[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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BatChest

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⣀⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣀⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠚⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠐⠂⠄⠐⠂⠙⠻⢿⠟⠛⠄⠒⠈⠄⠒⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄⢀⣠⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣧⢀⣀⠄⢀⣆⣠⡀⠄⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣼⣿⣿⣜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡙⠉⠙⠋⠉⣹⣿⢿⡿⡿⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠘⠛⠑⠋⠄⣀⣀⣠⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠄⠈⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⢕⠠⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⣹⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠄⠄⠈⠂⠄⠛⠯⠥⠒⠁⠄⠄⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⡀⠄⠐⠄⢤⣤⢴⠚⠄⠄⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⣀⣀⠄⢀⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
October 2021

Emote

Valorant fanfic

twitchquotes: "Your aim is insane." Steel said, as he slipped his feminine hand into Hiko's pants and smirked. "Are you trying to spray me?" protests Hiko, as Steel blushes, the boyish figure undressed before Hiko. "Weak ass eco play, Steel." The two kissed, deeply and passionately, and afterwards Hiko dropped his Sova arrow into Steel's open bombsite.
twitch chat
October 2021
Hiko

Valorant

Goku

⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣷⣂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⡾⠯⠉⠉⠉⠉⠚⠑⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠭⠿⣿ ⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⣠⣾⣳⠁⠄⠄⢺⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣷⡦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⠃⢰⣿⣯⣿⡁⢔⡒⣶⣯⡄⢀⢄⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶ ⠓⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠸⠄⢀⣤⢘⣿⣿⣷⣷⣿⠛⣾⣿⣿⣆⠾⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠑⢘⣿⢰⡟⣿⣿⣷⣫⣭⣿⣾⣿⣿⣴⠏⠄⠄⢀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠶⠄⠄⠄⠹⣮⣹⡘⠛⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⡇⠑⢤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⡹⣿⣿⣷⣯⣽⣿⣿⡿⣋⣴⡀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣝⡻⢿⣿⡿⠋⡒⣾⣿⣧⢰⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⣏⣟⣼⢋⡾⣿⣿⣿⣘⣔⠙⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣛⡵⣻⠿⠟⠁⠛⠰⠿⢿⠿⡛⠉⠄⠄⢀⠄⠉⠉⢉ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⠩⠉⣠⣴⣶⢆⣴⡶⠿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠩⠄⠉⢀⠠⠂⠈⠄⠐⠄⠄⠄
August 2020

Flareon is better than Vaporeon for human companionship

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
March 2022

Pokemon

NA aka "Not Able"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Able," is a minor region in Riot's League of Legends that is often ridiculed for failing to show up at international performances. It is specifically known for the money wasted to bring in midlaners with dental problems from better regions.
twitch chat
July 2019

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Text-to-Speech Playing