[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Eggplants appear after every word

twitchquotes: Guys ๐Ÿ† I ๐Ÿ† Was ๐Ÿ† On ๐Ÿ† Pornhub ๐Ÿ† And ๐Ÿ† I ๐Ÿ† Clicked ๐Ÿ† On ๐Ÿ† A ๐Ÿ† Link ๐Ÿ† That ๐Ÿ† Said ๐Ÿ† Local ๐Ÿ† Milfs ๐Ÿ† In ๐Ÿ† My ๐Ÿ† Area ๐Ÿ† And ๐Ÿ† Now ๐Ÿ† Eggplants ๐Ÿ† Appear ๐Ÿ† After ๐Ÿ† Every ๐Ÿ† Word ๐Ÿ† . ๐Ÿ† What ๐Ÿ† Do ๐Ÿ† I ๐Ÿ† Do ๐Ÿ†? ๐Ÿ†
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August 2019

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Kripp please pet your cat

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, Leon Tidewellow here, CEO of PETA. My sources tell me that you haven't pet your cat in over 3 years, and thats a little too long. I'll give you 5 minutes, if you don't pet the cat then you WILL be brofisted. Have a nice day!.
twitch chat
November 2014
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Hey chat, here's a high five for you

twitchquotes: (โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ ;็›Š;โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ) โ•ญโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโ•ฎ HEY CHAT HERE'S A HIGH FIVE FOR YOU (โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ ;็›Š;โ—žโ‰ผโ—‰เธทโ‰ฝโ—Ÿ) โ•ญโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโˆฉโ•ฎ
twitch chat
November 2014

Tiffany's chandelier

twitchquotes: I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier; it's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I love the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son. And he's the Chief of Police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years. She's never taken another lover. I don't care. I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.
twitch chat
November 2018

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

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