[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

100% reason to go for the face

twitchquotes: 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% slowly ranking uphill, 5% topdeck, 50% race or just 100% reason to go for the face SMOrc
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary.

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger, it's scary. I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends. When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight, fight in american.) I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut fuck up Hange! I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control. When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am. I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin. When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries. I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.
April 2022

Anime

Weebs

Attack on Titan

Big boobs

April 2021

NSFW

Momo

⣿⣿⣿⡉⢀⣾⣿⡟⣩⣭⣭⡈⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄ ⣿⣿⡗⠄⣼⣿⣿⢸⡿⠉⠉⢻⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢠⠄ ⣿⡻⠁⢠⣿⣿⣿⣦⡛⠢⠴⠛⠁⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣉⣉⡙⢻⣿⣿⣗⠄⠄ ⠷⠁⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣷⣬⣭⣼⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⣾⠟⠛⢿⣿⣄⣿⣿⡏⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠳⢀⣀⡼⢟⣼⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣒⣲⣶⣾⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⠄⠄⠄⠸⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣉⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠⣷ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣷⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⡀⠄⠈⣿⣿⣶⣭⣭⣭⣿⣾⡿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠎⠄⠄⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⡲⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2019

How it feels to be a CSGO Liquid fan

I wake up from my slumber as the ray of sunlight passes the curtains and falls on my eyes, I sit on my bed for a while scrolling down through social media and then I make my way to the washroom. I sit on the toilet knowing this Liquid roster will never work out and as I defecate and the waste masses exit my body I look down and all I see is the current state of Liquid. As I flush the toilet I see the memories of the Intel Grand Slam run and all the other titles getting flushed and fading away into the pit of abyss. I look in the mirror and the flashbacks of last year's performances hit hard, I grab onto with the sheer force of hope. I hope that we shall rise one day, resurrect as a phoenix from the ashes but now it seems inevitable. The players on the team are way too passive and lord NAF himself cannot do anything. If you want to know how it feels to be a Liquid fan. It hurts everyday, every minute, every second, seeing my favorite team suffer. Seeing my lord NAF struggle in pain. The agony in his face and the sadness that multiplies every time they lose.
March 2022

CSGO

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