[Copypasta] Flex Tape

twitchquotes: To show you the power of Flex Tape, I SAWED THIS BOAT IN HALF and repaired it with only Flex Tape. Not only does Flex Tape's powerful adhesive hold the boat together, but it creates a super strong, water-tight seal so the inside is completely dry. YEE DOGGIE! Just cut, peel, stick, and seal. Imagine everything you can do with the power of Flex Tape!
twitch chat
August 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

Red sus. Red suuuus

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks. Hahahaha!
October 2020

Among Us / Amogus

Classic

hafu you keep calling your boyfriend dog

twitchquotes: hey hafu i saw that u keep calling your boyfriend "dog". as a new viewer this is kinda off putting and gives the vibe that u hate men. is it possible to call him david instead
twitch chat
June 2019
Hafu

Sneaky goes to town

twitchquotes: It was a hot and sultry night at the c9 gaming house. everyone was in bed except for meteos and sneaky. "we can't keep doing this, baby" says sneaky. "put that mouth to use, you dirty tramp" replies meteos. "LCS starts tmrw, and if you expect me to carry you again, i need to you to suck me to completion." sneaky grins sl*ttily, and goes to town
twitch chat
January 2015
Sneaky

League of Legends

Only the saltiest one can hold both salts

twitchquotes: PJSalt ___ PJSalt only the saltiest one can hold both salt cans โŽ Kappa โŽ 
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Never lucky veganism

twitchquotes: In a new study scientists aimed to find the origin of luck by studying an internet celebrity known as Kripparian, famous for playing a children's card game for thousands to watch, after inumerous claims of being "never lucky" while playing said game. The scientists eventually isolated a single variable known only to this particular individual: veganism. While it might yet be soon to draw any conclusions, scientists seem to agree that a meat-rich diet is indeed the cure for "never lucky".
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing