[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
twitch chat
September 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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Thinking emoji

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December 2019

Laughing crying

⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠋⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⠙⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⢁⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⡈⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡟⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⢻⣿⣿ ⣿⡟⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⢻⣿ ⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⣠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⡀⣿ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⠋⣠⡾⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠻⢷⣄⠙⣿⣿⡇⢸ ⡇⢸⣿⣿⣾⣿⢀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⡀⣿⣷⣾⣿⡇⢸ ⡇⠸⠟⣫⣥⣶⣧⠹⠿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⠏⣼⣶⣬⣍⠻⠇⢸ ⡧⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢰⣦⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⡆⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⢼ ⡇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠈⠙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸ ⣿⣌⡻⠿⠿⢋⣴⣦⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⢀⣴⣦⡙⠿⠿⢟⣡⣾ ⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠙⢿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⡀⣀⣤⣶⣿⣿⡿⠋⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣉⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⣉⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣤⣌⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣡⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
March 2020

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG

Chess is a crappy tactical turn based RPG developed by a bunch of monkeys. Right away you'll notice Chess has no storyline. Instead, all you notice is the the White army and the Black army are fighting each other over a battlefield. Note the "a battlefield," because Chess only has one story map. As for the actual combat, it's extremely dull. Each unit can kill another with only one hit. This means units with a real good movement ability dominate the field (more on that bellow). There aren't even any combat animations or anything that happens in combat. One unit moves on it's space and "captures" it, and the piece is removed from the game with no form of action or special effects. Yawn. Chess has shitty class balance. The Queen is flat out overpowered while your actual front line units, the Pawns. can't do shit. I think the developers were afraid that no one would use the female character so they buffed up her abilities really high but now theres no point in using any other unit. The rest of the units suck. Rooks can only move in 4 directions, same with Bishops. Boring. Also, whats up with the Knight? It has the most bizzare combat abilities of all the units. They're retardly hard to use cause they jump around like retards to move and attack. The devs should have named this unit Ninja, since Knights didn't jump around like that in real life. Worst part, is the king. You see, the devs decided that if your king gets captured, you instantly lose the game. W-T-F? This wouldn't be a problem, except that he can't move for crap. Seriously, the most important unit in the game can only move 1 space a turn? Good luck keeping him alive while every other unit in the game dances around him. Unbalanced classes, lackluster gameplay, and not to mention repetitive 1 hour+ games. Chess is not worth the time or your money. Buy Final Fantasy Tactics or Disgaea instead. 3 out of 10.
December 2020

I hate Among Us

I can't fucking take it. I see an image of a random object posted and then I see it, I fucking see it. "Oh that looks kinda like the among us guy" it started as. That's funny, that's a cool reference. But I kept going, I'd see a fridge that looked like among us, I'd see an animated bag of chips that looked like among us, I'd see a hat that looked like among us. And every time I'd burst into an insane, breath deprived laugh staring at the image as the words AMOGUS ran through my head. It's torment, psychological torture, I am being conditioned to laugh maniacly any time I see an oval on a red object. I can't fucking live like this... I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't! And don't get me fucking started on the words! I'll never hear the word suspicious again without thinking of among us. Someone does something bad and I can't say anything other than "sus." I could watch a man murder everyone I love and all I would be able to say is "red sus" and laugh like a fucking insane person. And the word "among" is ruined. The phrase "among us" is ruined. I can't live anymore. Among us has destroyed my fucking life. I want to eject myself from this plane of existence. MAKE IT STOP!
February 2021

Among Us / Amogus

I hope Zoe wins xD

twitchquotes: I hope Zoe wins xD. I’m a Zoe main and she’s just so fun!! People get so trolled by the bubble, and her voice lines are so cute like when she sings about chocolate cake LOL! She’s super random but also smarter than she looks, just like me xD
twitch chat
February 2020

Classic

League of Legends

Text-to-Speech Playing