[Copypasta] The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is strange to me

twitchquotes: The whole twitch chat "sub-culture" is so... strange to me. I put on a streamer and the chat is just animated emojis of pepes and some random guy laughing, almost no actual conversation. And that's after installing the damn extension to see those things. Before it was just a constant barrage of "LUL pepega ezclap" and I had no clue what the fuck was going on, or what a monkAS was...
twitch chat
January 2019
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Infinite poop

twitchquotes: Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
twitch chat
June 2019

Classic

Rania is playing hardstone

twitchquotes: The year is 2017 - Rania is playing hardstone while her puerto rican lover performs felatio on her. She queues into an UNKNOWN and instantly receives a message from the Kripp. "This is so unfair! It`s not my fault vegans can`t eat p*#sy! You have 30 minutes to come back home before I shoot myself and dex in the face with my vegan gun!" She aggressively slams the desk: "DAMN IT!". "Que se pasa amor" Antonio looks up perplexed, She replies: "Turn 1 go first zombie chow...".
twitch chat
August 2017
Kripp

Hearthstone

Roleplay as a tournament organizer

twitchquotes: (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ) Hi Amaz, could you roleplay as a tournament organizer, but then get caught re-seeding your friends and pretend that your tournament is legit? Thanks (โ—•โ€ฟโ—•โœฟ)
twitch chat
March 2015
Amaz

Hearthstone

Why are we whispering

twitchquotes: เบˆู„อœเบˆ สทสฐสธ แตƒสณแต‰ สทแต‰ สทสฐหขแต–แต‰สณโฟแต เบˆู„อœเบˆ
twitch chat
August 2014
Riot Games

OURcraft?!?!?

Youtube? More like OURtube, am I right?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ I'll put a picture of Staling next to this, so the meme will be super-duper funny!! Get it? Get it? Cause communism, you know, its about making everything shared, right? So you see, this joke is so clever because instead of saying "you", I say OURS! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜œ Get it? Get it? Cuz ours is like its SHARED XD. Man, i'm soooo clever. You know what, it seems to me like I'm really good at these camunism jokes, so I'll try making more!! How about instead of minecraft we say OURcraft? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿคฎ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚ Get it? Cause commanism!!! Oh, how about, whenever I see something that breaks or falls apart, I'll ask in a very clever and humorous way: "What is this, the USSR?" Get it? Its cause the USSSSSSR also fell apart!! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ Or maybe I'll call anything that has the colour red in it COMMUNIST!! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคข๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Cuz you know, the USssSSSSR's flag is ALSO RED!!!!
December 2020

Emoji Pasta

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