stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
chewsday: It's chewsday innit?
BLM: Black lives ma-a
spiderman: peta paka
ffs: fuh funk saek
ROIGHT wots oll dis den
Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen
fuck you: funk yew
sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube
you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf
you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king
math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!?
i saw a film: I soar a film
not botherd: I'm not movered
harry potter: arry pah uh
my son is now foh yes old
nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht
mtdew: mointain jew
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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I want to date Pokimane so bad
twitchquotes:
I want to date Pokimane so bad. She is so cute and I love her so much. She has a cute smile and a cute face. She’s a gamer like me and has a amazing personality. I would love to tell her every night “I love you” and rub her feet while she is streaming. We would go out when she isn’t doing gamer stuff and have fun together. She is also really good at gaming so I would be able to get carried by my very own GF. I love girls who are better at things than me so I can learn from them. God I want to date Pokimane
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Pokimane
Do not call your significant other honey
Do 👏 not 👏 call 👏 your 👏 significant 👏 other 👏 honey 👏 unless 👏 you 👏 are 👏 a 👏 bee 👏 you 👏 are 👏 appropriating 👏 bee 👏 culture, 👏 this 👏 cannot 👏 bee 👏 accepted 👏
Bullish market makes me hard
When the stocks 📊📝 go up 📈💸, my dick goes too 🍆⬆️😳. Bullish 🐂 market 🏬 makes me hard 🦴💦. All the countries 🏳️🏴🏴☠️🏁🚩🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🇺🇳 try to recover 🔄 from corona 🦠 so the money 💰💵💸 flows 🌬 into my pocket 💳. Soon 🔜 there will be a crash 📉😭🥺😖 and the bears 🐻 will crawl 🚼 out of their holes 🕳. Then they cut off my greedy dick ✂️🍆🩸 if I don’t ❌ eat ’em out 👅😸. I must turn into a bear 🐂➡️🐻 and make 🤌🏼 more money 💰💵💸 and eat some honey 🐻🍯. When I’m done ✅ I’ll throw a party 🎉🍷🍾 and eat your ass 👅🍑.
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WallStreetBets
I downloaded Sonic games on my school computer
So yesterday in class we were all given our new Windows computers (last year, I hacked the chromebooks so they could play Sonic Advance) and I immediately downloaded twenty-five PC Sonic games within one hour and installed two dozen emulators to play the console and handheld ones. After we all got our computers, I bragged about having the ability to play 60 Sonic games. The teacher confisticated my computer and said I would have to use the chromebooks for the rest of the year. She also said that Sonic was a dead franchise and that Fortnite was better in every way. That was really no good and SLOW of her! So I ripped my computer out of my Sonic-hating teacher and screamed "YOU SLUTTY SLOW SONIC HATER! YOU'RE JUST TOO SLOW!" I also went to her macbook, and deleted Fortnite and installed more Sonic games and played Gotta Go Fast to the whole class. She gave me an F, which is impossible since E is the lowest rank and S is the highest, and sent me to the principal's office, where I was suspended and they called my parents, who took away my Game Gear. When I get back, I'll make sure they pay for being TOO SLOW.
LUL haHAA ariW
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