[Copypasta] It's 2036

It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
October 2020
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

FeelsAYAYAMan

⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⢣⣿⣿⡿⣫⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄ ⣾⣿⡿⣱⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢋⢿⣏⡻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄ ⣿⡿⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣌⠛⢱⣿⣿⣿⡟⡫⠾⢸⣧⠹⠊⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⣿⣿⡝⣦ ⣿⢳⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⢕⣛⠇⣦⣍⠻⠫⠼⠓⣘⢸⡟⠸⣛⣓⡛⢿⣿⡇⣝⢿⣷⡈ ⠃⣿⣿⢟⣫⣶⣾⣿⣿⠘⠋⣡⢨⠉⠩⣭⣔⠘⠡⠝⢒⢠⠄⠘⡟⣷⢿⣯⢻⡇ ⡟⠟⡕⣛⣿⣭⣽⣶⣶⡑⢿⡇⠐⠈⠄⣸⠿⠾⠰⠿⣇⠄⠄⠁⢀⣿⠘⢻⠸⡇ ⢱⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡳⠶⠶⠶⢖⣒⣚⣩⣾⣷⣶⣶⣶⣿⡟⠋⠄⠸⠁⠁ ⡸⣿⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣛⣭⣾⣿⣿⣷⣮⣭⣭⣭⣭⡅⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣷⢹⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣿⡿⣩⣶⡶⢶⣶⣮⣭⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣛⣣⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⢸⡇⣿⣿⣏⢧⡛⠿⠿⠷⠶⢶⣤⣭⣛⣛⠿⠿⠿⢟⣛⣛⣛⣛⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣙⢸⢃⣿⣿⣿⣦⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⡭⠉⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣨⣒⠤⢬⣭⣝⣛⡻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⣶⣦⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Weebs

Pepe

I sexually identify as Microsoft Windows 10

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as Microsoft Windows 10. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over PCs dropping hotfixes on braindead users. People say to me that a person being Windows 10 is Impossible and I’m fucking retarded but I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon install Cortana, Windows App Store and a keylogger on my system. From now on I want you guys to call me “Windows Update 10.0.10586” and respect my right to update from above and update needlessly. If you can’t accept me you’re a windowphobe and need to check your OS privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2016

I sexually Identify as

Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp, This is Vegetron Ruler and Protector of all plant matter in the galaxy. I command you to stop being a p*ssy and eat meat, instead of eating all of my relatives. If you don't, I will be super angry at you. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

GME bank consultation

Short story-time for amusement reasons only: some days ago, I went to my bank (Austria). I am the owner of quite a number of GME shares and my broker app is actually just the bank-intern bond trading app, where I need to pay transactional feed everytime I buy (what is sell?) GME shares. I informed myself about the reasoning of those transactional fees beforehand and found out that by paying them, I have the right of consultation by my bank about the shares they‘re trading/I‘m buying. So, I went to the main national building of my bank, they were really friendly at the beginning, enthustiatically, I mentioned GME to them and that I wish for professional consultation about the financial details involved with that stock (I am not a financial guy, actually, I don‘t exactly know what‘s going on, it‘s all pretty crazy to me). Suddenly, their posture and mimick changed pretty suddenly. I was told, they are not allowed to consult about GME. To my question, why this was the case, they told me, because GME is „too irrelevant for the big stock market“. They are „aware of the past short squeeze, but one should no longer focus on GME“. They acted as if GME was some „childish financial playground“ that should be forgotten about. When I confronted them with the huge recent naked short attacks and if they could explain to me possible effects of them if they were not covered, they just repeated themselves how „GME is not relevant, please focus on stocks like Apple or Amazon to be safe“. I left the bank, buying more GME shares.
April 2021

WallStreetBets

Switch Hanzo's stormbow to scatter

twitchquotes: I'm new to Overwatch so sorry if I sound like a noob but... does anyone know how to switch Hanzo's stormbow to scatter? I want to use what the pros use. Thanks!
twitch chat
May 2018
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Text-to-Speech Playing