It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face
twitchquotes:
I want Zarya's giant feet to squash my face and suffocate me and gives me no mercy, I want her to squash my head with her gigantic thighs like a hand squashes a tomato. Just knowing that she is able to do that brings me to the brink of orgasmic relief, but I know she won't smash my body with her arms hugging me like the bear emote. Fuck, why does she have to be a video game character, I want Blizzard to make sex dolls, I would buy out all the Zarya models and keep them for myself
twitch chat
Overwatch
WHEN DOES NA PLAY?
twitchquotes:
WHEN DOES NA PLAY 
OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO
OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO WHEN DOES NA PLAY OH NO NO NO
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
G2, aka “Gold 2”
twitchquotes:
G2, aka “Gold 2”, named after their players average skill level. They are currently the best team in EU and are best known for their inting midlaner, CRAPS, and their inability to defeat PVB, Vietnam’s worst team.
twitch chat
Riot Games
League of Legends
This ELO IS UNFAIR
twitchquotes:
THIS ELO IS UNFAIR! TIMTHEFATMAN IS IN THERE! LOSING EVERY GAME SESSION! GIVING HIS TEAM DEPRESSION!
THIS ELO IS UNFAIR! TIMTHEFATMAN IS IN THERE! LOSING EVERY GAME SESSION! GIVING HIS TEAM DEPRESSION!
twitch chat
TimTheTatman
Overwatch
Stream snipers
twitchquotes:
One day, the Papa asks Kripp to go fishing, Kripp shrugs, “Alright, but catch and release only – I’m vegan.” They arrive at the local pristine clear waters of an Ontario stream brimming with wild trout and prepare to fish. Suddenly Kripp shouts, “Get down!”. A crack sounds through the air, and the Papa sees Kripp on the ground bleeding. His final words are, “Fucking stream snipers.”
twitch chat
Kripp