[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
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Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming

twitchquotes: Where were you when TL beat Invictus fucking Gaming, the reigning World Champions, 3-1? This series is going down in history. No one will ever dare to call NA a wildcard region again. It's not just C9 anymore, the gap is closed. 8 years of being memed as a 4fun region, 8 years of people laughing at Doublelift being an international choker, enough is enough. We poked this monster too much, it finally got pissed, woke up, and it's fucking hungry.
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

Tricky the Clown (Madness)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠟⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⡁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⡤⠤⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠲⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠻⢟⣿⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠙⠳⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⢯⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠒⠤⡀⠀⢀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠃⠀⠀⠙⠓⠤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣺⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢀⡶⠴⠞⠳⠋⢉⠽⢷⡒⢲⠇⠀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣿⠁⣄⣠⣀⣄⢀⠀⠀⠈⢰⢎⣀⣀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣄⠀⢀⣀⣀⡴⢣⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢂⡖⠤⣈⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢹⠉⠀⢧⠀⡞⢉⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡋⠸⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠏⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⢸⡄⠀⠈⠻⢻⠈⠀⠈⡙⠻⠛⠻⠛⠀⠉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⡰⡿⠁⡤⢎⢫⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⡿⡁⠀⡐⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡿⠀⠀⠀⠘⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠶⠴⠦⢤⣠⠀⠀⢤⣰⠧⢾⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⢸⣣⡗⠲⡋⣋⠹⢾⢙⣿ ⣿⢿⠁⠀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠈⠑⣆⢰⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⠁⠀⡄⠀⢸⡀⢳⡠⠻⢄⣉⣱⠝⣿ ⡏⠈⠁⠀⠀⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠙⡆⠀⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣼⣿⣿⡇⠀⢸⣡⠀⠀⢳⣞⠛⢦⣤⣧⣼⣾⣿ ⣧⠀⢰⡇⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠁⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠄⣀⠀⠉⠀⠀⠀⣀⠔⢹⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣬⣿⠀⠀⠀⢩⡿⠾⠷⠛⠉⠈⣿ ⣿⠀⢸⣇⠀⠘⠓⠲⢶⣄⡴⠃⣠⠞⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠉⢩⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⢻⡄⠀⠀⠘⡇⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿ ⣿⣿⣦⣭⣭⣿⠲⠞⠋⠀⢀⡜⠉⠁⠀⠀⠉⠐⠠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡈⠽⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⡘⢷⡿⢦⣤⣼⣣⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣴⣾⠿⠒⠛⠛⠒⠲⠤⣀⠀⠈⠢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢀⣠⠤⠤⠤⢤⣀⡙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣄⠀⠀⣠⣾⣻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣾⣶⣾⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
June 2021

Think of the saltwater fish

twitchquotes: ( ° ͜ʖ͡°) Hey Kripp, Marine Biologist Gilbin Pastarino here. I come to you on behald of all the salt water creatures of the world as your body seems to have absorbed 99% of the oceans salt. Please thinkerino of the poor fisheroni. Thanks
twitch chat
December 2014
Reynad

Welcome to the $5 strip club

twitchquotes: So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what .happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp
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