The other players are disgusted and ashamed of you, your friends laugh at your sussy appearance in ghost chat.
Crewmates are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of games have allowed crewmates to identify impostors with incredible efficiency. Even impostors who fake tasks act uncanny and suspicious to a crewmate. Your jumping in vents is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a crewmate to electrical with you, he'll turn tail and use the emergency button the second he gets the suspicion that you sabotaged.
You will never be a winner. You wrench out a fake task every single game and tell yourself it is going to be a win, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it will be too much to bear - people will vote you out for being sus and will plunge you into the cold abyss. Your parents will report your body, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They will eject you with a headstone marked with your birth tag, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know an impostor is drifting there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably sus.