[Copypasta] why do they call it xbox 360?

twitchquotes: why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away πŸ˜‚ πŸ‘Œ πŸ’― πŸ”₯
twitch chat
June 2017
(β–€ΜΏΔΉΜ―β”œβ”¬β”΄β”¬β”΄ Psst... kid, you wanna disable adblock?
More Copypastas

mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition

I'm convinced that mattress/furniture stores exist in a quantum superposition of grand opening and going out of business sale. It is both and neither at once until an observer records the state at which point it becomes one or the other. But because you know exactly where the store is located, you cannot know how fast it is going out of business because of your uncertainty about its business momentum. All around us, all the time pairs of anti-discount mattress stores and discount mattress stores are popping into existence, forming the quantum memory foam that is the basis for the universe. Without the pressure of this quantum memory foam strip malls would collapse. We can see evidence of this when a pair is created such that one half is within the sales radius of a supermassive furniture store like Ikea-- one of them is pulled in and the other escapes as a Hawking mattress store.
December 2020

Dennis

twitchquotes: ο½—ο½ˆο½…ο½Ž ο½„ο½…ο½Žο½Žο½‰ο½“ ο½“ο½ο½‰ο½”ο½…οΌŒ my ο½…ο½™ο½… ο½ο½•ο½”ο½ο½ο½ο½”ο½‰ο½ƒο½ο½Œο½Œο½™ go to ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ ο½ˆο½…ο½ο½Œο½”ο½ˆοΌŽ i ο½—ο½ο½”ο½ƒο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… ο½ˆο½…ο½’ο½ ο½ˆο½…ο½ο½Œο½”ο½ˆ ο½ο½Žο½„ ο½†ο½…ο½…ο½Œ i ο½ˆο½ο½–ο½… ο½“ο½…ο½˜ ο½—ο½‰ο½”ο½ˆ ο½”ο½ˆο½… οΌ’ skipped ο½”ο½•ο½’ο½ŽοΌŽ all ο½‚ο½…ο½ƒο½ο½ο½‰ο½Žο½‡ sudoku
twitch chat
March 2014
Kripp

Masturbation on a plane should be socially acceptable

March 2021

Ameng meets Bumper in a hallway

twitchquotes: Bumper broke into a cold sweat. There he was across the hallway, a man whose name that brought chills down his spine. Bumper looked down, hoping to avoid direct eye contact. "A-ameng," Bumper stuttered. "What up, virgin" Ameng boomed. Bumper braced himself but it was too late. Ameng's 5000 tonne shoulder slammed into his, the movement causing air waves across the room. Bumper flew back and the concrete wall chipped around him. His shoulder was definitely broken. "Later, nerd." Ameng chuckled.
twitch chat
March 2019
OverwatchLeague

Overwatch

Why did you pick Hero at EVO?

twitchquotes: Nairo, it's been weeks since EVO and I still don't understand why you didn't choose Hero and win the whole thing. It'll be a matter of time before we follow Australia's example and ban him, and you'll be sorry you didn't use his banworthy strength when you could. Also can you use Ganondorf again, he's rlly strong. Sorry for long message, but you should consider my advice. Good luck Nairo!
twitch chat
August 2019
NairoMK

Super Smash Bros

Text-to-Speech Playing