[Copypasta] NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN

twitchquotes: To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
twitch chat
July 2018
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STFU

⠀⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀⠤⣀ ⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⡞⠻⠀⠛⢻⡟⠛⠀⡞⠉⠀⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⠳⢦⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⣀⠀⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⣦⡼⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⡏⠀⠀⢧⣀⡼⠀⠀⡜ ⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡜ ⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠒⠉⠀
ascii art
August 2021

Fired for masturbating on a Zoom call

So this just happened an hour ago and I am still shaking. I’m a staff in public accounting and was in the middle of a 3-hour training on Zoom. Usually when we have these types of calls I just keep the video running in the background and I walk around the room doing things to pass the time and distract myself from the monotone presenters. Well today I forgot that I left the camera on (I usually always have it off but earlier today I had a call with the partner to discuss my upcoming promotion, so I had to have it on). I had no clue I had left the camera on and in the middle of walking around and muttering to myself as I was zoning out, I flipped it out and started to rub one out. I did so with complete confidence, openly and ferociously, stroking faster and faster until I heard the presenter stop and kindly asked me to turn my camera off. Mortified, I lifted my pants up and rushed over to turn the camera off. Soon after the training was over I had a call with HR and they let me know that I was being terminated. I hated the job anyway so not so bummed about that, but I’m not sure what to say in interviews now if I’m asked why I left this job. Any advice?
June 2021

where the vegan sun don't shine

twitchquotes: Hey dirtbag, this is Pogo's father. I hear you trash talking my son and ignoring my wife. I know you got some weird murloc fetish but you better pick my son or I'll get my old high school buddy Tanner and we will shove those carrots where the vegan sun don't shine.
twitch chat
May 2020
Kripp

Hearthstone

15 camels

twitchquotes: Hey Forsen, this Ali Muhammed from ISIS camp in Syria. Because you played that Skrillex song defiling our god we will now bomb your home unless you pay us 15 camels.
twitch chat
January 2015
Forsen

More than 6 characters

twitchquotes: Hi so im new to overwatch and I have a suggestion. This game looks pretty fun, but I think it would be better if there was more than 6 characters. Do you agree?
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

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