[Copypasta] I donated $3

twitchquotes: Yo wtf. I donated $3 (my daily allowance from my parents) to play Lil Pump - ESSKEETIT (fav song) and he isn't playing it. Hello? Why is this chat allowing this streamer to get away with this? Why are you idiots just spamming your 'memes' instead of trying to get my song played? Fuck this. This is the last time I donate. I hope you spend your $3 wisely, jerk.
twitch chat
September 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Joe Rogan is obsessed with cooking meat over fire

I have become obsessed with cooking meat over fire. I get prepared for it. I make sure I'm hungry before I cook it. The smell of the smoke and the aroma of the crackling meat ignites some ancient genetic memories. It makes cooking and eating significantly better.
January 2022

Joe Rogan

So that was a bruh moment

twitchquotes: She said she was “pregnant,” but I wasn’t buying that. I knew she had gas, and a lot of it. I knew that, if properly coaxed out, she had to potential for the greatest fart *EVER*. So one night I walked into her room and slowly approached her belly, and with my entire weight, I performed the greatest pile driver I have ever done. But instead of the thunderous sound expected, I heard a squish sound. Turns out she was pregnant. So that was a bruh moment.
twitch chat
November 2020

HOW LONG CAN THIS GO ON

twitchquotes: ⛏ FeelsBadMan HOW LONG ⛏ FeelsBadMan CAN THIS ⛏ FeelsBadMan GO ON ⛏ FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
September 2017

Hearthstone

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub

Jacked off in the shower while laying down in the tub -- shower water raining down from above. It was very nice and ended nicely. Later that day, I went to take a shit. Shit wouldn't come out, and I felt an odd tugging sensation between my ass cheeks. Thought I was dying and started freaking out while I tried to pinch my shit off to investigate. Turns out my jizz had found its way into my ass cheeks while laying down in the tub, mingled with all my ass hair, and solidified into a gelatinous plaster. Upon shitting, the hair was so fucked together that my cheeks couldn't separate for the shit to emerge (felt like that playdoh hair salon toy). I ended up having such a massacre of shitcum on my ass and hands that I had to get back in the shower just to clean off.
December 2020

WideHard

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⡀⠀⣤⣶⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣦⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠒⠒⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡦⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⣭⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠛⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆ ⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠯⠤⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⠛⠋⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠀⠀⠒⠂⠐⠶⠖⠐⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡀⠀⣴⣶⡶⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⠿⢿⣿⡷⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⣶⠀⠈⠉⠉⠉⢿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡖⠓⠀⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠶⠶⢶⠾⣶⣶⠶⠖⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣾⣿⠖⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠦⢤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣈⣀⠸⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
June 2021
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