[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
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Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear

twitchquotes: Trump wakes up with a scream and hugs his stuffed bear, "I just had the most awful dream, I was about to be tucked by Kibler!" Trump's bear replies, "That wasn't a dream." As Trump recoils in horror, Kibler smirks, "It seems I'm about to tuck Frump."
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June 2015
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Kripp's the best arena player in the world

twitchquotes: All you idiots pretend like Kripp misplays, but really you know he's the best arena player in the world and that he hasn't made a misplay in the last 6 months, he just gets super unlucky you ignorant fools. You guys are so dumb that you'll probably copy and paste this message too, you morons.
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May 2015
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Addicted to copy pasta

twitchquotes: Hey Kripp. You got me addicted to copy pasta you sick ***. I was 19 and on my way to my dream job when you first gave me a hit of this junk. Now I'm cappucino dongeringos in back-alleys just for another copy pasta. I'm chasing that first high and I'm scared I'll rip in pepperinos soon if I don't find help. Pls no crop a dingo pace the rhino my story.
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games

twitchquotes: Octavian, this is Brian Weiss with Grinding Gear Games. We understand there was an issue with our last financial restructuring that inadvertently canceled the auto-pay into your account. We've gone ahead and rectified the issue, as well as forwarding an additional 10% as an apology. We look forward to your updated commentary regarding our latest content expansion for Path of Exile.
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August 2017
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sellout

Original Lollipoppy

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣄⣀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀ ⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠀⣠⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠁⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠉⠙⠺⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⡋⠁⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠹⠛⣻⠿⢿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠖⠀⠀⠈⠑⠤⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⠃⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⠇⠀⢀⣄⡈⠐⠤⡀⠃⠀⠀⠴⡛⠍⠙⠂⠉⠻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣤⣴⡶⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⢳⣿⠀⠚⠁⣀⡈⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⠀⣠⣾⣿⢿⣫⣽⣶⣶⣮⠭⣛ ⣦⡄⠀⣿⣿⣿⡏⣼⡇⠀⡔⠛⠛⠃⠑⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⠁⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⠿⢛⣻⣏⣴⣿ ⠻⢷⣤⣝⣿⣿⡇⢹⡇⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⡇⠀⠘⢻⠛⠛⠿⡆⠘⣛⣻⣿⣷ ⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠿⣧⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⡤⠔⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⠀⠷⠾⠮⠳⠤⠘⡻⢾⣭⡉⢣ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⢟⣽⣿⣿⡁⡀⠲⣶⣶⣯⡻⣾⣷⣭⣥⣮⢻ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⣿⣷⣦⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠚⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠟⠉⠀⠈⠻⢿⣿⣶⣿⠿⢻⣯ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⠻⣿⠿⠇⠛⠋⣯⣧⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠚⠉⠉
July 2022

League of Legends

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