[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
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More Copypastas

The Tuck Frump movement started in 1944

twitchquotes: The Tuck Frump movement started in 1944 as a splinter group of the French Resistance. Though initially suppressed by the Nazi superweapon "U-Boat mode", the movement gained strength as the war went on. Today we honor the brave veterans that stood against facism with their rallying cry, Tuck Frump.
twitch chat
January 2015
Trump

A severe lack of cute emotes in chat

twitchquotes: Konichiwa Kripp-kun AYAYA . This is your kawaii kouhai Aya-chan, calling in from Nihon. I have noticed a severe lack of cute emotes in chat tonight, and instead all I see are baka dansgame and baka nammers. This is not very sugoi, and I would appreciate it if your chat showed more respect for Japanese culture by typing kawaii emotes like AYAYA and AstolfoSmile . Arigato gozaimasu <3
twitch chat
February 2019
Kripp

Weebs

Classic

Hypnosis Spiral AlienPls

⣾⡟⠀⢰⡿⠁⢠⣿⡏⠁⣰⣾⠟⠉⠉⠉⠛⣿⣶⠈⢻⣷⡀⠈⣿⣧⠈⣿⣧⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⢰⣿ AlienPls ⢸⣿⠀⢸⣿⡇⠀⣿⣿⠀⣿⣿⠀ ⣿⡇⠀⢿⡇⠀⢻⣿⡀⠘⣿⣇⠘⠻⢷⣶⣶⠿⠛⣠⣾⡟⠀⣠⣿⡏⢠⣿⡏
July 2022

Kripp, eat chicken

twitchquotes: Kripp this is Dr. Zeus Stromboloupolous. We need you to immediately star drinking MILK and EAT chicken at least once every week. Otherwise RIP is veganiro pepperoni
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Learn the ways of the Russians

twitchquotes: Learn the ways of the Russians, speak their language for a while, they might think you are one of them. Then maybe join their team, success might come and fighting for last drink of vodka will be your next objective. Do not give up, you have Dota tournament ahead of you. Then win TI1, but don't stop now, you have to go deeper. Spend 3 more years trying to solve the puzzle of russki power of motherland and then leave the team with full knowledge of understanding of strenght of ROSSIA and PROMISE URSELF THET YU WILL NEVER LOS TO RUS AND KNOW OF COLLAPSING STRONG EMPIRE OF RUSKILAND.
twitch chat
November 2014
Forsen
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