[Copypasta] The art of sucking

twitchquotes: I consider sucking d**k an art form. When someone tells me to suck his d**k I view it as an honor and a privilege. Not to mention an opportunity to show off my unparalleled d**k sucking skills. Most of the time, the man puts up quite the struggle and yells at me that he didn't mean it literally. But I see straight through that ruse. When I finally free that d**k from his pants and place it inside my mouth everything changes. The look of blissful ecstasy on his face reaffirms what I already hold true in my heart. This is what I was born to do. D**k is my medium and I am its master. No homo.
twitch chat
September 2017
(▀̿Ĺ̯├┬┴┬┴ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
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Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes

twitchquotes: Two guys are in a boat with three cigarettes. They had no fire, so they threw one of the cigarettes overboard, and the entire boat became a cigarette lighter.
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December 2018

Angry Wojak chat bubble

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They were tears of pain

twitchquotes: They were not tears of salt; they were tears of pain. Jowi03 was devastated after being beaten by Kripp. The supple, 11 year old child wails aloud, his dream shattered, realizing he will never be a professional gamer. “I’m not going 0-3,” Kripp lashes with his sinister tongue. Yes, just another ‘easy win’ for Kripparrian...
twitch chat
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Kripp

Hearthstone

I want to become a hearth

twitchquotes: I want to become a hearth. I know there’re people out there just like me, but I’m different. On November 14th, I’m moving to Jamestown; home of the hearths. I’ve cut off my arms, and now light myself on fire everywhere I go as training. I'm not be a hearth yet, but if you give me a chance, I will become the greatest hearth.
twitch chat
October 2014
Kripp

Don't use the "F word" on the trade floor

Just heard an employee use the “F word” on the trade floor, and immediately fired them. Maybe other funds will tolerate that kind of language, but don’t you dare talk about Fundamentals here.
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