[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Cinco de Mayo Emoji Pasta v4

It’s CincHOE🎉 de mayHOE😈😘but all I want 🙏🏻 is cinco🖐️5️⃣ DICKS 🌯🍆💦 in my May-OUTH 😩👅💦 Today the SEXicans 😍🇲🇽 beat the French 😒🇫🇷 at the Battle of Puebla 🔫☠ and now you’re gonna get your piñata beat 😜😩 Time to sink this Mexican🇲🇽 dick🍆 into that dirty😳 chihuahua pussy🐶 but❗️ONLY❗️ if you send 📲 this to 5️⃣ amigos 👬 you’d cross borders ➡️ for 👌🏻💯 Get 5️⃣ back 🔙 and you’ll find the Juan for you tonight ❤️☺️😘
May 2022

Cinco de Mayo

Emoji Pasta

Holiday Emoji

Holiday

Thinking Emoji

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May 2017

Classic

Gaben

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠛⠉⠉⠉⠉⠋⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛⠻⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣔⢤⣄⡀⠄⡄⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿ ⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣨⣵⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣦⣤⣀⣿⣷⡐⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⢚⣿ ⣆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠛⠛⠛⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣻⣄⣤⣮⡝⣿ ⣿⠆⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠘⣿⡗⡕⣋⢉⣩⣽⣬⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣝⣻⣷⣿ ⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠠⢀⠄⠄⠁⠄⠄⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠰⣶⡗⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣌⠙⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡛⠱⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠨⡿⠿⠿⣿⣟⣿⣯⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⢷⣦⠄⠄⠐⢶⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡄⠄⠄⠉⠄⠄⠄⢉⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄ ⣿⠿⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄
December 2018

Your sorry excuse for a job

twitchquotes: Kripp, how does it feel that by me disabling adblock I control whether or not your sorry excuse for a job continues existing
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Handsome Shrek

⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢩⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡧⣦⠄⢧⡙⢿⣟⢁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣦⡈⠂⠄⠸⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠰⢠⣼ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⢒⣂⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢛⣻⣿⣿⡟⢁⣠⣴⣶⣶ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢇⡄⣆⣤⣀⣦⡄⢈⣉⣛⣭⡀⠙⠭⡛⠿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢃⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣷⡾⣼⣿⠈⠉⠄⠄⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄⢿⣿⣿⣿⣥⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⢸⣿⡿⠿⠄⠈⠛⢟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣄⣀⡲⢦⣤⣼⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄ ⠛⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣟⠻⠿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠻⣷⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢡⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄ ⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣉⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⣿⣧⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠉⠁⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄
March 2021

Shrek

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