[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Shill this half baked product to your loyal fanbase

twitchquotes: Kripp's covetous eyes glisten as the Marvel: Future Fight devs hand over a stack of cash. "Make sure you shill this half baked product to your loyal fanbase" they instruct. Kripp licks his salty lips and mutters an agreeable "k"
twitch chat
July 2017
Kripp

sellout

Oh my gourd, I am financially ruined (agricultural futures)

I have lost everything, and I'm not sure how to continue. This summer I invested $17,500 (six months salary and my entire life savings) into ornamental gourd futures, hoping to capitalize on this lucrative emerging industry. After watching a video about Vincent Kosuga and his monopoly on onions, I decided I'd try to do something similar with another vegetable. I did some research and found out many agricultural forecasters expected this year's gourd yield would be far smaller than the past, due to deteriorating soil conditions in central Mexico and a warmer-than-average spring. At first, demand soared around Halloween and prices skyrocketed, but the gourd bubble burst on November 12th. Unfortunately, the coronavirus caused a massive drop-off in demand due to fewer families decorating their tables for thanksgiving, and prices plummeted. I had invested early enough that I thought I would still be fine, but then on the morning of December 2nd, a new email in my inbox caused my stomach to turn into a pretzel. The massive gourd shipment from Argentina, scheduled for early March, had arrived. I was planning on selling off my futures right before this, in February, but this ruined everything. To top it off, the gourds in this shipment were absolutely gargantuan, some topping 4 pounds each, causing the price-per-pound to drop like an anchor into the range of 6 cents per pound. I am ruined.
January 2021

Classic

WallStreetBets

Troll face 2

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⣤⡴⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⣦⣤⣤⣀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⡴⠶⠛⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠙⠛⠷⠶⢦⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠒⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠒⠒⠐⠒⢒⡀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠒⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠀⠀⢀⠀⢊⠥⢐⠈⠁⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢑⠠⢉⠂⢀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⠀⠈⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⠶⠛⣉⣩⣽⣟⠳⢶⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡶⠛⣻⣿⣯⣉⣙⠳⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣷⣄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣠⠞⠋⠀⢁⣤⣤⣤⣌⡁⠀⠛⠛⠉⣉⡍⠙⠛⠶⣤⠿⠀⢸⠀⠀⡇⠀⠻⠶⠞⠛⠉⠩⣍⡉⠉⠋⠀⣈⣤⡤⠤⢤⣄⠀⠈⠳⣄⠀ ⢰⡏⠀⠀⣴⠋⠀⢀⣆⠉⠛⠓⠒⠖⠚⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠒⠒⠛⠛⠉⣰⣆⠀⠈⢷⡀⠀⠘⡇ ⢸⡇⠀⠀⣧⢠⡴⣿⠉⠛⢶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠠⠤⠤⠄⣶⠒⠂⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣘⠛⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⠶⠛⠉⣿⠷⠤⣸⠃⠀⢀⡟ ⠈⢷⡀⠄⠘⠀⠀⠸⣷⣄⡀⠈⣿⠛⠻⠶⢤⣄⣀⡻⠆⠋⠉⠉⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠐⣛⣀⣤⡴⠶⠛⠋⣿⠀⣀⣠⣾⠇⠀⠀⠋⠠⢁⡾⠃ ⠀⠀⠙⢶⡀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⡙⠻⣿⣷⣤⣀⡀⠀⣿⠛⠛⠳⠶⠦⣴⠶⠶⠶⠛⠛⠋⢿⡀⣀⣠⣤⣾⣿⠟⢉⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⠋⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠈⢻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣤⣼⠉⠙⠻⠿⣿⣿⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣿⡀⣀⣀⣠⣤⣶⣾⣿⠿⠛⠋⠁⢿⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⢠⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⣦⡀⠀⠀⣼⠃⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⣿⡟⠛⠛⠛⠉⠉⠉⢿⡀⠀⣀⣴⠟⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⡾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢦⣀⠀⣀⠀⠀⡈⠛⠷⣾⣇⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣼⡷⠾⠋⢁⠀⢀⡀⠀⣀⡴⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠳⣦⣉⠒⠬⣑⠂⢄⡉⠙⠛⠛⠶⠶⠶⠾⠷⠶⠚⠛⠛⠛⠉⣁⠤⢐⡨⠤⢒⣩⡴⠞⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣤⣉⠀⠂⠥⠀⠀⠤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠠⠌⠂⢈⣡⡴⠖⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠶⣤⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⡴⠞⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠳⠶⠶⠶⠶⠶⠖⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
ascii art
May 2021

Torture dance 4

⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡞⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢃⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢈⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿⣷⣦⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⢉⣻⣿⡇⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⡉⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣋⣴⣿⠟⠋⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⡠⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⡿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣆⡀⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠹⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠂ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⢿⣿⣇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣴⣾⣿⡿⠟⠉⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠂⢿⣿⣥⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⠟⠋⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣾⣿⣿⣷⣿⣃⡀⢴⣿⣿⡿⣿⣍⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠉⠙⠛⠛⠛⠛⠂⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
ascii art
April 2019

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Torture Dance

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

Please give me an All-Access Pass

twitchquotes: I’m a gamer school girl, so, i need money for my college, which is why i can’t by this All-Access Pass. But i hope someone can give me one of them. It means so much for me
twitch chat
February 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing