[Copypasta] NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN

twitchquotes: To Iranian President Rouhani: NEVER, EVER THREATEN THE UNITED STATES AGAIN OR YOU WILL SUFFER CONSEQUENCES THE LIKES OF WHICH FEW THROUGHOUT HISTORY HAVE EVER SUFFERED BEFORE. WE ARE NO LONGER A COUNTRY THAT WILL STAND FOR YOUR DEMENTED WORDS OF VIOLENCE & DEATH. BE CAUTIOUS!
twitch chat
July 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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Liberty Mutual Auto Insurance

twitchquotes: 🚶You owned a car 🚗🚗 for 4⏰📅 years⏰👍. You🚶 named it👱 Brad👱. You💑❤💗 loved💕Brad💕😙. And then you🚶⚠ totaled⚠🚧🚗🚙 him🚦. You two 💏💑had been through everything 👬together🎭. 👬2 boyfriends👬, 🔨🔧3 jobs🔫,❌ nothing ❌could replace👱 Brad🍆🍆. Then Liberty Mutual📞📞📞 calls, and you break into your 😊happy😊 💃dance💃💃🍆.
twitch chat
October 2016

Response to "go fuck yourself"

What if I'm already fucking myself? Behind this simple insult hides a universal paradox that may put your sexuality in question. Let's do a simple thought experiment: imagine us two standing in front of each other. I, of course, am wearing a pair of jeans, that are covering my genitals and my butt. You then command me to "go fuck myself". I may be fucking myself already. I may as well not be fucking myself already. Until my dick and its position relative to my ass is observed, it is simultaneously in my ass, but also outside of it - thus, it stays in superposition. The moment you lay eyes on my penis, both states collide with each other and become either one. You may have already guessed what the problem here is. As soon as a single photon reflected by my dick enters either one of your eyes, you become gay. The only way to avoid this is to not observe my penis. But if you don't look at it, then you will never know if your insult had any effect, thus rendering it meaningless. Since you have already made the insult, you are now, too, in superposition - you're either wrong, or gay. It's unfortunate, really - you dug a hole for yourself without even knowing it. All you can do now is accept it, and learn from your mistakes.
April 2020

Classic

American Freedom speaking to Kripp

twitchquotes: ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴋʀɪᴘᴘ ᴛʜɪs ɪs ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ғʀᴇᴇᴅᴏᴍ. ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀᴛ ғɪʟᴛᴇʀs ᴀʀᴇ ʀᴜɪɴɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʜᴀᴛ sᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ ғɪx ɪᴛ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs ᴏᴠᴇʀ. sɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ *** ****. ᴘʟs ɴᴏ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀʟ ᴘᴀᴄɪɴᴏ ***ɪɴᴏ ****ʀɪɴᴏ.
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Old WeirdChamp

⡈⠉⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣛⣛⣛⣛⣩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣭⣵⢸⣿⣿⣿⡆⡀ ⠄⢀⣤⠛⢛⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣭⣭⣥⣾⣯⣭⣭⣽⣇⢻⣿⢻⣿⡇ ⠄⠈⠁⡐⡄⠋⠉⣀⣀⣀⡈⠉⠻⢿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣻⡛⠫⠿⠿⠿⠿⠸⢋⣿⢟⡇ ⠄⠠⡆⡇⠈⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡂⠄⠛⠃⠄⣐⡟⠓⠄⠄⣀⣀⣠⣤⣀⠉⣼⡇ ⠆⠄⣭⠁⠱⢝⡋⠠⠄⠄⢴⣒⣉⣀⡀⣓⣶⣶⠆⠄⠘⠋⠉⠛⠻⢿⣿⠄⣿⡇ ⡔⠄⣿⣿⡇⢙⣛⣒⠒⢒⣊⣩⣩⣿⡇⢸⣿⣿⢸⡷⣲⣾⣅⠒⢁⣠⣍⣤⠿⠇ ⠄⢀⠟⢻⣿⣵⣦⣤⣬⣤⣤⣴⣿⠋⠄⣼⣿⣿⠈⢰⣄⠚⠒⠤⠤⢔⣻⣿⡒⠄ ⠄⠈⠄⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣀⠄⣾⣿⣿⡇⠸⢿⣿⣶⣶⣮⣍⣁⠄⡆⠄ ⠄⠄⣦⢛⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣁⠚⠿⣿⢠⠿⣿⣿⡇⢸⡆⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣴⡷⠄ ⡆⠄⠄⠰⡫⠏⠷⠋⢀⣾⢿⡳⣀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣦⡙⠟⣿⣟⣿⡏⢃⣰ ⡇⠄⠄⠄⠈⢁⠄⡶⠊⣇⡈⣥⣭⣽⡆⠄⠄⠲⣤⣈⢋⡿⣷⠄⢱⠖⠛⢱⣼⣿ ⣧⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠚⠉⠭⠭⠍⠻⠯⡭⠭⣟⡳⠆⣿⡇⣼⠺⠱⠈⣿⣿ ⣿⠄⠄⣵⡈⣹⡷⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣀⣒⣖⣒⡒⠒⣒⢠⣶⣦⡉⣶⡗⢱⠇⣼⣿⣿ ⡿⢠⠄⠘⢣⠈⠄⢻⣬⡘⠋⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠊⠄⠚⠏⣐⣵⠛⠁⢊⣤⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⢹⣧⠄⠈⢃⠄⠄⠘⢛⣷⣤⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣬⢹⠟⢿⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
ascii art
November 2021

I apologize, as my English is rather substandard

twitchquotes: I apologize, as my English is rather substandard At what whereabouts were you when the popular browser video game Club Penguin shut down? I was in mine place of residence, when my communications device informed me that someone wanted to contact me. "Club Penguin, the popular browser MMO has shut down." "I disagree"
twitch chat
January 2020
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