[Copypasta] Listen to me, chat. You have a problem

twitchquotes: Listen to me, chat. You have a problem. We both know you're depressed, anxious, and unhealthy in general. You spend all day on Twitch enjoying games vicariously through others and spamming copypastas in chat. This has to stop. I'm asking you NOT to copy and paste this message, but go outside for a change. Get a new hobby. Make some friends. Turn over a new leaf. It's your only hope at this point.
twitch chat
April 2018
I used to be a real ad
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The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population

The year is 2043 Covid variant phi beta epsilon is ravaging 0.0026% of the population, you go outside for your government mandated 30 minute exercise, it's 1 a.m. not the best time, but they alternate your schedule so eventually everyone does get some sunlight. You quadruple mask and put on your plastic helmet. You gaze longingly at the sky. A man riding his bicycle points his flashlight at you "Why aren't you doing your stretches and cardio?" He asks, you recognize him as your neighbor (maybe, it's been some time since you last saw anyone). "It's because of people like you not obeying that the lockdowns have been extended another 4 years." He mumbles through his layers of masks. He reports you to AlphabetGoogle and your social credit score drops 5 points, good luck buying bread this week.
August 2021

COVID

Coronavirus

Ban one brother and you get the whole trailer park

twitchquotes: KKona BAN KKona ONE KKona BROTHER KKona AND KKona YOU KKona GET KKona THE KKona WHOLE KKona TRAILER KKona PARK
twitch chat
March 2017

MODS

Ban X Get The Whole Y

FNATIC World Championships

▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āŪœÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž ████░██▄░██░░▄███▄░░████░██░░▄███▄ ██▄░░███▄██░██▀░▀██░░██░░██░██▀░▀▀ ██▀░░██▀███░███████░░██░░██░██▄░▄▄ ██░░░██░░██░██░░░██░░██░░██░░▀███▀ ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮āŪœÛĐ۞ÛĐāŪœâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Žâ–Ž
ascii art
October 2015
Riot Games

League of Legends

I legit LOVE this emote

twitchquotes: TehePelo <--- I legit LOVE this emote, but because of normie people I rarely (if not at all) get to use this emote. It's depressing having something you love, being taken away from you by a despicable small group.
twitch chat
December 2017

Weebs

Doublelift: I don't make many mechanical mistakes

twitchquotes: I'm really confident that we'll be the way better bot lane. (Laughs) I see games where G2's bot lane is 100 CS down, losing tower, and getting killed 2 vs 2. I can't remember any games like that for us. CoreJJ and I don't make many mechanical mistakes and I think we play a lot cleaner in general. -- Doublelift 2019
twitch chat
May 2019
Riot Games

League of Legends

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