[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
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I'm not gay but I want to live with Kanye West

I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Kanye. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him tighten his ass as he chops wood, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Kanye. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then they'll go inside, pen a brief missive to their departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without their one true platonic love.
August 2021

Kanye West

forsenLUL

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣿⣿⠿⠋⠄⢴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⣠⣶⣿⠟⠁⣠⣶⣶⣤⣄⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣴⡿⠛⠁⢠⣾⣯⣉⡉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣍⡉⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇ ⣿⡟⠁⠄⣾⠋⠄⠄⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠿⣷⣤⣽⣿⣿⣿⠄ ⠟⠄⠄⣠⣴⠋⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣹⣟⡉⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀ ⠄⠄⣴⡟⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣌⡙⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⢰⣿⠁⣰⣿⣿⣿⡟⢁⣤⣤⣭⡙⠳⢦⣄⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟ ⠄⣾⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢻⡏⠉⠻⠿⣷⣆⠹⡆⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠁⠄⠄ ⠄⡿⠄⣡⣬⠉⣻⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠈⠛⠂⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⢠⣾ ⠄⣡⣾⡿⢇⣼⣿⠿⠿⠟⢉⣉⣠⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⣴⣿⠏ ⣾⣿⣟⣁⣈⣩⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠋⠡⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠄⢀⣾⡟⠁⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠛⣛⣉⣁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⠘⠻⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⣾⠟⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢸⡿⠄⠄⣼⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣁⣤⣤⣴⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣌⣙⠛⢀⣈⠃⠄⠰⣿⠁⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠟⠛⣋⣉⣩⣭⠉⢋⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣤⣴⣿
November 2021
Forsen

Emote

is that… a GIRL?!!!?

is that… a GIRL?!!!? Uhhhhhhhhhhhh girls? uhhhhhhhhhhhhh like, here? *starts sweating* uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *starts drooling* uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh *wide eyed* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts farting* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts shitting with bloodshot eyes* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *poopie leaking out of my shorts* UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *starts convulsing which makes the shit run down my shaved legs even faster* UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-UUU-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH-HHH *gets a boner* UUUHHH-UHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUHHHH-UHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHH-UUUUHHHHHHHHH-UHHHHH-UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH *passes out*
May 2022

You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is

twitchquotes: You have just become intrigued as to what this spam is, you go to the chat and scroll to hold it on the screen and indulge in its delights, as you continue to read you realize it does not contain anything funny or worth reading, and yet you highlight, copy it, paste it and send it.
twitch chat
November 2015

So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2

twitchquotes: So my boyfriend loves to play dota 2 and is very immersed in twitch culture and this has extended to his everyday conversation. It seems like he can't go one sentence without using one such twitch "meme", like "pogchamp", "omegalul", "monka s", "bible thump", or "monka giga". I am fine with him watching twitch and enjoying his video games but honestly it's quite embarassing when we are talking to someone in public and he just randomly busts out a twitch "meme". It's so cringey and all my friends think he's weird. And don't even get me started on the random japanese phrases (he's white...) I swear this sounds like a meme post but i promise this is my real life ;___;
twitch chat
November 2018
Text-to-Speech Playing