[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
What happened to this ad? :(
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Bender

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–ˆโ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–Œโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
ascii art
September 2021

i just love typing in chat K A P P A

twitchquotes: i just love typing in chat K A P P A it makes me feel so safe and good inside, its almost like eating Fruit Loops(TM) with sum good ass milk watching Dexter's Laboratory (Cartoon Network back when it was good) on a Sunday Morning back when my parents were still together, so I will now do it: Kappa
twitch chat
August 2019

Kappa Nazi

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–“โ–‘ โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–“โ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–“โ–’โ–‘ โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–“โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–“โ–’โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–“โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–“โ–“โ–“โ–ˆโ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–’โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–“โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘
ascii art
November 2014

Sloth

โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ฟโ ปโ ฟโขฟโกฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ Ÿโ ‰โ ˆโ ‰โ ‰โ „โข โ „โ „โข€โ „โ „โกฌโ ›โขฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโกฟโ ‰โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ …โ „โ …โ „โ โ „โ „โ „โ โ คโ „โ ›โขฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โฃ€โฃ€โ „โฃ€โฃ โฃ€โ „โขˆโฃ‘โฃขโฃคโก„โ ”โ ซโขปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ โฃฟโกโ ‚โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃคโฃคโฃถโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฎโฃ”โ ‚โก™โฃฟโฃฟ โกฟโ „โ „โฃ โฃผโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฆโฃˆโฃฟ โ ‡โ „โข โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกŸโ ฟโ ฟโขฟโกฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกงโฃผ โ „โ „โ ฝโ ฟโ Ÿโ ‹โ โ ™โ „โข โฃฟโกฟโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโก โขŒโฃงโ „โ ˆโ ›โ ‰โ ›โ โก‹โขน โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โข€โฃ โฃพโกฟโ ‘โ šโ ‹โ ›โ ›โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃถโฃคโก„โข€โฃ€โฃ€โก€โ ˆโ „โขธ โฃ„โ „โ „โ „โขฐโฃพโ Ÿโ ‹โ ›โ ›โ ‚โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ’โ ‚โ ›โกฟโขŸโ ปโ ƒโ „โขผโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ คโ โขธ โฃฟโก„โ „โข€โขโข“โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ  โ  โ ถโขบโฃฟโฃฏโฃตโฃฆโฃดโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ „โขธ โฃฟโฃฟโก€โ „โ ˆโ „โ „โ „โ  โขพโฃทโฃ„โข„โฃ€โกˆโก€โ  โฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ ฟโขโฃ€โฃพ โฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃ„โ „โ „โ „โข€โ ˆโ ˆโ ™โ ‘โ —โ ™โ ™โ ›โ „โ ˆโ นโ ปโขฟโกปโฃฟโ ฟโขฟโฃโก‘โขซโฃพโฃฟ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃ†โก€โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ „โ ‘โ โ šโฃจโฃคโฃพโฃฟโฃฟ
ascii art
November 2018

Trolling My Office With Among Us

There was a meme of a person trolling their school with Among Us. I am doing that to my office.My coworkers were working at their desks and I went up behind one of them. I yelled "When the imposter is sus!" and did the grin (from the meme) and hoped he would get it. He told me to go away so I slapped him and said "SUS! EJECT HIM!" Everybody was looking at me from throughout the office. I said "You're all impostors!" If they don't get the reference they are imposters! I ran over to the douchebag Jerry and smacked him, but he pushed me away and started calling the office. He got on the call but I got on the phone and said "HAHAHA YOU'RE A BIT SUSSY! DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN" like the Among Drip theme song I ran out the door because I don't want to work with a bunch of LOSERS.
March 2021

Among Us / Amogus

Trolling with Among Us

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