[Copypasta] Mesmerized

twitchquotes: ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⢉⣠⣴⣴⣦⣦⣄⡉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⠐⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⡟⣽⠂⠈⠉⢢⡻⣿⣿⣿⠟⣩⡖⠉⠄⠉⢷⣽⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢸⣇⠻⠄⠄⠄⠸⠛⣹⣿⣧⡈⠻⠧⠄⠄⢀⠞⢹⡇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣿⣷⣴⣤⣴⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣤⣶⣾⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⡅⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣙⡛⢛⣋⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢨⣼⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠉⠉⠩⠍⠉⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣯⠄⠄⠈⢻⣿⣿⠁⡀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⠈⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⣽⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣿⣧⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠄⠘⠻⠿⣿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣿⠿⠟⠃⠄⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
twitch chat
April 2019
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

I hate gaming laptops

Today when I walked into my economics class I saw something I dread every time I close my eyes. Someone had brought their new gaming laptop to class. The Forklift he used to bring it was still running idle at the back. I started sweating as I sat down and gazed over at the 700lb beast that was his laptop. He had already reinforced his desk with steel support beams and was in the process of finding an outlet for a power cable thicker than Amy Schumer's thigh. I start shaking. I keep telling myself I'm going to be alright and that there's nothing to worry about. He somehow finds a fucking outlet. Tears are running down my cheeks as I send my last texts to my family saying I love them. The teacher starts the lecture, and the student turns his laptop on. The colored lights on his RGB Backlit keyboard flare to life like a nuclear flash, and a deep humming fills my ears and shakes my very soul. The entire city power grid goes dark. The classroom begins to shake as the massive fans begin to spin. In mere seconds my world has gone from vibrant life, to a dark, earth shattering void where my body is getting torn apart by the 150mph gale force winds and the 500 decibel groan of the cooling fans. As my body finally surrenders, I weep, as my school and my city go under. I fucking hate gaming laptops.
December 2020

i graduated top of my class from burger king

twitchquotes: you fucking vegan, ill have you know i graduated top of my class from burger king university in burger flipping and have flipped over 9000 burgers in my day you dumb vegan, but you wouldn't know that would you you soy muncher? If you said that to my face I would be flipping patties all over your vegan face and you'd be full of my meat before you even knew what was happening.
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla

December 2021. Cathie Wood owns 100% of palantir and 110% of Tesla (Elon Musk invented a more efficient form of security). ARK ETFs are trading at minimum $1,000 a share and investors are signing 10-year pledges just for the privilege. I log on to my Tesla taxi app and order a car. A vintage Roadster pulls up with EDM playing at a tasteful volume. "Where to, King?" asks the anime girl on the console. "You know where", I reply. Palantir knows. We both laugh and the car takes off to Wendys.
March 2021

WallStreetBets

Have you considered playing Raid Shadow Legends

twitchquotes: (name). You always play (game). Have you considered playing a turn base MMORPG Raid Shadow Legends. With the code TtS you'll get 50,000 silver and a free epic champion as part of the new player program to start your journey! Good luck and I'll see you there!
twitch chat
June 2021

sellout

I am going to short the whole country of South Africa

I assure you, this ISN'T going to get political. Because by all accounts South Africa is screwed. My planned position is bottom paragraph. Under the current ANC government there has been a general degeneration of all aspects of South Africa. Due to systemic nepotism, there are math teachers that don't know what square roots are, army officers that can't read, and cops that have never fired a gun. The practice of fictitious employees that take checks but don't work there is widespread enough that the government has drove itself into insolvency already. Estimates are that some 80% of government funds are misused in some way, ranging from government subsidies given to businesses owned by government officials to simply going missing from accounts. The ANC solved this, against advise of wiser people, with quantitative easing. Which is a fancy term for printing money, and since they could never possibly reverse that printer they're inflating the South African Rand which is why they've had two bouts of inflation near 9% twice in the past 20 years. That is all besides how the largely defunct government doesn't prevent anything on the ground. Roaming bands of pirates (many affiliates of the Marxist Economic Freedom Fighter party) will poison guard dogs and torture and murder residents often for as little as car keys and groceries. Many communities are functionally independent and take the law in their own hands, and in many areas utilities are defunct (untreated sewage goes in the river, untreated tap water comes out and it smells as disgusting as it sounds). South Africans are more likely to have their asylum applications accepted than any other nation as there are so many tales of rape and murder and threats of ethnic cleansing. This equates to the most educated citizens leaving SA and most SA based businesses diversifying out of the country as literacy rates have been falling. These disillusioned departures are not new, as they include the most famous Afrikaner in history Elon Musk who is now a naturalized American. Edit: The Economic Freedom Fighter's usual acronym isn't used because it's also the ticker for a penny stock. I first thought about shorting South Africa over a year ago when I was researching the country (I'm a historian, I read much on the country for fun). I found the only index tracking SA (EZA) wasn't an accurate representation of SA economy and buying puts on it was useless. It tracked only the largest cap firms, which are the aforementioned companies diversifying out of SA (mostly to other parts of Africa). Which is why it's a volatile ETF that overall trades sideways. Buying puts on it wouldn't really capitalize on SA going full Rhodesia/Zimbabwe. Zimbabwe having experienced the general breakup of modern institutions and hyperinflation due to similar problems. My new broker, IBKR, allows negative currency positions as long you post 10% as collateral. Now my native currency are US dollars, where inflation in 2020 was 1.4% while the South African Rand's inflation was 4.12% in 2020. That equals a 26.8% return on investment per year from that simple short position. But I'm expecting US Dollar inflation to stay between 1-2% a year while the Rand (ticker ZAR) stays north of 4% with inflation spikes inevitable over the next decade. This position also reduces my market beta, much needed for me as I've got hugely leveraged positions on American ETFs. This isn't a short term swing trade, I'm waiting for SA to implode.
February 2021

WallStreetBets

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing