[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
twitch chat
September 2017
What happened to this ad? :(
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EU also known as "Easily Upset"

twitchquotes: EU also known as "Easily Upset" is the most overhyped region at Masters 2. Since they gave up on winning the event, they are investing in speedruns. They are current world record holders in fastest map lost and Airport Any %
twitch chat
June 2021

EU vs NA

Valorant

⚠️ ATTENTION ALL MEN: Be EXTREMELY careful you ONLY buy shower products FOR MEN.

I went to the store one time because I was out of my Men's 5-in-1 shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, and shaving cream and wanted to take a shower. As I was in a hurry I didn't bother to check the label, I just grabbed it, paid, and ran. When I got home I turned on the shower, let the water run all over my body (but not on my ass, real men don't wash that) and began applying my new 5-in-1 lotion. Or so I thought. After I had done so I nearly fell to the ground as pain spread all throughout my body (normally as a real man I can handle pain yet this was somehow an exception). I looked down and my penis was completely gone, however my view was quickly obstructed as my pecs began to swell. I reached up to feel my chin only to realize all the hair in my beard had fallen out. My plans afterwards began to fade as I began to lose my extremely masculine interests. In a panic, I reached to turn off the water and jumped out to look in the mirror, however it must be broken as there was a woman staring back at me. It was in this moment that I grabbed the bottle and read the label: For Women.
August 2021

I sexually Identify as a WEEB

twitchquotes: I sexually Identify as a WEEB. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of AYAYA. People say to me that a person being a WEEB is Impossible and I'm fucking retarded but I don't care, I'm cute. From now on I want you guys to call me "AYAYA-CHAN" and respect my right to be cute. If you can't accept me you're a racist and need to check your privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.
twitch chat
May 2019

Weebs

Petition to fly Kripp down to Houston

twitchquotes: I am starting a petition to fly Kripp down to Houston to aid in the Hurricane Harvey relief effort. The unprecedented levels of PJSalt that spew from his mouth will reduce the water levels by at least 75%. One copy pasterino = 1 prayer BlessRNG
twitch chat
September 2017
Kripp

This message is protected by a special font

twitchquotes: TᕼIᔕ ᗰᕮᔕᔕᗩGᕮ Iᔕ ᑭᖇOTᕮᑕTᕮᗪ ᗷY ᗩ ᔕᑭᕮᑕIᗩᒪ ᖴOᑎT. IT'ᔕ IᗰᑭOᔕᔕIᗷᒪᕮ TO ᑕOᑭY IT.
twitch chat
March 2016
Reynad
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