[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
twitch chat
September 2017
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs

What the fuck did you just fucking say about OTM FDs, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated bottom of my class in the Special Needs Division of the Navy Seals, and I've been bag holding from pump n' dumps on WSB since 2012, AND I have over 300 confirmed margin calls. I am trained in the 'tism and I'm the top retard in the entire United States armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another normie retail investor. I will wipe out my portfolio with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit about OTM FDs over the Internet? Think again, fuckface. As we speak I am contacting my wife's network of boyfriends across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your portfolio. Your fucking 401k is dead, kid. I can trade anywhere, anytime, and I can lose fat stacks over seven hundred ways, and that's just with TSLA FDs. Not only am I extensively trained in sniffing glue, but I have access to the entire crayon collection of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass boomer stocks off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit crayon diarrhea all over you, the likes of which would make even Jackson Pollock jealous, and you will drown in it. You're fucking done, kiddo.
September 2021

WallStreetBets

Navy Seal

Pepe 200 IQ

⠄⣠⣤⣤⣄⠄⢀⣤⣤⣤⡓⠦⢤⣤⣤⣤⣔⠦⢤⣀⣀⣤⣤⢤⣀⣤⣤⣤⡀⠄ ⡿⠿⠗⣽⣿⠊⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠈⣾⣿⠁⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⠄⣱⣿⡟⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⠄⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠄⣼⣿⠋⠈⠄⢸⣿⡇⣿⣿⢠⢸⣿⡇⢸⣿⠄⢠⠄⠄⣿⣿⢰⢸⣿⠄⣿⣿⠄ ⠞⢿⡿⠿⠿⠄⠘⠻⠷⠿⣋⣚⣌⡻⠷⠿⢟⣘⡆⢚⡄⠿⠟⢸⣬⡛⢷⣿⣋⠄ ⠄⠄⡇⠄⠄⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡋⠉⢐⣒⣒⡒⠎⠻⡿⣛⣩⠭⠭⢤⣀⣀⠄ ⢸⡍⠄⠄⢠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡓⠕⣊⣭⠥⠄⠄⢩⣍⢿⡏⣴⣶⠡⠄⠐⣮⣝⠳ ⠸⢲⠄⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣉⡻⠿⠆⠄⠄⠜⣋⣼⣷⣉⠿⠦⠤⣂⣡⡶⠂ ⠄⠸⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢟⣫⣿⣿⣟⠻⠿⠿⢟⣛⠋⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄ ⠄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠉⢉⣉⠉⣠⣄⠄⣠⣤⡀⣠⣤⣀⣤⣀⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠘⠻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⣀⡁⠭⣛⠿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣀⣉⠄⠉⠙⠉⠋⠉⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣤⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⣝⣛⡒⠤⠭⠉⢩⣭⠍⣿⢛⣛⣛⡛⢛⣃⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⡜⢿⠌⣵⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣦⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄
November 2021

Pepe

I have a 197 word essay due tomorrow

twitchquotes: fck my life!!! I have a 197 word essay due tomorrow and I have no idea where to start. Just WAIT till you kiddies have real homework, then we will see how much time you have to spam in here
twitch chat
November 2014
Kripp

Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon

twitchquotes: Today I attempted to insert a whole cantaloupe melon into my anus because the local shops had run out of apricots (I buy a lot). Using about a gallon of butter, breathing techniques and a few hours I managed to finally get it inside. However it was too uncomfortable so I tried to shit it back out.This is where things got confusing because rather than a melon sliding out half a dozen apricots did. Now there is a chance that I just blacked out upon excreting the cantaloupe and it rolled away somewhere and that I happened to have a dozen or so left over apricots lying around my rectum from earlier but I cannot for the life of me find the melon anywhere.I think I may have the power to anally turn melons into apricots. Further experimentation will be required of course (once my rectum has recovered) but if this turns out to be true then I may be able to solve world hunger.
twitch chat
April 2019

Inverted Toucan

dlǝɐsǝ pouʇ qɐu˙ ʇux░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░███████▀█░░░░░░░pǝʌᴉɹɹɐ░░░░░░░░ ████████▄▄▄░░░░sɐɥ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░█████████████▐░░░▐░░uɐɔnoʇ░░░░░░░ ░░████████████▐░░░░▐░░░░ǝl░░░░░░░░ ░░░░██████████▐░░░░▐░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ ░░░░░░███████▄░░░░▌░░░░░░░░▀▀▄▄▌░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░▄█▐░░░░░▌▀▀▀▀▄▄▄▄▀▄▀█▐░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░▌█░░░░▐▄▒▒▒▒▒▀▀▄░░█▄░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░█▀░▀▀▌░███▄▄░░░░▀▄░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░▌██▀░▐░░░░░░░▀▀▄░░░░░ ░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▄███▄▄▀▀▀▄▄▄░░░░░░░░
June 2019
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