[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
twitch chat
September 2017
I used to be a real ad
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You think it鈥檚 funny to take screenshots of people鈥檚 NFTs, huh?

You think it鈥檚 funny to take screenshots of people鈥檚 NFTs, huh? You must be a very immature person to steal someone鈥檚 property that they PAID for. Yeah, I said it. You鈥檙e the kind of person who thinks that property theft (a seriously illegal offence) is a joke. I don鈥檛 even know why you took that screenshot, because you didn鈥檛 pay 1000 dollars for it. I did. The blockchain doesn鈥檛 lie. Even if you try to save it, it鈥檚 my property. You鈥檙e just angry that you couldn鈥檛 afford this priceless masterpiece. Even if you could, your fingers couldn鈥檛 even click fast enough to get one of the 10000 NFTs sold. You鈥檙e just mad you don鈥檛 own what I own. So, delete that screenshot, or I swear, you鈥檒l be hearing from my lawyers.
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SHOVE A HAMSTER

twitchquotes: 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣 SHOVE A HAMSTER IN MY ASS 銉洁技嗪堎勍溹簣嗉斤緣
twitch chat
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Reynad

I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle

twitchquotes: I'm jealous of Kripp's gangsta lifestyle ... the baller veganism ... the high fibre diet ... the dope falafel wraps. The dude is regular!
twitch chat
May 2015
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Kripp, Blizzard here again

twitchquotes: Kripp, Blizzard here again. We've noticed that you've been away from Hearthstone for at least 2 hours. We're just wondering if everything is okay. Is it still mages? We're serious about nerfing them if it's a problem to you. Our Viewbots are ready to bring you much ad revenue. Thank you Kripp, hope to see you soon!
twitch chat
April 2015
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Can someone explain xQc to me?

Can someone explain xQc to me? I watched his stream for the first time yesterday (always just seen him in clips) and he spent roughly 80-90% of the stream slamming his desk after he farts. Is that what all his streams are? Does he not do anything else but fart and slam all day?
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xQcOW
Text-to-Speech Playing