[Copypasta] ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS

twitchquotes: ALO ALO 📞 ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS 📞 ZULUL NEED BACKUP 📞 ZULUL VI VON 📞 ZULUL
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July 2019
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More Copypastas

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

Ben Shapiro's naughty girl

Let's say you've been a bad girl. Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty girl even. Ok, and if you were a naughty girl, you would be my dirty little slut right? Then hypothetically speaking, you would be my little cumslut. Now, let's say you're also daddy's girl. Now that we have established that you are both a bad girl and daddy's girl, I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a spanking. Am I not correct? A bad girl deserves a spanking, and as I am daddy, you are my girl, so I am the one who must provide punishment.
December 2020

Ben Shapiro

WideHardo

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⣿⣿⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⣻⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣡⣤⣬⣿⣿⣛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠷⠂⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⣾⣿⣍⣴⡆⠄⢠⣍⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢡⡀⠄⠠⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿ ⣿⡿⠉⠐⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠓⠄⠠⣶⣶⣶⣿⠇⢸⣿ ⡿⠄⠠⣤⣽⣿⣿⣍⣠⣤⣤⣭⣬⣭⣿⣿⣯⣤⣄⡀⠄⣀⡀⣠⣭⡤⠄⣸⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⡜⢋⣼⣿⠟⠄⣰⣿⣿ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣿⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹
April 2021

The pandemic in 2028 is kinda sus

Year is 2028 The pandemic has gotten so bad we are all forced to wear colored isolation suits with their own oxygen tank and no hands for contact. Those infected are turned into sociopathic murders that try to secretly kill everyone, but still dress and act like the rest of us. I work as a spaceship engineer in the Skled along with 9 other people. We just got notified that one among us was infected, but we still have to keep maintaining the ship otherwise it will explode. We are trying to figure out who it is by voting. 2 of us are already dead and i saw red vent, but nobody believes me. I think the others want to vote me off. This might be the last thing i'll write. Goodbye. Tell me wife i love her.
January 2022

Among Us / Amogus

Coronavirus

COVID

Scream (Ghostface)

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⠉⠁⠄⠄⠈⠙⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⢿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿ ⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⢻⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⠄⠄⢀⠴⠛⠙⣿⣿⡿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⠃⠄⢠⡖⠉⠄⠄⠄⣠⣿⡏⠄⢹⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠ ⣿⠃⠄⠄⢸⣧⣤⣤⣤⢾⣿⣿⡇⠄⠈⢻⡆⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠛⢿⡟⠉⠉⣿⣷⣀⠄⠄⣿⡆⠄⠄⢠⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⡿⠿⢿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠃⠄⠄⣸⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⡞⠄⠄⠄⠈⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⡟⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠄⠄⠄⢀⡼⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄⠄HAPPY ⠙⢿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⠃⠄⢀⠎⠄⠄⠄HALLOWEEN ⠙
October 2021

Halloween

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