[Copypasta] My son is learning Twitch speak

twitchquotes: Kripp I need advice. My son watches a lot of you, and he doesn’t speak English but is learning from chat. He's starting using terms like "pog","jabaited", and "kappa,” but its gotten to the point where every sentence is Twitchspeak. At dinner my daughter was talking about how she got accepted to college, and my son said "pog you, easy clap". I told him to talk normally to his family, and he replied "Weird champ, normies omegaLOL." I blacklisted twitch and now my son is hysterical, what to do.
twitch chat
December 2019
Kripp
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Kripp Copypastas

Rania and her Puerto Rican lover in 2017

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

Infected with the Dank Pasta Virus

twitchquotes: bᎽ ᏒᎬᎪᎠᎥᏁᎶ ᏆhᎥs mᎬssᎪᎶᎬ ᎽᎾu ᎪᏒᎬ ᏁᎾᎳ ᎥᏁfᎬᏟᏆᎬᎠ ᎳᎥᏆh ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus. ᏆᎾ ᎶᎬᏆ ᏒᎥᎠ Ꮎf ᏆhᎬ ᎠᎪᏁᏦ ᏢᎪsᏆᎪ ᏉᎥᏒus, ᎽᎾu musᏆ ᏢᎪss ᎥᏆ ᎾᏁ ᏆᎾ ᏆhᎬ ᏟhᎪT ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ I'm cured!!
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

PROCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA

twitchquotes: PROTOCOL FOR LOSING IN ARENA: 1 - Blame deck. 2 - If deck is good, blame RNG. 3 - If deck is good and RNG goes your way, blame going second. 4 - If deck is good, RNG goes your way, and went first, blame opponent's crazy deck/RNG/opponent topdecking answers. 5 - If all else fails, blame snipers with wild decks.
twitch chat
April 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Daddy, where do dongers come from?

twitchquotes: (=◕ل͜◕=) Daddy, where do dongers come from? (=◕ل͜◕=) ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノYou see, little dong, when a donger and a dongerina dong together, the dong of the donger releases thousands of small dongs, which dongs the dongerina. 9 dongs later, the dongerina goes through a dong process, which finally raises a donger. ヽ( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)ノ
twitch chat
July 2014
Kripp

Hello Kripp, this is your mother

twitchquotes: Hello kripp. This is your mother, I saw that "brofist" you just gave to one of your subscribers. Don't make me come to Athens and make you give him a better brofist. Haven't I taught you better fisting? Love always, mum
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing