[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Unidan "jackdaw is a crow"

Here's the thing. You said a "jackdaw is a crow." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a scientist who studies crows, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls jackdaws crows. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "crow family" you're referring to the taxonomic grouping of Corvidae, which includes things from nutcrackers to blue jays to ravens. So your reasoning for calling a jackdaw a crow is because random people "call the black ones crows?" Let's get grackles and blackbirds in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a human or an ape? It's not one or the other, that's not how taxonomy works. They're both. A jackdaw is a jackdaw and a member of the crow family. But that's not what you said. You said a jackdaw is a crow, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the crow family crows, which means you'd call blue jays, ravens, and other birds crows, too. Which you said you don't. It's okay to just admit you're wrong, you know?
October 2021

Classic

I think about Kripp when I touch my wiener

twitchquotes: ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ Roses are red, Weed is greener, I think about Kripp, when I touch my wiener. ヽ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ノ
twitch chat
April 2014
Kripp

When Kripp plays Reno warrior...

twitchquotes: Captain's log, entry 69, stardate 420. It has been 9001 days since the SS Kripp first entered into this game of hearthstone, and still there appears to be no signs of release, no way out. I fear for the lives of myself and my crew, we may all pass of old age before we are freed from this particular game.
twitch chat
November 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

Is Reynad a girly man? Is he Edward from Twilight?

twitchquotes: This guy drinks cider and claims to get drunk off them? Is he a girly man? Is he a gay man? Is he edward from twilight?
twitch chat
April 2014
Reynad

Can someone explain xQc to me?

Can someone explain xQc to me? I watched his stream for the first time yesterday (always just seen him in clips) and he spent roughly 80-90% of the stream slamming his desk after he farts. Is that what all his streams are? Does he not do anything else but fart and slam all day?
June 2021
xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing