[Copypasta] Why is Jake even a meme?

twitchquotes: Why is Jake even a meme? Are really so inconsiderate and stupid so as to think that its funny? You just post it like its some kind of joke, when in reality, Jake is a serious player at the top of his game, and deserves your respect. For this reason, I refuse to spam J LUL KE
twitch chat
March 2018
What happened to this ad? :(
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There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist

There's no reason to have a Dad Bod when push ups exist. I'm always finding time to crank out a few p-ups. Ahh yep, I do maybe a thousand p-ups a day and I'm a father of two. Those nerds coloring with crayons? Time to squeeze in a few p-ups. Little dorks eating mac and cheese? It's p-up time. I'm like a leathered marble statue of a really muscular guy, my muscles are so tight and rugged. Hell, I took a p-up break while typing this comment. The ladies at work, these little work ladies, love when I crank out p-ups right there in front of them and come up off the floor red faced and with a sizeable bulge in my slacks. That bulge is unrelated to the p-ups, by the way, I'm just a guy who's always one hard nipple poking through a shirt away from a full meat platter. Hell, I'd cheat on my wife with one of these little work ladies if she wasn't one of the little work ladies I work with. We bone in the bathroom. I get jacked on p-ups and then we bone in the bathroom and there's nothing my boss can do about it because my vascularity is way too intimidating. I tell him he should do some p-ups if he wants to fuck my wife. It's the only way she gets that slizz juiced and loosed. She wants to see multitudinous p-ups and she wants to see those p-ups now! Whoops! Haha, okay, looks like she's watching me type this over my shoulder. Uh oh. See ya later, nerdbags. I'm gonna p-ups myself up to a full plumper and pump that honey ham rump of my little work lady wife.
April 2021

i got this new anime plot

i got this new anime plot. basically there’s this high school girl except she’s got huge boobs. i mean some serious honkers. a real set of badonkers. packin some dobonhonkeros. massive dohoonkabhankoloos. big ol’ tonhongerekoogers. what happens next?! transfer student shows up with even bigger bonkhonagahoogs. humongous hungolomghononoloughongous
July 2019

Weebs

Anime

Classic

TO BATTLE

twitchquotes: ᕦ[ •́ ﹏ •̀ ]⊃¤=[]::::::::> TO BATTLE ᕦ[ •́ ﹏ •̀ ]⊃¤=[]::::::::>
twitch chat
February 2015
Forsen

I sexually identify as an Attack Helicopter

I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm *** retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
November 2014

Classic

I sexually Identify as

I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime

twitchquotes: I feel so bad for people who unironically like anime. Like, they didn't choose to be born with an IQ of 20 in a home with unloving parents. Imagine all the bullying they must experience at home, at school, and at the special services daycare. Let's stop bullying them, guys. They may be too retarded to understand that's what we're doing, but that doesn't mean we should pick on them. Thank you
twitch chat
August 2019

Weebs

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