[Copypasta] Why is Jake even a meme?

Dragon Rider

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄██ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄▄▄██████ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄██████████ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀▀▀█████████ ░░░░░░░░░░░▄██▀░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░██████ ░░░░░░░░░▄▀▀░█░░▄██░░░░░░░░██▄▄░░░██████ ░░░░░░░▄█▀░▄█░▄█▀█░░░░░░░▄▀▄░██░░▄██████ ░░░░░░░▄█▀░▀▄█▀▄█▀░░░░░░░▀▄░░▀██▄███████ ░░░░░█▀░░░░░░░░█░░░░░░░░░░░█▄▀▀█████████ ░░░░█░░░░░▄██░░▀▄░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░░░████████ ░░░█▀░░▄█▀██▄░░░░▀▄░░░░░▄▀░▄█▄░░░███████ ░░█░░░█████▀▀▀░░░░░▀░▄▄▀░▄████░░░███████ ░▄█░░░▀▀░░░░░░░░░░░▄▀░░▄█████▀░░░▄██████ ▄█░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▀█▄▀▀░▄▄▀░░▄▄▀███████ ▀░░░▄▄▄█░░░▄▄░░░░░░░░░░▄█▀░░▄▀▀░░░░░▀▀▀▀ ░░▄▀▀░░░░▄█▀░▀▀▀▀▄█▄░▄▄█▄▄░▀▀▄▄░░░░░░░░░ ▄▀░░░░▄█▀░░░░░░░░░██████████▄░▀▀███▄▄▄▄░ ░▄▄██▀░░░░░░░░▄████████████████░████████

ascii art

August 2018

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out. I have this fantasy where we start talking at the Vanity Fair Oscars party bar. We exchange a few pleasantries. She asks what I do. I say I loved her in New Girl. She laughs. I get my drink. "Well, see ya," I say and walk away. I've got her attention now. How many guys voluntarily leave a conversation with Natalie Portman? She touches her neck as she watches me leave. Later, as the night's dragged on and the coterie of gorgeous narcissists grows increasingly loose, she finds me on the balcony, my bowtie undone, smoking a cigarette. "Got a spare?" she asks. "What's in it for me?" I say as I hand her one of my little white ladies. She smiles. "Conversation with me, duh." I laugh. "What's so funny?" she protests. "Nothing, nothing... It's just... don't you grow tired of the egos?" "You get used to it," she says, lighting her cigarette and handing me back the lighter. "What would you do if you weren't an actress?" I ask. "Teaching, I think." "And if I was your student, what would I be learning?" "Discipline," she says quickly, looking up into my eyes, before changing the subject. "Where are you from?" "Bermuda," I say. "Oh wow. That's lovely." "It's ok," I admit. "Not everything is to my liking." "What could possibly be not to your liking in Bermuda?" she inquires. "I don't like sand," I tell her. "It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."

January 2021

Classic

Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

twitchquotes: Let me tell you a story. I was once a young pistachio like you. But then I saw the light. I saw the kripp and let the kripp into my life. Now I am a grand old cashew with a pepperoni plantation to boot. Don't make the mistake I once did and deny the kripp. Kripp is love. Kripp is life. Praise the Kripp. Amen.

twitch chat

May 2014

Kripp

Rick Astley

⠁⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠿⢿⣿⠿⠟⠛⠛⠛⠛⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣗⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠈⠉⣉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠥⠠⠙⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠒⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⣻⣷⡄⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣴⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⠶⠾⠿⠿⠛⠁⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿

ascii art

November 2021

What is a GOAT?

twitchquotes: The domestic goat or simply goat (Capra aegagrus hircus) is a subspecies of C. aegagrus domesticated from the wild goat of Southwest Asia and Eastern Europe.

twitch chat

February 2019

[Copypasta] Why is Jake even a meme?

Dragon Rider

Natalie Portman is the reason I work out

Classic

Young pistachio becomes grand old cashew

Rick Astley

What is a GOAT?

Overwatch

Confirm Subscription