[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
twitch chat
September 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Artosis is glad Kripp is joining the way of the sellout

twitchquotes: ๏ผท๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ๏ผด ๏ผซ๏ผฒ๏ผฉ๏ผฐ๏ผฐ๏ผŒ ๏ผฉ๏ผด๏ผ‡๏ผณ ๏ผญ๏ผฅ ๏ผก๏ผฒ๏ผด๏ผฏ๏ผณ๏ผฉ๏ผณ๏ผŽ ๏ผฉ๏ผ‡๏ผญ ๏ผง๏ผฌ๏ผก๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผ‡๏ผฒ๏ผฅ ๏ผช๏ผฏ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผฉ๏ผฎ๏ผง ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผท๏ผก๏ผน ๏ผฏ๏ผฆ ๏ผด๏ผจ๏ผฅ ๏ผณ๏ผฅ๏ผฌ๏ผฌ๏ผฏ๏ผต๏ผด๏ผŽ
twitch chat
September 2014
Kripp

RIP Joe the Spider

I know this is really stupid but Iโ€™m sad about it. Yesterday I had a friend come over. Iโ€™m a girl who lives alone so I guess some โ€œdudeโ€ stuff hasnโ€™t been done around the house. Context: I have a spider named joe. Heโ€™s a dandy long leg. Heโ€™s been my friend in the bathroom for months and had recently made his way down to closer by me by the tub instead of on the ceiling. I like to think I gained his trust. Well my friend goes into the bathroom and comes out said โ€œyouโ€™re welcomeโ€. Iโ€™m super confused. So I ask โ€œfor what?โ€ He says โ€œI just killed a big ass spider for youโ€. I couldnโ€™t even contain myself. I just yelled โ€œYOU KILLED JOE?!โ€ And started tearing up. I didnโ€™t tell him to leave Joe alone it never occurred to me. JOE TRUSTED ME. Joe had been in my bathroom since he was super tiny and he grew to be such a big boy. My friend was distraught. Heโ€™s a Pisces, so he immediately felt my deep sorrow for Joe. He apologized and swore to never squish any more spiders at my house. I think Joe was biologically female because there is a baby Joe. Baby Joe is on my ceiling but idk if I can gain Baby Joeโ€™s trust after they witnessed the murder of their parental figure. RIP Joe I miss you so much. Getting ready in the morning will never be the same.
May 2022

Wait Aurateur is actually bald?

twitchquotes: Iโ€™ve been blind since birth. After restorative eye surgery I got a new lease on life. I can drive, watch TV, see the sunset. But more importantly, I can finally truly watch my favorite twitch streamer, Aurateur. From the sounds of it he is a god gamer and the chat is so rambunctious itโ€™s always a good time. Alright, time to log into twitch and see what heโ€™s up to........ Wait this guy is actually bald? lmao Iโ€™m outta here
twitch chat
November 2020
Aurateur

XQC's chat makes me sick

twitchquotes: Don't you guys feel any embarrassment? Being trash in chat and in TTS all day and being full of shit while XQC is trying to give us juicer content? A lot of you guys are a disgrace to me and to others who're trying to enjoy the stream. You people make me sick
twitch chat
June 2020
xQcOW

Patrick Star - I am back

โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–„โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€Iโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–’โ”€โ–€โ”€โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€AMโ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€BACK โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–„โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–€โ–„โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ”€ โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€ โ”€โ–€โ–„โ–€โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–’โ–€โ–„โ–€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–ˆโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–ˆโ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–ˆโ–’โ–’โ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–Œโ–’โ–’โ–ˆโ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€ โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ–€โ–€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€โ”€
August 2015
Kripp
Text-to-Speech Playing