[Copypasta] Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas

twitchquotes: Kripp, this is Aquaman, King of the Seas, and I need your help. The salinity of our oceans has reached an all-time low, and only you, with your incredible salt output, can restore them to their proper levels. The fate of countless species of fish and other marine life rests in your scrawny vegan hands. Lend me your aid and I will reveal the ancient Atlantean cure for male-pattern baldness! Aquaman out!
twitch chat
April 2018
Kripp
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Kripp drained Greece's entire supply of Oranges

twitchquotes: Ｋｒｉｐｐ， ｉｔｓ Ｓｔａｖｒｏｓ ｔｈｅ Ｆｒｕｉｔ Ｓｅｌｌｅｒ ｆｒｏｍ the bazaar． Ｉ＇ｍ ｓｏｒｒｙ ｔｏ ｔｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ ｂｕｔ ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ ｄｒａｉｎｅｄ Ｇｒｅｅｃｅ＇ｓ ｅｎｔｉｒｅ ｓｕｐｐｌｙ ｏｆ Ｏｒａｎｇｅｓ． Ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｒｉｏｔｉｎｇ ｏｎ ｔｈｅ ｓｔｒｅｅｔｓ ｗｅ ａｄｖｉｓｅ ｙｏｕ ｔｏ ｈｉｄｅ ａｎｙ ＯＪ ｓｕｐｐｌｙ ｙｏｕ ｍｉｇｈｔ ｈａｖｅ ｌｅｆｔ． Ｗｅ ｃａｎ ｎｏｗ ｏｎｌｙ ｓｅｌｌ ｙｏｕ Ｏｌｉｖｅ Ｊｕｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｔｈｅ ｏｄｄ ｊａｒ ｏｆ Ｔｚａｔｚｉｋｉ． Ｐｌｅａｓｅ ｎｏ ｇｙｒｏ ｏｕｚｏ
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March 2014
Kripp

Six foot antlers

twitchquotes: I bet all you beta f*gs don't wear antlers either. Science has shown that the male deers with the largest antlers attract the most females, so obviously the exact same principle works for human females. When I walk into the club reeking of sweat with six foot antlers strapped to my head, I get the attention of every female in the room. Pretty much ever man too, that's how powerful the effect is.
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March 2015
Kripp

Stay positive

twitchquotes: ( ºل͟º) ˢᵗᵃʸ ᵖᵒˢᶦᵗᶦᵛᵉ ( ºل͟º)
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Mad Bomber Diary

twitchquotes: Mad Bomber Diary 11/11/14: Dear Diary, Kripp has played me 200th time today, he always keeps me for his greediest plays like I'm one of his prosterinos. I shall take this torment no more, I demand that he coins me out on an empty board like an honest minion from now on. Pls no copy pasterino my story
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army

twitchquotes: Dear Kripp, this is lieutenant Clitt Nippley of the Greek Army. It has come to our attention that you've been 'BroFisting' many of our citizens against their will. If you continue this, I have full authority to launch a nuclear attack against you and your evil 5 dollar club. You've been warned.
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp
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