[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
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September 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
More Copypastas

Banger from /r/conservativerap

Aye Yuh Uh Skrrrt Yuh I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32) Instrumental break I hate people who have a different skin color from me (x32)
July 2021

Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth

According to my scientific studies, Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. I am being 100 percent serious when I say this. This shouldn't even be an unpopular opinion, people just don't think about what the word "difficult" actually means. Peeing with a boner is more difficult than giving birth. Giving birth is definitely more painful, but pain by itself does not make something difficult. For example, putting my hand in a fire is not difficult, but it would hurt a lot. In order for something to be difficult, there has to be some chance of failure due to lack of skill, practice, or technique. Peeing with a boner often requires creative problem solving skills, especially in small spaces. There is no creative problem solving aspect of giving birth. Additionally, the way humans have evolved for these two actions supports my point. Giving birth is a natural process, which humans have evolved to be able to do. The female body is literally designed so that it can give birth with the lowest possible chance of error. The only real error that can happen is a miscarriage, which is also a natural occurrence, not a failure that occurs due to a lack of skill in giving birth. The male body, on the other hand, has evolved specifically so that peeing with a boner is very difficult. The only purpose for having a boner is to impregnate a woman, so the male body evolved to prevent urination during sex. On top of the difficulty in simply getting the pee to flow, there's the issue of actually positioning yourself so that the boner is pointing into the toilet bowl (urinals are much easier, but not always an option). In the past, I have had to give up and wait until my boner goes away because it was simply too difficult to actually pee in the toilet. There has never been a case where a woman has tried to give birth after being pregnant for nine months, not been able to do it, and said "fuck it" and waited 3 more months to try again because it would be easier the second try. Giving birth happens, every single time, because it's a natural process - peeing with a boner is the opposite.
May 2021

Why not just play melee?

twitchquotes: I find it so weird that the smash4 crowd is so hype that ultimate "moves more like melee" Like if youre so torqued about melee movement why not just.. play melee? The game is already out, doesn't require a 300$ console, is likely a better game, and doesn't have an expiration date
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December 2018

Super Smash Bros

To protect the world from ad-vestation

twitchquotes: To protect the world from ad-vestation. TableHere To unite all adblockers within our nation. TableHere Jesse TableHere James TableHere Meowth's the name TableHere Team AdBlock blasts off at the speed of light! TableHere Surrender your revenue now or prepare to fight! TableHere
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September 2018

Pokemon Marathon 2018

Text-to-Speech Playing