Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! Youâre going to be in a great mood all day, because youâre going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look hereâs a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you donât have to switch any blades.
Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- thatâs why you donât have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza.
Youâre going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now youâre going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this youâre going to have an exciting life now.
Look hereâs a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and youâre going to love this. You donât have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go.
Youâre going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isnât that beautiful on your ice cream.
TWITCH WARNING: 
I won't sub cause I'm afraid he will punch me too