It’s 2036. Your mom was an e girl with an onlyfans and your dad is a sadboi guitarist. 98% of the Caucasian male students in school are named Aiden. Every afternoon you come home to check on Mom because she still thinks posting memes about wanting to die are in. She sees you pull out your homework and you sigh. “No, mom. I don’t want to listen to Lo-Fi beats to study and relax to.” She looks mildly disappointed but perks up again. “No horror trap/witch house either,” you interrupt. SadDad walks in and pats you on the back, but not before saying “Aye, fam. You look a little upset, u wanna go get a face tat?”
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
I want to date Pokimane so bad
twitchquotes:
I want to date Pokimane so bad. She is so cute and I love her so much. She has a cute smile and a cute face. She’s a gamer like me and has a amazing personality. I would love to tell her every night “I love you” and rub her feet while she is streaming. We would go out when she isn’t doing gamer stuff and have fun together. She is also really good at gaming so I would be able to get carried by my very own GF. I love girls who are better at things than me so I can learn from them. God I want to date Pokimane
twitch chat
Pokimane
Stroll in my local GameStop
stroll into my local GameStop
looking to pick up a copy of Binding of Isaac
grab the game and take it to the charming maiden at the register
"Pardon me, milady...but could you ring me up? A shame I don't have your number or I'd ring you up instead..."
she giggles and takes the game, blushing as her fingers brush mine due to my fingerless gloves
her eyes widen as she reads the game's title
"Wow, I've never seen anyone buy this before! You must have special taste!"
I smile and ready a witty response when suddenly a voice rings out from behind
"Hahaha look at what this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ is buying! That's not Call of Duty Advanced Memefare! What a piece of ♥♥♥♥!"
I quickly turn around, my cloak billowing behind me, to discern the source of the rude outburst
generic dudebro caricature with a sports team cap and "the guy that beat you up that one time behind the school in early October" shirt is standing there guffawing
"Excuse me sir...you may disparage my person if you wish, but it is untoward to swear in front of a lady."
"♥♥♥♥ you ♥♥♥♥♥♥!"
I smile quietly and tip my fedora low across my eyes, concealing them
"As you wish..."
I quickly swing my cane into his kneecap before he can react
he bellows and charges forward
I expertly sidestep him and the cashier screams as he crashes into the counter
I draw my sword-cane and mutter a quiet oath as I drive it deep into his back
"...requiescat in pace..."
As I clean my blade the girl walks out from behind the counter, twirling her hair with her fingers
"So...maybe you'd like to come over to my place to play that game sometime...?
"No thanks, milady, it's only single player. Besides..."
I sheath my sword
"You're not my type."
skate away on my Heelys
Classic
Troll Face 2
░░░░▄▄▄▄▄▓▓▓▄▄▄░░░░░
░░░░▄▄▓▀▀▀▀▀▀▓▓▓▓▓▓▄░░░
░░▄▄▓▀▀░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▀▓▄░
░▐▓▓▌░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▓▌
░▐▓▒░░▄▒▒▓▄▄▒▒▒░▒▄▄▄▒▒▓
░▓▓▌░░░░░▒▒▒▒▀▒▒▓▓▓▓▓▓▓
░▐▓░░░░▒▒▓(◐)▓░░░▒▓▓(◐)▒▓
█░▀▄░█▄█▀▄▄░▀░▀▄▄▀░░█░█
░█░░░▀▄█▄█░█▀▄▄▄▄▄▀██░█
░░█░░░░█░███▄█▄█▄███░░█
░░░█░░░▀▀█░█▀█▀█▀███░█
░░░░▀▄░░░░▀▀▄█▄█▄█▄▀░█
░░░░░░▀▄▄░▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░█
░░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▀
Maya's mod responds to Miz and Maya break up
I wish I could say I didn't see this coming but...sigh..I definitely did. To many people not in the loop it may have come as a shock. They certainly LOOKED like a happy couple, but when you've been a twitch mod for as long as I have...you notice certain things. As Maya's head mod and commandant in charge of holding off weirdos I could tell very clearly that something was up.
The way she acted on stream, her general atmosphere, twas as if a beautiful chrysanthemum was being oppressed by a violent and balding Gardner. Someone who had not the faintest idea how to look after beautiful flowers.
But the time has come, the thorns and nature hath come to wreak havok. At the moment a plan is being drafted by me and the sub mods to find her a new boyfriend who is fit to properly look after her. Naturally I will be taking the temporary (and maybe permanent if all goes to plan 😉) role of boyfriend/guardian.
But while I reveal my plans and provide you all a mere glimpse at the machinations set in motion by this breakup I must warn you...
BACK OFF...
This is not your fight, you have no idea who you are dealing with. If you come after her now without going through the necessary protocols then I won't be able to control myself. There is a reason I would never show myself on stream or play among us. There is a side to the top twitch dog that you don't wanna know about. These fangs are here for a reason, don't. Make me. Use them.
Maya
Simps
What is inside that taco? Oh no it's KRIPP
twitchquotes:
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO 
OH NO IT'S KRIPP
WHAT IS INSIDE THAT TACO OH NO IT'S KRIPP
twitch chat
Kripp