[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Welcome to the $5 strip club

twitchquotes: So I went to a Strip Club in Greece the other night and guess who i saw there. It was the Kripp with hundreds of 5 dollar bills. So the Stripper goes in a hot pose, Kripp smiles and pours himself a glass of OJ. Kripp said "Welcome to the 5 Dollar Club" and they went into a private room. Not sure what .happened then but i guess he gave her a brofist.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Shots 1-5 clearly missed

Summary: Shots 1-5: Clearly missed. Shots 6-9: Missed due to recoil (bad spray control). Shots 10-11: Very close, but recoil and inaccuracy make these reasonable misses. Shot 12: Likely didn't actually fire because Hiko was already dead.
March 2021

CSGO

Anime girl 2

░░░████▌█████▌█░████████▐▀██▀ ░▄█████░█████▌░█░▀██████▌█▄▄▀▄ ░▌███▌█░▐███▌▌░░▄▄░▌█▌███▐███░▀ ▐░▐██░░▄▄▐▀█░░░▐▄█▀▌█▐███▐█ ░░███░▌▄█▌░░▀░░▀██░░▀██████▌ ░░░▀█▌▀██▀░▄░░░░░░░░░███▐███ ░░░░██▌░░░░░░░░░░░░░▐███████▌ ░░░░███░░░░░▀█▀░░░░░▐██▐███▀▌ ░░░░▌█▌█▄░░░░░░░░░▄▄████▀░▀ ░░░░░░█▀██▄▄▄░▄▄▀▀▒█▀█░
October 2016

Weebs

Ban one bee, get the swarm

twitchquotes: bUrself ban bUrself one bUrself bee bUrself and bUrself you'll bUrself get bUrself the bUrself swarm bUrself
twitch chat
September 2016

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

Dear people who comment on porn

Dear people who comment on porn, why? Do you really think whoever the fuck you’re masturbating to will see “you are gorgeous I would love to tittyfuck you, it would be my pleasure😍😍😍” will fly over to your house have sex with your fatass and then fly back? No. If it ever actually does happen, I’d bet that pornstar does it a lot. Which means constant flying. Porn commenters are causing global warming.
September 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing