[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I know my opinion is irrelevant because I am a pleb

twitchquotes: I know my opinion is irrelevant because I am a pleb, but hear me out. Are us plebs as insignificant as we are made out to be? If there were no plebs, could there be any subs? I know were seen as copypasta bots, but I am a pleb and I am PROUD. SET AN EXAMPLE FOR US, FELLOW PLEBS, DO NOT FUCKING COPY AND PASTE THIS!
twitch chat
January 2015
imaqtpie

plebs vs subs

FLIP THAT TABLE

(โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP THAT TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ใƒฝ(ยฐโ–กยฐใƒฝ) FLIP THIS TABLE. โ”ปโ”โ”ป ๏ธต ๏ผผ\('0')/๏ผ ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป FLIP ALL THE TABLES เฒ _เฒ  Son... เฒ _เฒ  Put. เฒ __เฒ  The tables. เฒ ___เฒ  Back. (โ•ฎยฐ-ยฐ)โ•ฎโ”ณโ”โ”ณ (โ•ฏยฐโ–กยฐ)โ•ฏ๏ธต โ”ปโ”โ”ป NEVER!!!!
July 2015

Classic

Daddy, are the Spammers gone?

twitchquotes: โ”ปโ”ณ| โ€ข.โ€ข) Daddy, are the Spammers Gone? โ”ปโ”ณ|(า‚`_ยด) ,๏ธปโ•ฆโ•คโ”€ า‰ NOPE,SON GET BACK IN YOUR BEDROOM
twitch chat
February 2016
Riot Games

Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends player

twitchquotes: "Riot games made 5 Dominable League of Legends players who strove to be the best, Imaqtpie, Faker, EU Sucks, and 3 others" - Imaqtpie....
twitch chat
February 2015
imaqtpie

League of Legends

EU vs NA

Kappa Nazi

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘
November 2014
Text-to-Speech Playing