twitchquotes:
why do they call it xbox 360? because when you see it you turn 360 degrees and walk away π π π― π₯
twitch chat
I used to be a real ad
More Copypastas
You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa
twitchquotes:
You guys are so rude. First Jake now Sinatraa. Iβm so disappointed. I look up to both of them and hope one day to get to get out of silver. If anything this is an extremely bronze, disgusting chat.
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OverwatchLeague
Overwatch
Romanian Salt Baron
twitchquotes:
POLICE REPORT - Canadian Mounties have at last apprehended the "Romanian Salt Baron" after suspiciously salty whining was heard outside of a dingy apartment in Toronto. The Salt Baron, a morose, balding gypsy man, was at the time playing a children's card game when Mounties burst through the door. The man attempted to resist by "brofisting" the officials, but his scrawny vegan arms had no effect. The man's wife then assumed her true Succubus form and escaped into the Nether. More at 11.
twitch chat
Kripp
I'm just a memer
twitchquotes:
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β just a memer γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½γγ½γ½
β just a memer γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½ο½γγ½γ½ο½γ½γγ½γ½
twitch chat
Forsen
Classic
Never click on scam links, try typing the URL by hand
twitchquotes:
Summoners, beware! The consequences can be quite Sivir if you click on links promising free Riot Points. Never click on links that you donβt trust - instead, try typing the URL in by hand.
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Riot Games
League of Legends
Lord Microsoft
10:43 PM, Microsoft Tower, Washington.
A figure stands in shadow, red lights from the theistic ceiling flood the spacious hall. Along the sides, hallmark pieces of technology are proudly displayed on golden pedestals. The Xbox, Windows, Hololens; At the center of it all, the vaccine.
"Microsoft Microbe Covid-19" the label on the syringe reads. A glowing substance can be seen sitting still inside.
Monitors flicker to life at the end of the hall, each one showing the point of view of an innocent civilian. The light draws a silhouette of a man. His body, frail. His skin is leathery and rugged. Breathing apparatus cover his face, a cold green mist slowly spewing out.
The grand door opens, humanoids armed with weapons drag an unkempt and furious man towards the being in shadow. They throw him to the floor, spit slathering the ground.
"This is the last one?" the figure asks.
"Yes, Lord Microsoft. all 4,607,423,673 other citizens have been accounted for."
The rugged man looks upwards, his face bloodied and bruised. His eyes meet Lord Microsoft's. Puffed from tears, his eyes can only show one emotion: anger.
"Bill Gates, you piece of shit. I swore to Samantha that if I ever-"
"Silence, creature!" Lord Microsoft slaps him with the back of his hand. "I am lord Microsoft, and you will refer to me as such!"
The guards grab the man, hoisting him up.
"Now, let us delay no further. It has taken me years to get to this point, and I will not have my victory denied!" Lord Microsoft grabs the vaccine and primes it for injection.
"Such a small thing, isn't it? Yet, it has afforded me the right to dominate all life on Earth. Covid was a blessing, not a curse."
The man's eyes widened, he screams in retaliation, but the guards shut his mouth with force. Lord Microsoft pierces his flesh with the needle. A flourescent orange liquid can be seen coursing through his veins. He falls to the floor, his muscles tightening and constricting in unnatural fashion. His eyes bulge from his skull and he shouts in pain.
He slumps over, and in only a moment he comes back to his feet. His pupils dilated and his skin, pale.
"How may I serve you, my lord."