[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro

I was driving with a friend I grab his leg instead of the gearstick We both laugh and I unzip his pants I park the car while fondling with his balls, my friend is laughing because he knows it's a joke and we're just friends I start sucking his dick and was about to choke on it because I'm laughing so hard My friend is also laughing his ass off, he starts making train noise while yelling "BROJOB BROJOB CHOO CHOO" He then cums and then I swallow it all and kiss him while both laughing cuz we know it's a joke. Gotta love making jokes with my friends bro.
May 2022

Awooga Awooga

twitchquotes: *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
twitch chat
February 2020

Popeye

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠙⠛⠻⢷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⣿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠠⠤⠄⠘⠓⠒⠶⠦⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⡽⠂⠈⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡄⠀⠠⠁⠐⠂⠈⠁⠒⠂⠠⣤⠤⠤⠤⢀⠉⠻⣶⡀⠀⠘⣌⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⠿⠓⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⠉⠑⠙⢇⠒⠀⠄⠀⢹⣷⠀⠀⠨⢊⡔⠀⣀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠛⠉⠁⠀⢀⣴⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠀⠀⢀⣿⠏⢀⢔⠕⠁⠈⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⡟⠁⠀⢀⡤⠤⢤⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠘⣷⠚⠋⠁⠔⡁⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⠋⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠢⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⡄⠘⡶⠒⠚⠚⠻⡛⠛⠻⢶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣧⡀⠀⢿⡏⠀⠀⡈⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣉⠒⠦⠔⠀⠀⠉⠠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠀⠀⠹⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠷⣶⡇⠀⠀⠈⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠈⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⡀⢀⡀⠀⢀⣀⡔⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠲⠤⠤⠬⠠⠤⠞⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠠⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠧⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⠁⠉⠀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠀⢀⣼⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡏⠀⠀⢤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⠛⠛⠛⠻⠛⠛⠿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢷⣆⡀⠀⠈⠀⢠⡀⠀⠀⠑⠄⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⢁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣶⣤⠶⠛⢿⣦⡀⠀⠠⢀⠀⠀⣀⠔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠿⢶⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣤⣤⣶⣾⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
September 2021

Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer

twitchquotes: Honestly? If you think about it, Kirby is the best character Ultimate has to offer. D-tilt trips even at high %, his specials allow for mind games and early kills, the list goes on. While a top tier character, he requires the player to have a diverse skill set and deep understanding of the game to play. He's an underplayed, underappreciated gem of the smash roster but unfortunately, I think that less competent players like Nairo have a long way to go before utilizing him with his full potential.
twitch chat
May 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Inflatable seahorse

twitchquotes: This deck is gayer than a malaysian transvestite f*cking a man on an inflatable seahorse
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing