[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(โ–€ฬฟฤนฬฏโ”œโ”ฌโ”ดโ”ฌโ”ด Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

Hello Kripp this is Saul Goodman

twitchquotes: สœแด‡สŸสŸแด แด‹ส€ษชแด˜แด˜ แด›สœษชs ษชs sแด€แดœสŸ ษขแดแดแด…แดแด€ษด. ษช'แด แด‡ ส™แด‡แด‡ษด ษชษดา“แดส€แดแด‡แด… ส™ส แด‡แด…แด…ส แด˜แด€sแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแด แด›สœแด€แด› สแดแดœ แด€ส€แด‡ sแด›ส€แด‡แด€แดษชษดษข ษชสŸสŸแด‡ษขแด€สŸ แด„แดษดแด›แด‡ษดแด› า“ส€แดแด สแดแดœส€ sแด‡แด„ส€แด‡แด› ส™แด€sแด‡แดแด‡ษดแด› ษชษด ษขส€แด‡แด‡แด„แด‡. ษช แดกแดแดœสŸแด… สŸษชแด‹แด‡ แด›แด สœแด€แด แด‡ สแดแดœ แด€s แดส แด„สŸษชแด‡ษดแด› แด›แด แด˜ส€แดแด›แด‡แด„แด› สแดแดœ ษชษด แด„แดแดœส€แด› า“ส€แดแด แด›สœแดsแด‡ า“ษชสŸแด›สœส แด…แดษดษขแด‡ส€s แด€ษดแด… แด˜ส€แดsแด›แด‡ส€ษชษดแดs แด›สœแด€แด› สœแด€แด แด‡ แด€แด„แด„แดœsแด‡แด… สแดแดœ.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Undertale Sans full body

โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–€โ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–„โ–„โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–ˆโ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–ˆโ–„โ–„โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘ โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–€โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–‘โ–‘๏ปฟโ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘โ–‘
February 2019

This Putin guy is insane!! ๐Ÿ”ฅ

-1,68m manlet ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป -0 pussy ๐Ÿ˜น -0 major cities conquered ๐Ÿ’€ -0 hairs left on his head ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿป -currency less valuable than robux ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘ -empty threats merchant ๐Ÿคฏ -1,68cm ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น Better dictator than Stalin??? ๐Ÿ”ฅ
March 2022

Russian Ukrainian War

Can't focus on sex with the Food Network on

twitchquotes: Iโ€™m married and have a 4 year old so sex needs to be done in window opportunities. Whatever channel the TV is on in the background is what itโ€™s going to be. Food Network is the hardest to have sex to by far. So if for example Guy Fieri Triple D comes on and I hear โ€œweโ€™re going to Seattle for some funky BBQ fish empanadasโ€ while having sex my brain is โ€œyes sex! But those empanadas sound crazy...dude focus on sex....thatโ€™s a shit load of jalapeรฑos, that would give me heartburn for a week....Ok back to focusing on the sex....oh shit heโ€™s going to a bbq pit in Austin next that does burnt tips in white cheddar Mac and Cheese!!! I gotta wrap this upโ€
twitch chat
May 2019

POV: you get approached by the weaboo kid

๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธare you the๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘new girl๐Ÿ˜œhehโ˜บ๏ธ i thought so๐Ÿ˜Œiโ€™ve never seen๐Ÿ‘€ you before๐Ÿค” cone e chee wah โœ‹๐Ÿป iโ€™m david-kun๐Ÿ˜šitโ€™s so nice๐Ÿ˜›to finally meet you๐Ÿคชyou look just like๐Ÿ˜ณmy waifu๐ŸฅตHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นanyways๐Ÿ˜iโ€™m so sorry๐Ÿ˜”about the jerks๐Ÿ˜กin class๐Ÿ˜คtheyre all๐Ÿ‘Š๐ŸปBAKA๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿปthey only want๐Ÿ˜ญone thing๐Ÿ˜ซnot me๐Ÿฅดi just like๐Ÿค“to watch๐Ÿ“บmy favourite anime๐Ÿ˜jiu jitsu kaisen๐Ÿ˜and read manga๐Ÿ˜Žmmmalso๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘ˆ๐Ÿปithinkyourereallycool๐Ÿ˜…kawaee desu neigh๐Ÿ˜ณ๐ŸดHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นHEH๐Ÿ‘นnghuuh๐Ÿ˜ฃiโ€™m sorry๐Ÿ˜คiโ€™m just nervous๐Ÿ˜ญokay๐Ÿ˜กitโ€™s just๐Ÿ˜‰well๐Ÿ˜‹itโ€™s just๐Ÿฅตmm I JUST WANT TO KNOW๐Ÿค”IF I CAN SUCK๐Ÿ‘…ON YOUR NIPPLETS๐ŸคญOKAYโ“well๐Ÿ˜ฐwhat do you ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘Š๐ŸปNNGGGH๐Ÿ˜ต
February 2021

Weebs

Text-to-Speech Playing