[Copypasta] The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is strange to me

twitchquotes: The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is so... strange to me. I put on a streamer and the chat is just animated emojis of pepes and some random guy laughing, almost no actual conversation. And that's after installing the damn extension to see those things. Before it was just a constant barrage of "LUL pepega ezclap" and I had no clue what the fuck was going on, or what a monkAS was...
twitch chat
January 2019
I used to be a real ad
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How to kill a geologist

Disclaimer: my hatred of geologists is purely theatrical, but if I did have to kill one for some reason, it would be very easy. I’d brandish my obsidian knife at them and they’d be compelled to approach. “That’s very cool,” they’d say, confident in their superior strength and endurance from all the rocks they carry around at all times. They’d shower me with very interesting facts about obsidian and hover just out of range of the cutting edge, waiting for me to exhaust myself. “But as it is volcanic glass, it’s very fragile, you see, and isn’t well-suited for use as a weap—” and then I’d hit them with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals.
January 2022

VEGAN COPY PASTA

twitchquotes: One day I was watching Kripp and I wanted to be cool like everyone in chat, so I made my own copy pastaroni. Here it is guys. I tried my hardest to be witty, clever, and funny. This what I like to call VEGAN COPY PASTA. Please copy and paste as much as you like, as it is not only entertaining but also healthy for you!
twitch chat
January 2017
Kripp

Minecraft, but he's torturing my cock and balls.

In this video, I have to beat Minecraft while my friend is torturing my cock and balls. He has a humbler, a stretcher and can actively kick them at any time he wishes. Can I beat the Ender Dragon before my testicles are ruptured? Watch to find out. Also, according to Youtube statistics, only a small percentage of people who watch my videos are actually subscribed, so if you end up liking this video, consider subscribing. It's free and you can always unsubscribe. Enjoy the video.
June 2021

Buddha

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠤⠒⠒⠢⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡯⠴⠶⠶⠒⠢⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡎⡤⠖⠂⡀⠒⡢⡌⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣷⠯⢭⣵⠑⣯⡭⢹⡎⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡆⠀⢠⣤⠄⠀⣸⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣷⢄⣈⣟⢁⢴⠿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⢴⠒⡝⠁⠬⠛⣚⡩⠔⠉⢻⠒⣦⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢎⠁⡌⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⡛⠀⡷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣷⣠⠃⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⠀⢹⢰⠁⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠟⢿⢳⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⣶⣘⢞⡀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⢺⣯⢹⢰⡏⠒⠒⠒⠊⠀⠐⢒⣾⣹⣸⢹⣾⡇⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣏⣾⠃⠀⣼⡟⣢⣀⡠⠤⣀⡰⢋⡝⣱⣹⠇⣿⣧⣴⠸⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⡞⡆⢠⡇⣟⠭⡒⠭⠭⠤⠒⣡⠔⣽⡇⣂⣿⠟⠃⢀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢧⡇⡧⢫⠃⣷⣽⣒⣍⣉⣈⡩⢴⠾⡳⢡⢸⣛⣪⡗⢴⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⢃⠷⣸⣤⣯⢞⡥⢍⣐⣂⠨⠅⠊⡠⢃⣟⢏⠹⣎⣆⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⡠⠶⠚⠛⠛⠽⢹⡟⡖⢓⠿⣝⠓⠒⠒⠒⠭⢤⠗⣯⣩⣽⣿⠷⣾⣿⢷⣆⠀ ⠜⣌⠢⢄⣀⡀⠀⡞⢡⠘⢄⠑⠨⢉⣀⠉⣀⠄⢊⠜⡸⠛⣿⡍⠉⠉⠈⢁⠁⠇ ⠈⢯⡓⠦⠤⠬⠭⣵⠀⠱⢄⠑⠲⠤⠤⠤⠤⠒⢁⡔⠁⢠⣏⣡⣤⣤⡶⠜⣻⠃ ⠀⠈⠙⠛⠒⠛⠻⠯⠕⠤⣀⣉⣓⣒⣂⣒⣒⣊⣁⣠⠔⠛⠂⠒⠛⠓⠛⠚⠉⠀
ascii art
January 2021

Why Attack on Titan is a flawed anime

As a big fan of AoT, one big plothole that has always bugged me from the first episode is the exclusion of genitals. As titans are very clearly based on humans, and canonically are created from humans, why did Isayama decide to exclude Titan genitals? I am not a homo, (I have 2 girl friends) but seeing Eren transform into a titan with a 12 foot long cock as the people of Marley watch in horror would easily made this anime my favourite of all time. I think we should cancel Isayama on Twitter and get him to realise his mistake and redraw his previous chapters accurately.
January 2021
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