[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

do u think that yoshi gets embarrassed (Shakespearean English)

Dost thou ponder if yoshi's constitution becomes discombobulated whence eggs are excreted afore Mario's gaze? My sincere apologies if thy bristles were tussled, however I believe this to be quite amusing. And, I am curious to perview a charcoal etching of this event, if only for a rousing chuckle. I'm also perplexed whence trying to place what eldritch odor would arise. This is only for a gaff, a ruse, merriment per se, I would like to smell them.
April 2021

Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend

twitchquotes: Hi Tyler i'm Adam, Macaiyla's Ex Boyfriend. I dont know why she choosed a 5´6 peanut looking guy over me (Im a 6´7 College athlete and i bench press 500 pounds) but im glad she came around a good fella like you. Remember she like watching at sunsets and reciving chin kisses! Have a good one Buddy!
twitch chat
October 2018
Tyler1

Chairarrian's message to Kripp

twitchquotes: Hᴇʏ Kʀɪᴘᴘ, ɪᴛs Cʜᴀɪʀᴀʀʀɪᴀɴ. I ᴄᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs ᴀɴʏᴍᴏʀᴇ, ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ʀᴀʟʟʏ ᴠᴇʜɪᴄʟᴇ,ɪ ᴄᴀɴᴛ sᴛᴀɴᴅ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴅɪʀᴛɪᴇʀ.
twitch chat
August 2014
Kripp

Sauté the Pepperoni

twitchquotes: First you boil some pasta, preferably Fagottini ( ͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ノ ~~~~~Then you sauté the Pepperoni ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━ (o o o)
twitch chat
March 2015
Kripp

Winston is basically an Anime character

twitchquotes: If you think about it, Winston is basically an Anime character. He has that epic anime leap, and that cliche genius anime glasses. I bet he gets all the ladies with his wit and charismatic humor. I wish I could be Winston, but I'm already winston :(
twitch chat
January 2019

Overwatch

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