Let's say for a minute, that hypothetically, everyone was in fact kung fu fighting. Now statistically speaking of course, this is impossible. Now hypothetically if they were, hypothetically of course. Now, would they all be performing the same so called Kung Fu move? Statistically speaking that is highly unlikely. This would also, hypothetically, be quite dangerous if it were to actually occur. Coming from a medical official, my wife, who is a doctor, she says that hypothetically, this would be dangerous. So, logically, this would not happen. So in fact, there is no way, impossible even, that everybody was Kung Fu Fighting.
What happened to this ad? :(
More Ben Shapiro Copypastas
Ben Shapiro asks his mom for Robux
Now, letโs say ๐ฃ hypothetically, you ๐, my mother ๐ช. Were to give ๐ me, your 
son ๐โโ๏ธ, your credit ๐ธ card ๐ณ information ๐๐ผ. So I ๐ฅ could make ๐ a purchase ๐ฒ of 500 ๐ฏ robux ๐ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐ฑโโ๏ธ will have you ๐ believe ๐
๐ป, I ๐ฅ have done โ
a very โผ good ๐ job ๐โโ๏ธ๐คต of doing my chores ๐งผ, including ๐ฒ, but ๐ not limited ๐ to; The dishes ๐ณ๐ฝ๐๐ผ, the laundry and the taking ๐ out the trash โน๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ถ๐.
son ๐โโ๏ธ, your credit ๐ธ card ๐ณ information ๐๐ผ. So I ๐ฅ could make ๐ a purchase ๐ฒ of 500 ๐ฏ robux ๐ on the Roblox.com/store. Contrary to what my sister ๐ฑโโ๏ธ will have you ๐ believe ๐
๐ป, I ๐ฅ have done โ
a very โผ good ๐ job ๐โโ๏ธ๐คต of doing my chores ๐งผ, including ๐ฒ, but ๐ not limited ๐ to; The dishes ๐ณ๐ฝ๐๐ผ, the laundry and the taking ๐ out the trash โน๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ถ๐.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro's naughty girl
Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl.
Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro ordering pizza
Hello, is this Pizza Hut?
Excellent. My name is Ben Shapiro. Conservative thought leader. Prominent white YouTuber. The Muggsy Bogues of the intellectual dark Web. Andโlook, itโs just a factโI would like to order some pizza pie. If you are triggered by that request, I do not care. I truly do not.
Now letโs discuss conditions. First, thank you for agreeing to debate me. Typically, in fora such as this, I am met with ad-hominem mudslinging, anything from โYou racist creepโ or โIs that your real voice?โ to raucous schoolyard laughter and threats of the dreaded โtoilet swirly.โ However, your willingness to engage with me over the phone on the subject of pizza shows an intellectual fortitude and openness to dangerous ideas which reflects highly on your character. Huzzah, good sir. Huzzah.
Second, any pizza I order will be male. None of this โOur pizza identifies as trans-fluid-pan-polyโโno. Pizza is a boy. With a penis. Itโs that simple. Itโs been true for all of human history, from Plato to Socrates to Mr. Mistoffelees, and any attempt to rewrite the pillars of Western thought will be met with a hearty โFuh!โ by yours truly. And, trust me, that is not a fate you wish to meet.
Now. With regard to my topping preference. I have eaten from your pizzeria in times past, and it must be said: your pepperoni is embarrassingly spicy. Frankly, it boggles the mind. I mean, what kind of drugs are you inhaling over there? Pot?! One bite of that stuff and I had to take a shower. So tread lightly when it comes to spice, my good man. You do not want to see me at my most epic. Like the great white hero of Zack Snyderโs classic film โ300,โ I will kick you.
Onions, peppersโno, thank you. If I wanted veggies, Iโd go to a salad bar. Iโm not some sort of vegan, Cory Booker weirdo. And your efforts to Michelle Obama-ize the great American pizza pie are, frankly, hilarious. Though not as funny as the impressively named PโZoneโwhen I finally figured out that genuinely creative pun, I laughed until I cried and peed. A true Spartan admits defeat, and I must admit that, in this instance, your Hut humor slayed me, Dennis Miller style.
And, with that, you have earned my order. Congratulations. Ahem. Without further ado, I would like your smallest child pizza, no sauce, extra cheese. Hello? Aha. A hang-up. Another triggered lib, bested by logic. Damn it. Iโm fucking starving.
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro asks his mom to buy him the Lego Death Star
Alright mom, you think that the Lego Death Star is too expensive of a set for my birthday which hypothetically- hypothetically lets take a look at the facts (which don't care about your feelings) in a situation where, hypothetically, you get it for my birthday. So, we take a look at the numbers it's $499.99 but it has 4,016 pieces, and that means it comes down to a price point of about 12.4 cents per piece and that's a fact, that's a fact (that doesn't care about your feelings). And even though that might be seemingly pricey in comparison to other lego sets, lets take a look at the minifigures. We have Han Solo in a Stormtrooper outfit, we have Luke Skywalker also in a Stormtrooper outfit, these are exclusives for the set since 2001. And it's a fact that you can recreate epic scenes- hypothetically, hypothetically, from A New Hope and Return of The Jedi if I had this set and I think the facts add up, that you should buy me this set (regardless of your feelings)
Ben Shapiro
Ben Shapiro counts to one million
So today, for the first time, my little toddler finally counted to ten. Everyone was celebrating, saying how proud they are in my kid, and then Ben Shapiro kicks open the door. "Oh you think it's impressive that they can count to ten? I can count to one million." and then proceeded, in my living room for the next two weeks, to count to one million. He then said "yep, another libtard destroyed" and then curbstomped my kid.