[Copypasta] Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again

twitchquotes: Noobmaster, hey it’s Thor again. You know, the god of thunder? Listen buddy, if you don’t log off this game immediately I will fly over to your house, and come down to that basement you’re hiding in and rip off your arms and shove them up your butt! Oh, that’s right, yea just go cry to your father you little weasel.
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom

My parents used to watch cockfighting in the bedroom when they thought we were asleep. I'd hear my mother excitedly talking about how much she enjoyed cocks as they jumped around on the bed. What surprised me though was, when we went to Spain she mentioned how cruel she thought bullfighting was. I never confronted her about the hypocrisy though.
October 2021

FitnessGram Pacer Test

The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start.
September 2016

Classic

Terminating your casual account

twitchquotes: Hello Kripp this is BLIZZARD, remember how we gave you every card...golden! Just to get you to legend. And you're stuck at 9? Its the end of the season Kripp... were gonna have to terminate your casual account.
twitch chat
December 2014
Kripp

I love your stream. Just kidding

twitchquotes: I love your stream. Your energy and optimism is inspiring and you just make my day so much brighter. Just kidding lol. It's tanner. I see you're still playing this children's card game despite me stealing and selling your account back in the day. Anyways, good talk. See you at the gym ... not.
twitch chat
June 2019

Hearthstone

Tanner from High School

Half Life 3

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣤⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠋⠹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠈ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⢼⡃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⢠⣶⣿⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⣷⠀⠀⠀⢀ ⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠙⠓⠚⠁⠀⠀⠀⣾ ⡏⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⣰⡆⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣇⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠻⣿⣏⣀⣀⣀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠈⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣠⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
May 2021
Text-to-Speech Playing