[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
I used to be a real ad
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Mario poops mods

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ascii art
January 2017

MODS

Classic

Blockchain NFT Gaming

The year is 2030. It's a rainy Saturday afternoon. You've just finished mining 30 obsidian ore playing Crypto Crush Saga, a match-3 mobile game. You open up The Elder Chains Online and feel a rush of excitement. Your school buddy has spent years becoming a Master Blacksmith, and he has agreed to turn 10 obsidian into an Obsidian Battlestaff, a HUGE upgrade over the Mithril Mace you’ve been wielding for the last months. It’ll take him an hour or so. In the meantime, you log into Clash of Guilds, and use the remaining obsidian to upgrade your town hall to the next level. That should keep your village safe for now. You wish you could fast forward time to tonight. Your Guild has plans to go for a deep run into the wilderness in Old School Rune Chains, and your prospects of a successful run (and great loot) have never been better. All guild members have been spending the past 2 weeks grinding for better weapons, and you’ve agreed (through a vote) to use the Guild treasury to buy everyone a new full set of Red Dragonhide Armor. Tonight’s objective is to kill the level 128 Frost Giant hiding in the Cave of Sorrow. He has a 5% chance of dropping an Immaculate Orb of Brilliance, of which there are currently only 4 in existence. The Orb can be used as a power source in an upcoming space exploration game, and should give your guild a great advantage in reaching distant galaxies first. A 5% drop rate is low, but you’re feeling optimistic. In the distance, you hear a faint 'BloCkChAIn doEsNT bRiNg AnYtHiNg nEW tO gAmES'. You shrug, and join your friends in the Discord voice channel. Life is good.
July 2022

Cryptocurrency

NFTs

Henry Stickmin

β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’€β ”β ˆβ β „β ’β ’β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£€β£€β£€β£€β£€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘ β –β ‰β β „β „β „β ˆβ ‰β ’β’€β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β Žβ „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ£†β „β „β’»β‘†β ™β£†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’ β‘‡β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ „β „β „β£·β „β ˜β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⠄⣿⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Ώβ „β „β’°β‘Ÿβ „β’ β ‡β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠙⣄⠄⒀⠄⠄⠄⣸⠇⠄⠄⑿⠁⒠⠏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ “β’€β£‰β β „β „β „β „β£€β‘€β žβ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣽⠉⠉⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘Œβ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘˜β’ β β‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒰⠁Ⓒ⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⑇⠄⠸⠄⒃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ‡β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β‘†β „β ˆβ‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄Ⓒ⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⒃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β‘‡β „β „β ˜β‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β‘Ÿβ‘„β „β „β’£β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β Έβ „β’°β β ˆβ „β „β Œβ ‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Έβ’°β’Œβ‘˜β „β „β ˜β „β šβ’Ώβ‘€β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β Ήβ Έβ „β ‡β „β „β „β ˜β£„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β „β „β ˜β‘„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⑇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⒇⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β‘˜β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’Έβ „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’°β β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˆβ‘†β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β †β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β’‘β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β£Όβ£€β£€β£„β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ˜β Ώβ Ώβ ·β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „ β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β ‰β ›β ›β ‰β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „β „
ascii art
August 2021

I sexually identify as Rick Harrison

twitchquotes: I sexually identify as Rick Harrison. For 21 years I dreamed of working at my very own pawn shop with my old man and my son, Big Hoss. Call me retarded but I don’t care, I’m getting plasticsurgery to install 18th century muskets and vintage movieposters on my body. You can now refer to me as Rick Harrison and respect my right to not know WHAT is gonna come through that door. If you can't acceptme you're a pawnphobe and need to check your door privileges. Thank you for having a story and a price.
twitch chat
August 2016

Rick Harrison

I sexually Identify as

Slap Chop commercial script

Now that I have your attention let me show you this handy new kitchen tool, the Slap Chop! You’re going to be in a great mood all day, because you’re going be slapping your troubles away with the Slap Chop. Now, look here’s a potato. One slap you got big chunks for stew, two slaps home fries in a second. And, look at this when you add a mushroom: the more you do it, the finer it gets you don’t have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad -- you hate making it. You know you hate making salads -- that’s why you don’t have any salad in your diet. Watch this one slap... salad! I love Pizza too, but once in a while get the veggies in, at least throw it on top of the pizza. You’re going to change your eating habits. Soup, Coleslaw, stuff we want, 5 seconds. 4 or 5 seconds, it's done. This thing, this tuna looks boring. Stop having a boring tuna, stop having a boring life. Add this tuna putting it in like this now you’re going to have a nice, tuna, salad. Look at this you’re going to have an exciting life now. Look here’s a hard boiled egg. One chop, you add the pickle; you add the green onion. And what you can do is mix things together add the ham and you’re going to love this. You don’t have time to make breakfast, breakfast to go. You’re going to love my nuts. Watch this: almonds, walnuts. Comes with a cover so you can do everything in the cover. Alright, or you can do it on the board, whatever you like. So easy, one finger, if I can do it with one finger you guys can do it with your whole hand. Kids can do it. You know what they charge at the ice cream store? A dollar for toppings at the ice cream store. Add a couple cookies if you want. So, you can make it for 10 cents. Stop throwing your money away. You know not only nuts what about fruit? Put a mango, look at that isn’t that beautiful on your ice cream.
December 2020
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