[Copypasta] My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp
I used to be a real ad
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Tired of getting Sniped?

twitchquotes: Tired of getting Sniped? No problem! Here at Sniper Deflectorsβ„’ we can shield your Arena Queue from incoming Snipers with our new patent-pending SniperShieldβ„’ Technology! Our shield will bounce incoming sniper shots right back to the sniper-guild recruiter (definitely not DRIVEZY), causing them to effectively Snipe themselves! Buy 24/7 protection now for only $24.99/month!
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Not enough brofisting

twitchquotes: Dear Mister-I'm-Too-Good-To-Bro-Fist-All-My-Subs, this'll be the last pasta I ever send your ***. It's been six months and still no word - I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two pastas; I wrote the Kappas on 'em perfect. I'm in the chat right now, spamming penises in r9k. Hey Kripp, I drank a fifth of OJ, you dare me to riot?
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Hello Kripp, proud brony here

twitchquotes: 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎 Hello Kripp, proud brony here. I was just wondering if you could played the "dreadsteed" deck as it reminds me of my waifu Twilight Sparkle. Thanks, it would mean soooo much to me (βœΏβ˜―β€Ώβ˜―βœΏ) 🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎🐎
twitch chat
September 2015
Kripp

Hearthstone

I like turtles

twitchquotes: I like turtles because they’re so chill. They don’t hurt anyone. They’re just like, β€œHey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I’m gonna take my time getting there, I’m not in a rush. Because I’m a turtle.”
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground

twitchquotes: Hey, Mr. Morosan, this is Mike from Video Playground, the adult marketplace. You've been ignoring my calls about your outstanding debt of $12.99 for Big Vegan Balls IV. I'm not here to shame or embarrass you for your taste in husky, sweaty man love, but I've got a business to run, and I wouldn't be able to provide you with the entertainment you frequently enjoy if I didn't get paid. Please don't make me revoke your platinum membership.
twitch chat
June 2017
Kripp
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