It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
For people that use "XD"
twitchquotes:
But the real question is, when this musing entered your mind, did you really make such a face? Was it so funny that your face contorted into a gaping wide-mouthed smile as your eyes aggressively squinted shut? Did you truly "ex dee"? Were you able to see your screen as you typed with your eyes held steadfast as though they were steel vice grips clamping with hundreds of pounds of force?
twitch chat
Giving due respect to the chat moderators
twitchquotes:
Hey mods I just wanted to congratulate you all and give proper respect for keeping our chats safe from the evils of Twitch, the spammers, and sexual predators. Without you and your methods, which have no affiliation to the leading German political party within the time frame of World War 2, we would not be able to enjoy a fun, clean environment in which we can enrich ourselves with game knowledge and truly become one as a great family for the greater good of internet chatrooms. Again, I would like to say you have done a wonderful job and hope to see you all keep up the great work.
twitch chat
MODS
Classic
A cat's eye view is the best advantage
Reynad Rick Harrison
twitchquotes:
I'm Reynad and this is my stream. I work here with my nazi mods and my boyfriend, Jeff. Every game on this stream is bullshit RNG and pure salt. One thing I've learned after 4 years - you never know WHAT will trigger me next. 
twitch chat
Reynad
Rick Harrison
Response to somebody correcting a grammar mistake
Give it up folks, einstein over here has something to say. What's that buddy? Wha- A grammatical error?!? WHAT?!? B... Bu... That can't be possible! Surely not! A GRAMMAR MISTAKE? IN MY SIGHT?!? What a great, absolute miracle that you and your 257 IQ Brain was here to correct it! Thank you! Have my grattitude, Actually, What's your cashapp? I'd like to give you 20$... Know what? While we're at it have the keys to my car. Actually, no, scratch that. Have the keys to my house, go watch my kids grow up and fuck my wife. Also, my Paypal username and password is: Ilikesmartazzes4 and 968386329. Go have fun. Thank you for your work.