[Copypasta] ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS

twitchquotes: ALO ALO πŸ“ž ZULUL RUNNING LOW ON COMMANDOS πŸ“ž ZULUL NEED BACKUP πŸ“ž ZULUL VI VON πŸ“ž ZULUL
twitch chat
July 2019
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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GG

β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•β•β•β•β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–‘ β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•—β–ˆβ–ˆβ•‘β–‘β–‘β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•— β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β•β•šβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ–ˆβ•”β• β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–‘β–‘β•šβ•β•β•β•β•β•β–‘
January 2021

Why are we rioting?

twitchquotes: ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ WHY ARE WE RIOTING ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨
twitch chat
August 2015
Kripp

ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨ riot ΰ­§ΰΌΌΰ² η›Šΰ² ΰΌ½ΰ­¨

You will never be Japanese

You will never be Japanese. You have no ancestry, you have no citizenship, you have no skills that would make Japan ever want you. You are a shut-in self-hating white man twisted by delusions of mythical Japanese superiority and exposure to Japanese media into a disgusting mockery of nature’s perfection. All 'validation' you get from other people in this position couldn't be worse in making you believe that spending years of your life learning a globally useless language to a first-grader's level was a worthwhile use of your time, but one can't expect that an individual as pathetic as you will ever know the value of the youth you threw away in doing that. Actual Japanese are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of linguistic evolution have allowed natives to identify frauds from mannerisms and vocabulary alone. Even if your written text of self-hatred and attention begging akin to a stray dog's somehow passes as normal (it won't), any Japanese person will immediately cut all ties when they hear the voice and accent of someone who is not only a basic Japanese speaker at best, but worth no more than garbage in skills, accomplishments, and likeability. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile and laugh to yourself believing that watching a content creator that you understand 20% of at best is somehow superior than watching your own kind, as you project your disgusting traits onto your entire kind. However, deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight, and you know that. You know that all you do now is have an entirely new linguistic medium in which to be ignored, and not even the exotic trait of being foreign makes up for just how uninteresting of a person you are. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a Western man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably Caucasian. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back. Hate yourself and apologize for being white to some Japanese entity that exists only in your mind while actual Japanese people put in effort to learn English for the valid reason of it being the global language.
April 2021

Weebs

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times.

I have noticed that, although this planet has 3.8 billion women, I have not had sex 3.8 billion times. I'm not sure if this is being done intentionally or if these "friends" are forgetting to 'fuck' me. Either way, I've had enough. I have compiled a spreadsheet of individuals who have "forgotten" to 'fuck' me in my recent years. After 2 consecutive strikes, your name is automatically highlighted (shown in red) and I am immediately notified. 3 consecutive strikes and you can expect an in-person "consultation". Think about your actions.
August 2021

Toast stares at the screen

twitchquotes: Toast stares at the screen. His vision begins to fade. "My jaws that bite, my claws that catch". This message burns into his brain. As the armor count slowly rises, Toast's sanity begins to fade. "Just another 1000 armor, then I can quit" he tells himself. His viewers are begging him to stop, it's been weeks and weeks at this point, As he finally begins to succumb to his fatigue and eye strain, he realizes this is the end. He utters one final word, as falls face down onto his desk. "...PogChamp.
twitch chat
December 2018
DisguisedToast

Hearthstone

Text-to-Speech Playing