[Copypasta] I cam I saw I came I saw

twitchquotes: I came πŸƒ I saw πŸ‘€ I came πŸƒ I saw πŸ‘€ I praise πŸ™ the Lord πŸ˜‡ then break πŸ’₯ the law πŸ‘©β€βš–οΈ I take πŸ–οΈ what's mine πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ then take πŸ–οΈ some more 😌 It rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆ it rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆
twitch chat
August 2018
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas

This is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva

twitchquotes: Hello Kripparian, this is your father Vyascheslav from Moskva. I have started working overtime at the power plant, and your sister Tatyana has gone to Berlin to sell her body to Kraut swine for money. We do all this to pay for your "Stoned Heart of the Cards" game. Please win tournament and send us rubles soon, so our family can be together again.
twitch chat
May 2016
Kripp

Hearthstone

GME stock and WSB vs short sellers

Let me tell you what happens tomorrow because it's even worse than what happened today. There they are, Melvin Capital. Furiously jerking their 2 inch boomer cocks to their GME short gainz. They are so close, edging themselves with "Oh yeah, the next Blockbuster" and "Yes baby, brick and mortar go bye-bye." They even sit in a circle sucking and jerking each other off, double fisting like they're skiing down Mt. Everest with cocks instead of poles. Out of nowhere, Ryan Cohen steps in with the most massive and vieniest schlong they've ever seen. He starts eating their lunch and muttering about Cheey for games and they can't do anything because their engorged penises are stuck in eachothers mouths and poop chutes. They attempt to ignorr him and try to keep jerking but they accidentally used hand sanitizer instead of lotion. BAM GME starts rising from the ashes and the retards of WSB are lighting the fires. We brought lighters that we borrowed from our wives boyfriend's and they weren't those shitty clear one. We have motherfucking Bics and torches. Melvin is crying and pleading but we are too retarded to understand coherent English. They see giant red dildos on their screens and their buttholes begin to pucker. They dump everything they have at us in an attempt to supress the price but again, we only understand broken english and emojis. We only understand basic visuals and colors. When we see green, we buy. When we see red, we take out another student loan or CC cash advance and we buy more. We are fucking unstoppable. GME skyrockets and they start scrambling to pull dicks out of random orifices, but it's too late. Bears R Fuk. After we are done splooging all over their faces, and becoming their wife's new boyfriends, we throw Melvin and BOA on the chopping block to be liquidated and disposed of. That's what happens tomorrow, and we are gonna turn that shit into a movie.
December 2020

WallStreetBets

Small but dedicated scene in Antarctica

twitchquotes: Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a Switch to boot up when it's -135 degrees outside? Out here in Antarctica, we have a small but dedicated scene. I'm the only human among us, but we have some high level penguins as well. You mess with the waddle, you mess with all of us
twitch chat
February 2019

Super Smash Bros

DAPPER NO

twitchquotes: smallcat why are you so small FeelsGoodMan mellow why are you so cute FeelsGoodMan Lisha i love you FeelsGoodMan DAPPER NO FeelsBadMan
twitch chat
July 2017
imaqtpie

I’m sick and tired of people stating that Hunter takes no skill

twitchquotes: I’m sick and tired of people stating that Hunter takes no skill. What about when you have to play Unleash and go face, or how about when you have to equip the bow and go face. Then there’s those times where you have to drop Wolfrider or Arcane Golum and go face. Seriously people just hate because they don't appreciate how hard it is to smash your head on the keyboard and still manage to click the arrow on your opponents Face. No Copy Pastachino Cappachino Postachio Mochachino Hunterino Pepperino Jelly Queeno
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen
More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing