[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta!

Oh great! Another 2 sentence long pasta! What a game changer! I'm sure the 5 measly lines of text you just posted are going to be the next big copypasta in no time! This is hilarious! Great Stuff! I can really see this being the next big thing! It's gonna be the next "Navy Seal" or "Penguin Of Doom", I can feel it! I love how short and boring it was! Extra points for being extremely forgettable with no interesting lines, a complete lack of tone, and, as I mentioned earlier, an extremely compact 30 to 40 word length! You know what you should do? You should, unprompted, post this godawful pasta in the comments of a post on a separate subreddit and when people downvote you you can post it to r/AteThePasta! Now that would be funny! Almost as funny as the pasta itself, which, may I remind you, is extremely short! God I can't believe you came up with this all on your own! Thanks so much for this! It's truly a gift! And it made me realise that no matter how hard I try I will never find a copypasta as funny as this roughly 30 word paragraph that has already been forgotten by the 47 people who upvoted it, and the 20 people who commented !thesaurizethis over and over again! And I should give up all hope of coming up with such a great pasta in my life, so I'm simply going to kill myself tonight! This is your fault! Your copypasta made me kill myself! I'm going to write your reddit username in my suicide note, as well as the entire copypasta, which I should have no trouble fitting on the page since it's so fucking short! Thanks again! ๐Ÿ˜
May 2022

The ogrelord. Shrek.

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Shrek

๐Ÿ†HAPPY SPANKSGIVING๐Ÿ’ฆ

โ€ผ๏ธITS๐Ÿ— SPANKSGIVING ๐Ÿ‚ BITCHESโ€ผ๏ธOn this day ๐Ÿ—“ many years ago ๐Ÿ˜ฎ the SLUTTY ๐Ÿ‘  PILGRIMS ๐ŸŽฉ sailed โ›ต๏ธ across the ASSlantic ๐ŸŒŠ HOEcean in a quest ๐Ÿ‘€to find ๐Ÿ”Ž more ๐Ÿ˜ COCKS ๐Ÿ† to SUCK! ๐Ÿ‘… Together with the ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NAUGHTY ๐Ÿ˜ˆ NATIVES ๐Ÿ‘น, they gathered ๐Ÿ‘ซ around the dinner table ๐Ÿฝ and had ๐ŸŽ‰ our nationโ€™s very 1๏ธโƒฃst GANG BANG! ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ‘ฏ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚๏ธ We honor ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป their ORGY ๐Ÿ˜ฎ every year ๐Ÿ“† by giving THANKS ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ to all ๐Ÿฅฐ thatโ€™s important โค๏ธ to us: Family ๐Ÿ‘จโ€๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, Friends ๐Ÿ‘ฌ, Freedom ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ, and DICK! ๐Ÿ†๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿ‘… So grab your BUNS, ๐ŸžโœŠ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘Œsqueeze those BREASTS, ๐Ÿ—๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿคฒ and shove a cornaCOPIOUS ๐ŸŒฝ๐ŸŒฝ amount of DICK ๐Ÿ† ๐Ÿ˜ฉ into that hungry ๐Ÿ˜ฎ hungry HOLE! ๐Ÿ•ณ๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ‘… Ladies ๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๏ธ, just like your ๐Ÿฆƒ THOTSgiving ๐Ÿฆƒ turkey, itโ€™s time โฐ to throw your legs ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธin the air ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธand prepare to get โžก๏ธ STUFFED ๐Ÿ™€! After dinner,๐Ÿดitโ€™s time ๐Ÿ˜ฎ for CUMPKIN PIE!! ๐Ÿฅง Show Daddy ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿฝโ€๐Ÿฆณ how ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ you are and LICKK ๐Ÿ˜› his WishBONE ๐Ÿฆด until he gets as HARD ๐Ÿ”as PlyMOUTH rock โ›ฐ and shoots ๐Ÿ’ฆ his HOMEADE GRAVY ๐Ÿฅฃ! ๐Ÿ‘… Midnight ๐ŸŒ™ starts ๐Ÿ˜ˆ BLACK โฌ›๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ› so send ๐Ÿ“ค this to ๐Ÿ”Ÿ THOTS ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธyou are thankful ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ for! If you get 0๏ธโƒฃ back, sail ๐Ÿ”™ to England ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿป๐Ÿคฎ If you get 5๏ธโƒฃ back, youโ€™ll be getting your corn ๐ŸŒฝ CREAMED ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿฅฐ. Get ๐Ÿ”Ÿ back or more, and the ๐Ÿ™€ BIGGEST, ๐Ÿ™€ GIRTHIEST, BLACKโšซ๏ธ FRIDAY ๐Ÿ† COCK ๐Ÿ˜ฑ is CUMMING ๐Ÿ’ฆYOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜
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Emoji Pasta

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โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘ โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘ โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–โ–‘โ–โ–Œโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ–‘ โ–โ–Œโ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–Œโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–‘โ–โ–‘ โ–‘โ–Œโ–โ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–Œโ–โ–€ โ–‘โ–โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–Œโ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
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Dota 2

Chocolate Rain Copypasta

twitchquotes: ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰ chocolate rain ใƒฝเผผเบˆู„อœเบˆเผฝ๏พ‰ ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝใ€ใƒฝใƒฝ๏ฝ€ใƒฝ
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February 2015
TayZondayGames
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