[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Chibi LeBlanc

⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⠿⠿⢿⡿⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⢾⣟⣯⣿⢯⣿⢯⣿⢯⡿⠯⠛⠋⠉⠠⠄⠠⠈⢀⠠⢹⣟⣿⡽⣟⢿⢾⢿⡿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⢿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣽⢿⡾⣟⣯⡿⠫⠉⡀⠂⠐⠈⡀⠂⡈⠠⠈⢀⠄⡈⢿⡷⡯⡺⡪⡽⣕⢟⢮⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⣟⣿⣻⢿⠉⠡⠐⠄⠄⢈⠄⡁⠠⠄⠄⠐⠈⠄⠄⢀⠸⣿⢯⢝⢮⢳⢝⡽⣕⢷⢝⡮⣳⢝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⢿⣽⣯⣿⡇⢁⠄⡁⠐⠄⠄⠠⠐⠄⠂⢁⠈⡀⠂⠠⠄⠹⣗⡝⣎⢯⡳⣝⢮⡳⣝⣞⢵⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣽⣟⣷⢿⣞⣷⡀⠄⠠⠈⡀⠂⠐⢀⠁⡈⠄⠄⡀⠂⡁⠄⠠⠓⣝⢎⣗⢽⡪⣗⡽⣺⡪⡯⡺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⢿⣽⡾⣟⣯⡿⣇⠄⢂⠠⠄⡈⠄⠄⡂⠄⡁⢂⠐⠠⠐⠄⡂⠠⠱⠣⠳⠝⠮⠳⠝⠞⡮⣫⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣿⣳⣿⣟⣯⣿⢿⡄⠂⠠⠁⠠⠈⡀⢂⠁⢂⠠⡈⠠⠈⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡠⣜⡵⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡽⣟⣾⣯⢿⡾⣟⣷⠄⡁⢈⠄⢡⢰⡰⣢⣳⠄⡯⡃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⣠⢤⣖⢾⡹⣝⢞⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣷⢿⣟⣷⡟⠟⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢗⣗⢽⣕⢗⠄⡼⢝⠄⠄⠄⠂⠄⠄⠄⢯⡳⣕⢯⡺⣕⢯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⡿⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠠⠄⣁⣓⢽⢵⣳⠏⣕⣒⠒⡆⠄⠄⡁⠄⠐⠄⢸⢮⡳⣝⣞⢽⢕⡯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣟⣷⣶⣶⣶⣾⣿⢿⡇⠄⠂⣻⢊⢰⢾⣻⣽⣿⣳⢰⢲⡃⠠⠄⠄⠄⢀⠈⠄⠄⠉⠌⠨⣁⡻⣪⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣳⡿⣾⢷⣿⡚⢁⠄⠄⣸⢽⢽⣾⣻⣯⣷⢿⣾⣽⣽⠁⠄⢀⠄⠂⠄⢀⠄⠈⡤⣳⢽⢕⡯⡳⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣽⡿⣾⣻⣷⡄⠄⠘⢿⣻⣾⢾⡷⣾⢿⡷⣿⢾⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣰⢌⢯⡺⣕⢯⡺⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⣷⣿⣻⣽⣾⢀⡆⠄⠄⠈⠙⠋⠛⠛⣋⣍⠁⠄⠄⠄⢀⠄⢀⠐⣜⣗⢽⣕⢯⣺⢳⣝⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣟⣖⣭⣝⠷⠯⣾⡿⣦⣀⠃⢀⣀⠶⣿⡽⠿⠆⠂⠄⡀⣾⡰⣝⢜⢮⢮⡳⣕⢯⢮⡳⡳⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣽⢷⣾⡃⢀⡄⠉⠙⠋⠄⢄⣻⣿⡗⢰⣾⣿⣷⠄⡁⠄⣿⡯⣪⡫⣺⢕⡯⣺⢝⡵⣫⢯⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣞⣯⡿⣷⢿⣟⣿⢷⣾⣄⣷⢿⠁⣯⢇⣿⣷⣿⠇⢀⢀⠂⠸⣯⣪⢺⡪⣗⡽⡮⣳⢽⡪⣗⢗⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣯⣿⣻⢿⣽⣯⡿⣷⣻⣽⠏⢀⣿⢸⣿⣿⣯⠄⡠⣸⡆⠠⠑⣕⢗⣝⢞⢮⡫⣞⢵⡫⣞⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⡿⣾⢯⣿⣻⢷⣯⡿⣯⡿⠁⡈⠙⡿⠘⠿⠟⢛⣁⡠⠘⢿⣆⠄⠘⠵⣕⢯⡳⡽⡺⣕⡟⡮⡮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣻⣯⣷⢿⣻⡷⣿⢯⡟⠄⢪⣴⣄⠠⣠⣾⡿⣟⣇⢠⠘⢿⣀⣡⣬⡺⣕⢯⡫⡯⡺⡮⡯⣺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⣾⣻⣾⣻⣟⣯⣿⣻⣟⠃⣴⣾⢿⣻⣧⠪⣷⡿⢛⣩⣴⡶⡈⢷⣫⡳⡯⣳⢝⡮⡯⣫⢞⣝⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣻⣽⡾⣯⣿⣽⡾⣯⡟⠄⠿⣾⢿⣟⡎⠂⠉⣶⢿⣻⡽⠋⡀⠄⢞⣜⢮⣳⡫⣞⣝⢮⢯⡺⡵⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣯⣿⣷⣿⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿⠇⠄⠠⠄⡙⠙⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⠋⠄⠄⠠⠄⠈⢮⣺⡪⣞⡵⡳⡽⡵⣝⣞⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠐⡀⠐⢨⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣦⣌⠄⢂⠄⠄⠄⠳⣝⢞⢮⢯⡳⣝⢮⢮⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠂⠠⠈⣿⣇⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣮⡀⠄⠡⣀⠄⠘⠹⡵⣳⢝⡮⡯⡺⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⣀⣿⣿⣆⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠂⣯⡫⣖⣖⢮⣳⣝⢮⣏⢯⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣶⣶⣶⡲⣖⡎⠄⣼⣻⡻⣻⣪⡻⡯⣟⢯⣟⢯⢯⠰⡱⣝⣞⣮⣟⣞⣞⣵⣳⣝⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣾⣵⣥⣜⣷⣕⣯⣳⣳⣽⣝⣞⣗⣽⣽⣝⣵⣯⣳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
September 2021

