[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

You have been gifted free happiness

twitchquotes: β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€” TwitchVotes You have been gifted free happiness. Type widepeepoHappy to activateβ€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”β€”
twitch chat
September 2020

Kripp wash your hands after toilet

twitchquotes: Hey @nl_Kripp , disabled former Streamer here. You're reacting pretty aggressive to your chat's worries regarding your hand washing after toilet. It seems you have something to hide. Let me tell you something: I was there too. I went to the toilet and didn't wash my hands. Nobody saw it, nobody would know it. But chat asked. And I lied. Then I got sick. My hands got infected from bacteria and had to be amputated. Now I can't play games any more for a living. Don't make the same mistake, Kripp.
twitch chat
December 2018
Kripp

Bender

───────────────────────────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–ˆβ–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ ──────────▄▄▀░░░▀▄▄────────── ────────▄▀░░░░░░░░░▀▄──────── ──────▄▀░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▄────── β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–€β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€β”€β”€β–€β–€β–€β”€β”€β”€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ”€ β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–„β”€β”€β”€β”€β”€β–„β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€ β”€β”€β–€β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–„β–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–„β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ”€β”€β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–€β–€β–ˆβ–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–€β–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–ˆβ–„β–„β–€β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ β”€β”€β”€β–β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–‘β–Œβ”€β”€β”€ ────▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀────
September 2021

NA aka "Not Able"

twitchquotes: NA, aka "Not Able," is a minor region in Riot's League of Legends that is often ridiculed for failing to show up at international performances. It is specifically known for the money wasted to bring in midlaners with dental problems from better regions.
twitch chat
July 2019

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Things are looking up for me (and down for you)

twitchquotes: I don’t need you. There are a whole lot of other streamers that deserve my time and support. As they say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Fish without husbands too... you liar skank. I will no longer be dedicating 1/3 of my day to moderating your chat. Let the wildebeests roam... and if you need me, I’ll be in STPeach’s chat from now on. You may not know this but I actually do watch her streams after yours are over. And I’ve been a 6 month subscriber as well... I donated her $30 the other day and said her outfit looked cute - she said I’m a sweetheart. Things are looking up for me (and down for you). This is where I bid farewell to you, have fun being a liar bitchface.
twitch chat
May 2020

Simps

Text-to-Speech Playing