[Copypasta] mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020
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How do you do, fellow homosexuals?

Hello, fellow homosexuals. It is us, [MULTI-BILLION DOLLAR CORPORATION]. Here to remind you that we support your lifestyle now that it has been federally legalised and it is completely socially safe, allowing for us to capitalise on your existence now it's mainstream. Look, we even changed the colours of [LOGO]! Why did we wait this long to come out and 'support' you? Haha, no more questions, homosexual. Buy our product. Buy our product. BUY OUR PRODUCT.
June 2019

Classic

Do you guys mind not spamming the chat so much?

twitchquotes: 𝔻𝕠 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕕 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕠 𝕞𝕦𝕔𝕙? 𝕀'𝕞 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕥𝕣𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕡𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕥𝕥𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕞𝕖. 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖𝕕 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕢𝕦𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕪 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕠𝕣 𝕄𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕙𝕚𝕞𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕡 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕡𝕒𝕞𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕡𝕪𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕡𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘. 𝔾𝕠𝕕, 𝕀 𝕤𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙. ℂ𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕𝕟'𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕛𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕚𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕗𝕖?
twitch chat
February 2018
MOONMOON

You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA

twitchquotes: This is Comcast. You have exceeded your monthly allowance of haHAA and will pay overage fees of $20 per haHAA for the rest of this billing cycle.
twitch chat
July 2017

NFL football teams allow kickers that just miss

twitchquotes: I’ll never understand how college and NFL football teams allow kickers that just.... miss... kicks. I feel like there has to be pools of kickers in the USA that won’t miss simple kicks. Or snappers that won’t mess the snaps idk man it seems so SILLY. Would love opinions on this.
twitch chat
December 2019

Duck with cap

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣉⡥⠶⢶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣆⠉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢡⡞⠁⠀⠀⠤⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠀⢻⣦⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠘⡁⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣈⣁⣐⡒⠢⢤⡈⠛⢿⡄⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠉⠐⠄⡈⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⠁⢈⣿⡄⠀⢀⣀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⣡⣶⣶⣬⣭⣥⣴⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣶⣾⣿⣧⠀⣼⣿⣷⣌⡻⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⠟⣋⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⢻ ⡏⠰⢾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢂⣭⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠘⠛⠛⢉⣉⣠⣴⣾ ⣿⣷⣦⣬⣍⣉⣉⣛⣛⣉⠉⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
December 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing