[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

sneaky and meteos are out walking in the park

twitchquotes: Its a cold autum eve and sneaky and meteos are out walking in the park as the multicolored leaves dwindles down on top of their heads, meteos slowly slips his hand into sneakys as he gives him a devious smile. they then proceed into the bushes and through the park the words ''METEOOOs'' could be heard eccoing.
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July 2018
Sneaky

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Drunk children live outside

twitchquotes: Hello Reynad my name is Dennis, and I am 12. I drink 3 beers per day because of your stream. Mom said I am going to leave outside like a dog because drunk children live outside. I am sad. please help me.
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March 2014
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Ben Brode purifies Anduin

twitchquotes: Ben Brode twirls his fingers in Anduins soft dirty blond hair. "If I do this, will you make me great again?" Anduin asks as he starts to undress. "Just do as I say and I'll give you the next Dr. Boom". Anduin nods as Ben Brode slams his Temple Enforcer into Anduins 0/5 lightwell. After Boom-botting for 3 seconds, "HAAHAAHAA! YOU HAVE BEEN PURIFIED!" Brode yells as he SCAMAZes all over Anduins face.
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth

twitchquotes: Meanwhile in Kripp's mouth ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ใ€€~โ€ข ~โ€ข ใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ ~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ขใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€ใ€€~โ€ข
twitch chat
November 2014
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I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking (Nolan Grayson)

I'm shaking. I'm fucking shaking. I never wanted to breed with anyone more than I want to with Nolan Grayson. That perfect, shredded body. The perfectly trimmed mustache. The planet conquering skills of a literal god. It honestly fucking hurts knowing that I'll never mate with him, have him pass his genes through me, and have me birth a set of perfect offspring. I'd do fucking ANYTHING for the chance for Nolan Grayson to get me pregnant. A N Y T H I N G. And the fact that I can't is quite honestly too much to fucking bear. Why would Robert Kirkman create something so perfect? To fucking tantalize us? Fucking laugh in our faces?! Honestly, I just fucking can't anymore. Fuck.
June 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing