[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster

twitchquotes: Hi Kripp this is Battlemaster's wife Housewifemaster, i've noticed that my husband is never home to play with the Childrenmasters and they are really missing their Fathermaster. Could you choose my dear Husbandmaster less so that my kids can grow up with an actual Dadmaster? Thank you Kripp, maybe he can take you to Gymmaster so you can put some muscle on that scrawny vegan body.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

The current meta is so good STUNNED

twitchquotes: hey chat *STUNNED* the current *STUNNED* meta is so *STUNNED* good, as a *STUNNED* tank main i *STUNNED* find myself *STUNNED* getting more *STUNNED* compliments for *STUNNED* shatters
twitch chat
July 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Wallstreetbet's Christmas break

Gonna be checking the market every chance I get while pretending to think my brother-in-law's Cards Against Humanity answers are funny.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

BibleThump

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⣾⣿⡿⠟⡋⠉⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠉⠙⠻⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄ ⠄⢠⣿⡏⢰⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣾⣿⣷⠄⠄⠘⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠸⣿⣇⠈⠉⠉⠄⠄⢀⣼⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣄⠙⠛⠁⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⢿⣿⡇⠄⠄⠄⣶⣿⣿⢁⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⠄⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠈⢹⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠈⢿⡗⠄⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠳⡀⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠌⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠻⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
May 2020

Kripp Jr

twitchquotes: The year is 2020 Kripp is playing Hearthstone with his son Kripp Jr. "Looks like you lose Daddy hehe, but I still love you!", he says topdeckingly... "Oh my *** god dude thats *** unreal, how can I lose to people this bad", Kripp spits coldly with hate in his eyes. Kripp Jr. begins to cry....
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing