[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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WeebsIn

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⢸⡿⢿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿⢸⡇⣮⢻⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⣿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠆⣿⢸⡇⣿⣧⡻⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⣿⢀⣠⢶⣟⢽⣿⣶⣨⣝⢕⠦⣀⢀⣠⣶⡆⠿⠸⠇⣿⣿⣷⢹⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡿⠘⣻⣹⡸⣞⢿⡿⡽⡿⣷⠡⣜⡪⠋⠄⢀⣀⣤⡀⠄⠉⠛⠸⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⢸⣼⣶⡇⡽⢿⣿⡜⣬⢞⣷⣤⢀⠐⣶⣦⣸⣿⡇⠄⠄⢀⠄⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⢘⠻⣿⣇⣟⣑⡻⣿⡐⢡⣺⡿⣸⣷⠾⠿⣿⣿⣇⢀⠠⠡⡀⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢸⡇⡟⣽⢻⣞⢸⣿⣮⢎⠳⠸⠇⣇⡂⢿⡫⢹⣉⣭⣭⠘⣣⣴⣢⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣸⡇⠄⡿⡄⣱⡤⠤⣼⣿⣾⣿⣶⣯⡛⡫⣿⣿⣿⡿⠏⠄⣿⡶⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠁⠄⠙⡵⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⢾⣿⡿⢁⣬⡙⢿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⢿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⠄⢠⢸⡞⠈⠻⢿⣿⣷⣶⣿⠏⠄⠰⣿⡆⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣼⣾⡍⠲⡄⠄ ⣿⠄⢯⠌⠻⣀⣰⢄⡲⢿⣿⡘⠄⠄⡔⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠠⣔⠲⣥⢄⠂⠁⢹⠑ ⣿⢠⣾⣃⡞⣥⣼⡿⡿⢷⡹⠇⢀⠊⠄⠄⠄⣀⠠⠔⠄⠐⠒⠙⠮⠄⠄⠄⠘⡄ ⣿⠸⣶⣸⡿⣫⠔⠂⠑⠲⠄⠆⠄⠄⠄⢠⠚⠋⠤⢄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠣ ⡟⠄⠭⡼⣥⡁⠄⠄⠄⠛⣠⣦⣤⡤⠈⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⡦⠄⢀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄ ⡇⣬⠍⠄⢶⡒⣖⢦⣤⣾⣿⡏⡏⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣨⣶⣷⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄
June 2021

Weebs

Only the chosen one can stack these cans!

twitchquotes: DrinkPurple Only the chosen one can stack these cans! PogChamp DrinkPurple but wait PogChamp can you do three cans! PogChamp PogChamp !! DrinkPurple
twitch chat
August 2016

Classic

Why is my BLACK friend so racist?

So I was playing chess with my BLACK friend the other day and something rather curious happened. As we were about to start playing he asked, “Could I play as white this time?” Why is my BLACK friend being so racist????? Clearly your color doesn’t matter and as privileged white man myself I could not bear listening to these words!!!!!! Black? White? It’s all the same guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 2021

Chess

Peeking Anime Girl

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠙⠾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣿ ⠋⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠁⠀⠀⢀⠠⠐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠁⠀⠈⠻⢾⣿⣾⣿⣾⣟⣿ ⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠔⠃⠀⠀⠠⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠆⠀⠀⠄⠀⠙⣾⣷⣿⢿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢰⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠈⡀⠀⠈⢿⣟⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⢀⡜⣐⠃⠀⠀⠀⣠⠁⡄⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿ ⠀⢠⠆⢠⡃⠀⠀⠀⣔⠆⡘⡇⢘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿ ⢀⡆⠀⡼⢣⠀⢀⠌⢸⢠⠇⡇⢘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿ ⣼⣃⠀⠁⢸⢀⠎⠀⢸⠎⠀⢸⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠃⡏⠟⣷⣤⠁⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡾⢀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠀⣿ ⠀⠀⣀⣿⣿⣿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⡧⠋⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠠⡘⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿ ⠈⠀⢿⢗⡻⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠱⡀⠀⠀⢰⠁⡇⠀⠀⢨⠃⡄⢀⠀⣸⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣱⠀⠀⡎⠸⠁⠀⢀⠞⡸⠀⡜⢠⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣺⣿⣧⢰⣧⡁⡄⠀⡞⠰⠁⡸⣠⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⡿⠏⣿⠟⢁⠾⢛⣧⢼⠁⠀⠀⢰⣿⡿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠡⠄⠀⡠⣚⡷⠊⠀⠀⠀⣿⡿⣿⡿⣿ ⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠊⠁⢸⠁⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿ ⠱⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠙⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⠖⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣾⡿⣷⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⣩⡞⠉⠁⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿ ⡆⠀⠀⣀⡠⠞⠁⣧⢤⣀⣀⣀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿⣿ ⣿⣷⠊⠁⠀⠀⡰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣹⠶⢦⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣷⣿⣷⣿ ⣿⢿⠀⠀⠀⡔⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⡄⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣾⣷⣿⣿ ⠋⠈⠀⢀⠜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠈⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣽⣾⣿ ⢀⡄⡠⠊⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣻⣿ ⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠐⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣻⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣃⡇⠀⠲⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⡿⣿ ⣀⠤⠤⠤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡴⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢬⠞⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⡁⢀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠁⠀⠇⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠔⠃⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⡃⠀⠀⠙⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿ ⠒⠊⠀⠀⢸⠀⣸⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡞⠀⠀⠀⢅⠀⠀⡂⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⣿⣟⣿ ⠓⠀⠉⠀⢸⣰⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜⡆⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿ ⠉⠁⠀⢠⠞⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⡇⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣿ ⡀⠀⢀⢿⣥⡤⠤⠤⠤⣀⣀⢠⠇⠀⢸⠀⠀⢰⠁⠀⢨⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣟⣿
December 2021

Weebs

Anime

Sonic Inflation

Today I learned that in 2003 the fast food company “Sonic” began printing out their own money to pay their workers. This led to a huge inflation in the economy and was one of the leading factors of the 2008-2009 recession. Would highly recommend looking up Sonic Inflation on google if you want to learn more.
April 2021
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