stabbed: Oit there mate, bit rude to put that knoife in me chest innit?
chewsday: It's chewsday innit?
BLM: Black lives ma-a
spiderman: peta paka
ffs: fuh funk saek
ROIGHT wots oll dis den
Covid-19: Cowvid Nointeen
fuck you: funk yew
sub to youtube: subscribe to my youchube
you look beautyfull: yu luuk beutiful loaf
you gotta be jk: yoove gOHt to be joe king
math is hard: mafffmatic is hard, innit!?
i saw a film: I soar a film
not botherd: I'm not movered
harry potter: arry pah uh
my son is now foh yes old
nice art: Roight, look aat thi meauchiful bloody wohk of aaaht
mtdew: mointain jew
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass
I currently have a Buzz Lightyear action figure stuck in my ass.
I am male if it matters. I've always been into putting things in my ass I don't know why, I'm not gay or anything I just like how it feels. Well I got drunk last night and decided to play with my ass and I hadn't gone shopping so I was out of carrots and cucumbers so I looked around and I saw my Buzz Lightyear action figure and thought "why not?" I've put action figures up there before because they feel different and it's funny. I grabbed Buzz, lubed him up and put him up against my asshole and started sliding him in. "To infinity and beyond!" I moaned as Buzz entered me.
The only problem is that he has those wings that expand and so they popped open nearly splitting me in half and now he's stuck in there and I can't get him out. I know I need to go to the emergency room but honestly I'm scared and ashamed. I've managed to hide it from my wife so far but I think she's getting suspicious and can tell something is wrong. I'm going to try to sneak to the ER later and hopefully get it taken care of without her finding out.
Confessions
Feels good to be a pleb
twitchquotes:
FEELS GOOD TO BE A PLEB
FEELS GOOD TO BE A PLEB
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Kripp
plebs vs subs
Groot in pot
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you can't spell "advertisements"
you can't spell "advertisements" without semen between tits
Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming
twitchquotes:
Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming, the reigning World Champions, 3-1? This series is going down in history. No one will ever dare to call NA a wildcard region again. It's not just C9 anymore, the gap is closed. 8 years of being memed as a 4fun region, 8 years of people laughing at Doublelift being an international choker, enough is enough. We poked this monster too much, it finally got pissed, woke up, and it's fucking hungry.
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