League of Legends

Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian

twitchquotes: Hello, Kripparrian, this is your ass, Assarrian, with a humble request to stop talking out of me. I know it's fun to pretend like you have any idea what you're talking about, and to pull random statistics out of me to support whatever point you're awkwardly trying to make, but come on! I have a hard enough time dealing with the vegan garbage in your digestive tract! Do us both a favor and use your brain once in a while! Thanks! - Assarrian.
twitch chat
December 2017
Kripp

Classic

Sneaky can you please try to win more games

twitchquotes: Sadge Sneaky can you please try to win more games. I told my friends to check out this amazing streamer and they are all watching today and making fun of me because I'm watching an one win streamer. I'm feeling so ashamed right now but still believe in you! Please prove them wrong
twitch chat
August 2020
Sneaky

SO MALD

⢰⡟⠛⠂⢠⡾⠛⠻⣶⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⡄⠀⣰⢿⡇⠀⢰⣿⣇⠀⢰⣿⠀⠀⢸⡟⠛⢶⡄ ⠘⠻⣶⡄⢸⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣿⡏⣷⢠⡟⢸⡇⠀⣾⣁⣿⡄⢸⣿⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⢸⡇ ⢠⣤⣼⠏⠘⢷⣤⣴⠿⠀⠀⠀⢿⡇⢸⣿⠁⢸⡇⣸⠏⠉⠹⣷⠸⣿⣤ ⢸⣧⣤⡾
July 2019

My family keeps making Amongus references

It seems like the more I (13 M) play Amongus, the more my family tries to embaras me. The other day, I overheard my dad (49 M) say that he needed to "complete tasks" while working at home😯🤬 don't worry it gets worse. Then I hear my Mom (42 F) say that the amount of time I spend on my computer is "suspiscios." Ummm ok so (#1) ur too good to say "sus" 🤔 and (#2) u dont even play amogus??? 😂😂😂. Even my moms work friend (28 M or somthing idk) came over yesterday to "look at her vents" I'm not even making this up 🙄🙄🙄 But then the worse part😑 every sunday my granpa (69 M) comes over. He reminisces about his "Crewmates" from his Navy days and apparently a few of them died so u cry about it at dinner? Just start a new game FFS 😆 but he's lying so uhhh we get it bro: u just want attention 😯😅🤣 The problem is NONE of them even Play Omungus. How do i tell em that being a poser is a cringe Brie Larson unholesome Black History Month anti-chungus move?
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Text-to-Speech Playing