[Copypasta] Shots 1-5 clearly missed

Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control). Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses. Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
March 2021

CSGO

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/shots-1-5-clearly-missed
What happened to this ad? :(
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This player doesn't even use a monitor

I've seen [insert player here] play, he doesn't even use a monitor. He visualizes the map in a detailed rendering, completely in his mind. He has a biological wallhack; his godlike perception highlights all enemies within light-years. His eyes are closed as his mouse gracefully swerves across the table, making immaculate twitches as he flicks from head to head. The bullets that escape his gun barrel are surgical; each making a deadly strike in between his opponent's eyes.
July 2022

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Allu is a tactical genius

twitchquotes: Allu is a tactical genius. He is best known for his signature tactic ”going B, but then benching AleksiB”. He also has a second little known tactic of ”going A, but then going home without any wins”. What an absolute legend. Top 3 IGL 4 sure.
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October 2020

CSGO

CSGO rage

The only reason, the only reason you’re all laughing is because you don’t understand that I also played in a team before and it’s actually proper CS and not the kind of shit you play. I’m not gonna play matchmaking with you all because you’re all fucking useless anyway. You know why you’re better than me? Do you know why? Shut the fuck up you cunts. Tell me the answer, come on you fucking retards, laugh all you want you fucking dumbasses, honestly, fuck this. You’re all having a laugh and I’m trying to play a game and actually do something and fucking win. Fuck my dick.
April 2022

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I’m telling you, Ropz is as cracked as he is jacked

twitchquotes: I’m telling you, Ropz is as cracked as he is jacked. I saw him at a 7-11 the other day buying Monster and adult diapers. I asked him what the diapers were for and he said ”they contain my full power so I don’t completely shit on these kids“ then he bhopped out the door
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October 2020

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I pretended to be a girl in csgo

twitchquotes: I pretended to be a girl in csgo competitive matchmaking. At first we just played csgo together, but we worked up to more. I even skyped dressed as a sexy woman "with poor connection" so the video would blur. After many seductive photos of my ass in my sisters underwear I convinced him I was the real deal. It took me 3 weeks to become his girlfriend. Eventually I scammed this guy out of $600 because I convinced him I would come visit if he paid for the flight. I was lucky it paid off because i had spent nearly $200 on make up to pull off this con. He also gifted me over 20 games on steam. 11/10 would do again. It was actually a nice weekend when I flew to visit him and didn't even mind sucking cock. We're looking to move in together in October.
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