[Copypasta] NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN

twitchquotes: To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
twitch chat
July 2018
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Ram Ranch lyrics

18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks! Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard! Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut! Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks! 18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks! Hot hard buff cowboys their ccks throbbing hard! 18 more wild cowboys out in the yard! Big bulging ccks ever so hard! Orgy in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing c*cks ramming cowboy butt! Like a breeding ram wanting to rut! 18 naked cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! Big hard throbbing ccks wanting to be sucked! 18 naked cowboys wanting to be fcked! Cowboys in the showers at Ram Ranch! On their knees wanting to suck cowboy c*cks! Ram Ranch really rocks! Big hard throbbing ccks getting sucked real deep! Cowboys even getting fcked in their sleep! Ram Ranch, it rocks! Cowboys love big hard throbbing c*cks!
April 2021

Eddy Pasterino and YouPorn wants to sponsor Reynad

twitchquotes: Wᴇʟʟ Mᴇᴛ ʀᴇʏɴᴀᴅ! ɪᴛ ɪs ғᴀᴍᴏᴜs ᴘᴏʀɴ ᴅɪʀᴇᴄᴛᴏʀ ᴇᴅᴅʏ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇʀɪɴᴏ. ᴍʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʏ (ʏᴏᴜᴘᴏʀɴ) ᴡᴀɴᴛs ᴛᴏ sᴘᴏɴsᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴀʀᴅsᴛᴏɴᴇ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴇᴀᴍ. ᴀs ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ sᴛᴀʀ ɪɴ ᴏɴᴇ ᴏɴ ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇs. ɪᴛ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ'ᴛ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʟᴀᴅɪᴇs ɪɴ ɪᴛ ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°).
twitch chat
July 2014
Reynad

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

AITA for not going to my friend’s funeral home if he isn’t coming to mine?

So me (69m) and my friend (69m) were at waffle house (7300 Innerplan Dr, North Little Rock, Arkansas 72113-7645, US) and were discussing funerals (6-9k). I mentioned that since I will be attending his funeral (approx. 2032) that it would be impudent for him not to turn up to mine (approx. 2036). Long story short, this lead for him to swing a naughty haymaker (right) directly aiming for my jaw when I rapidly dodged and gave the cheeky cunt a swift uppercut (broken nose). He is now hospitalized (critical condition) and I am now currently evading law enforcement (on foot). My family (69f wife, 54m son, 69f wife) have been trying to contact me but I keep telling them if I ever see that punk again, I will give him a little combo (right hook, left hook, headbutt then roundhouse kick). If he is still moving I will stomp on his head until he is a little red smear on the bottom of my boot (black timberlands). I know I’m right but I feel as if I may have overreacted a tiny bit (not too much) AITA?
November 2019

Am I The Asshole?

РУССКИЙ ИЛИ БУНТ

twitchquotes: ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ РУССКИЙ ИЛИ БУНТ ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ﾉ
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp
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