[Copypasta] 🇺🇸ATTENTION🇺🇸PLEASE🇺🇸

twitchquotes: 🇺🇸guys🇺🇸if🇺🇸you🇺🇸receive🇺🇸an🇺🇸email🇺🇸saying🇺🇸"naked🇺🇸pictures🇺🇸of🇺🇸Donald🇺🇸Trump"🇺🇸don't🇺🇸open🇺🇸it🇺🇸it🇺🇸is🇺🇸a🇺🇸virus🇺🇸that🇺🇸puts🇺🇸USA🇺🇸flags🇺🇸between🇺🇸everything🇺🇸you🇺🇸type🇺🇸
twitch chat
May 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hope Zoe wins but in Spanish

twitchquotes: Espero que gane Zoe xD. Soy main de Zoe y es tan tan divertida!! Me encanta trolear con su burbuja, y sus diálogos son tan monos como cuando canta sobre tarta de chocolate LOL! Es super random pero también mas lista de lo que parece, justo como yo xD
twitch chat
October 2020

League of Legends

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked...

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out
March 2017

Classic

Am I The Asshole for not being able to trade options for my dad? I’m 6.

This started about 4 years ago when I was 2 years old. My dad started to supplement me picture books and cartoons with beginner options books and Martin Shkerli's live videos on how to pick pharmaceutical stocks. Over the course of these years I have retained absolutely nothing even though my dad has spent every waking minute trying to make me understand. He has done almost everything including having Jerome Powell's speeches play while I am sleeping and only having Warren Buffet on the TV to try and make me understand the market. Yesterday, he got to a breaking point when I couldn't differentiate between a straddle and a strangle even though we went through different strategies for almost a month straight. My dad finally convinced my mom that they were doing the right thing when he said that I will soon be a Wendy's worker begging my wife's husband for a weekly allowance because I will never amount to be anything. He couldn't fathom raising a kid who was not able to able to make a profit from trading options by the time he was 10. With all that said, if anyone wants a 6 year old child who is shitty at market strategy, plz adopt me from Eternal Sunny Orphanage in Omaha, Nebraska.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Am I The Asshole?

As a teemo main at a respectably high elo

twitchquotes: As a teemo main at a respectably high elo, this game is hard to watch. Literally cringing at some of these mistakes. If you actually want to learn teemo PM me (im gold 3 24lp) I also do coaching
twitch chat
April 2018

Classic

League of Legends

Is this chat filled with parrots?

twitchquotes: Is this chat filled with parrots? All you guys do is copy what the person above you wrote. Please have some originality and contribute to a smarter chat.
twitch chat
August 2014

I hate Twitch Chat

Text-to-Speech Playing