[Copypasta] You do not deserve to have Raymond

twitchquotes: Hello! I have been following your tweets for the past two days, and have come to the conclusion you do not deserve to have Raymond on your island. He is my comfort character and seeing him in an environment not meant for him brings me anxiety, so I will be expecting a reply to this DM when you have him in boxes and ready to relinquish him to someone who will treasure him like he deserves.
twitch chat
June 2020
https://imgur.com/a/R3dSIpm
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Am I the asshole for dropping my 6 year old son at an orphanage for his inability to trade options?

This started about 4 years ago when my son was 2 years old. I started to supplement his picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I feel like he has retained absolutely nothing even though I have spent every waking minute trying to make him understand. I have done almost everything that I have thought of including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while he is sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make him understand the market. I felt as though I got to a breaking point when he couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. I finally convinced my wife that we were doing the right thing when I said that he will soon be a Wendy's worker begging his wife's husband for a weekly allowance because he will never amount to be anything. I couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy check out Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska and maybe your luck will be better than mine with him.
September 2021

Am I The Asshole?

WallStreetBets

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”

I, an atheist, accidentally said “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science” You read the title, I just cannot believe I said the “g” word on accident. Am I even an atheist anymore? I don’t like religion or anything but like maybe it infiltrated me and is manipulating me to say “oh my g*d” instead of “oh my science”. Please guys it wasn’t me, I didn’t mean it. I’m very disappointed in myself, I think I need to go to science camp or go to therapy. What if I’m secretly religious? what should I do? Is my foreskin going to fall off?? Please can someone give me advice, any advice is appreciated. Best regards, -an atheist(?)
November 2020

Kripp saved my life; Rania saved my sanity

twitchquotes: I discovered Kripp after a terrible car accident. I was n a coma for weeks. One day, the nurse decided to play Twitch in the room, specifically to Kripp's channel. I immediately awoke. I went to mute the channel, but it was then that Rania brought Kripp his food, saving me the effort. Kripp saved my life. Rania saved my sanity.
twitch chat
April 2015
Kripp

When chugging RedBull™ I have more energy to stream

twitchquotes: When chugging RedBull™ I have more energy to stream. When my friend drank the competition's Monster energy drink he literally died. RedBull™ however keeps me full of energy and ready to stream. RedBull™ RedBull™ RedBull™
twitch chat
May 2015
Reynad

sellout

Art of Conquest Developer visits Kripp's stream

twitchquotes: 🔧(Art of Conquest™ Developer): Hey Kripp! Just popping on to make sure you started streaming our game on time. Remember to read the script we sent at the appropriate times, as stated. We have arranged for your requested reward of various veggies and rainbowed colored 10-inch cucumbers to arrive within a week at your house. We will send you some thick broccoli if you include "not sponsored" in your stream title. We hope you will enjoy your rewards and wish you and your vegan family a good day.
twitch chat
January 2018
Kripp

sellout

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