[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
Waiting for adblock to be disabled
More Copypastas

Not funny I didn't laugh

Not funny I didn't laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling me the joke. To be honest this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air out of my esophagus. Science says before you laugh your brain preps your face muscles but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10 this joke is so bad I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes, read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny I genuinely mean it on how this is just bottom barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I can be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it, and even then all that joke would get from people is a subtle scuff. You're lucky I still have the slightest of empathy for you after telling that joke otherwise I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in text books so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. Im disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned, but because of that you've waisted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals and there's nobody to blame but you. I hope you're happy with what you have done and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss poor attempt
September 2019

Classic

Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!

twitchquotes: ╰[✖Ĺ̯ಠ]╯Ahoy, matey! Play a pirate rogue or we will be forced stir up a great mutiny!╰[✖Ĺ̯ಠ]╯
twitch chat
March 2015
Reynad

Ben Shapiro Olive Garden breadsticks

Let’s say that, hypothetically, you really did have unlimited breadsticks. Now, since they are unlimited, that means that you will never run out. However, on Earth there is a limited supply of the materials required to make breadsticks. Thus, if I were to attempt to eat as many breadsticks as possible, I would not be able to as eventually you would sell out, am I correct? Now that we have established that there are infinite breadsticks but finite supplies to make them, would it not be reasonable to conclude that you are either breaking the laws of physics, or are lying to me? And since one cannot break the laws of physics, logically you must be lying to me. Facts don’t care about your feelings liberals, you have committed the crime of false advertising and must give me free food or I will inform the authorities.
September 2020

Ben Shapiro

deIlluminati

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠭⠽⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠗⠒⠓⠾⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠛⠚⠋⠁⠓⠲⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣋⡈⣘⢉⢁⣈⠑⢧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣽⢞⣂⣁⣀⡄⣭⣉⡑⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣶⣭⣿⣶⣶⣶⣦⣤⣌⣉⡚⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⡯⠋⠍⠀⠈⡉⠊⢉⡽⢛⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⡾⣟⠲⠛⠆⠈⠉⠉⠩⢿⣧⣔⣺⣼⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⢿⢁⣉⣤⣤⣶⣦⣴⣤⣴⣰⣽⡿⣞⣭⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣟⣱⣶⣿⣿⣿⡇⠰⣻⣿⣟⣿⣟⡷⣟⢾⣷⣯⣗⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⡷⣿⣿⡿⣙⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⣽⣿⢱⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⣭⣙⠌⠩⠓⠃⠡⠙⠻⠿⠿⠽⠛⢁⠁⢚⣿⣾⣷⠿⡛⢿⣧⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣰⠲⡌⠣⠌⣁⠂⠠⠀⠂⠀⠤⢤⢤⢐⡒⠽⣋⣋⠮⠥⡒⢏⣛⣩⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⣴⡽⣯⣉⡳⠀⠄⠌⣄⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣒⣊⡭⠵⠖⠒⢪⣍⣙⣦⣤⡽⢧⠀ ⣰⣟⡷⡆⠽⣃⢉⡐⣂⠄⣁⠐⠀⢂⢐⢀⠓⡐⢒⡚⣇⢉⣫⠡⠭⢲⡾⣛⣾⡆
ascii art
September 2020

Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector

twitchquotes: ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ Greetings Kripp, I am Dr. Hannibal Lector, renowned Psychiatrist based in Baltimore, Maryland. I have heard you are the saltiest man alive, I am intrigued by a man of your... tastes. I would like to invite you for... dinner. ༼ つ ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° ༽つ
twitch chat
January 2015
Kripp

Classic

salty

More Copypastas
Text-to-Speech Playing